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This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Like images of Jesus on pancakes, toast and frying pans, reflections of the Virgin Mary in windows, or a Leprechaun sighting in an Alabama tree, dongs are all around us....

Let's Watch Larissa Riquelme "Compete" In Some Sort Of "Reggaeton Dance Contest"
Last night, Paraguay Cell Phone Girl Larissa Riquelme sent out a link called "Así concluyó el duelo de reggaetón" via Twitter. The loose translation is "Thus ended the duel of reggaetón." She's not wearing much, ends up with a belt looped around her neck and gets high marks from the judges. So the...

Today Was The Day "Mandingo Cock Deasel" Became An American Hero
His name is Eddie Evans. His superpower is rescuing his fellow man from a burning car at a Chevron gas station in DeKalb County, Ga. His choice of attire is what makes him the Stuff Of Legend....

How To React To Bad Dreams Like A Total Pussy
I had a nightmare the other night. Usually, this isn't anything noteworthy. Everyone has the occasional nightmare, and then shakes it off and goes back to bed. Or masturbates to get the demons out and THEN goes back to bed. Sex cures fear, I tell you....

Some People Don't See The Humor In Bears Drinking Vodka For Human Entertainment
Per Reuters Life!, Ukraine's Environment Minister Mykola Zlochevsky told Interfax, "On television, they keep showing bears suffering in restaurants and roadside hotels. How long can we tolerate animal torture in restaurants where drunken guests make bears drink vodka for laughs?"...

Novak Djokovic Performed A Goofy "Little Serbian Dance" With Jay Leno And Katie Holmes Last Night
This video of world No. 1 tennis player Novak Djokovic's appearance on Jay Leno's still-breathing program last night is nine minutes and 15 seconds long. Do yourself a favor: Skip the first seven minutes, to when he starts talking about the celebration that commenced among his team of fellow trave...

Here's Video Of A Brawl During The Dolphin Show At A Russian Oceanarium
We've presented you with a lot of fights and/or boobs for your viewing pleasure. This is probably the first instance of a dolphin-witnessed fracas in an "oceanarium," though. Flipper shouldn't be subjected to this half-assed take on The Outsiders, but we should....

Yes, Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Still Registered For A Few Things At Crate & Barrel
Prior to the recent love-on-the-rocks update that Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler and reality someone-or-other Kristin Cavallari chose not to become man and wife after all, friends and well-wishers pretty much hit everything the couple asked for on their Crate & Barrel registry....

Pussyblocked By Jealous Male Suitors!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

It's Not The Heat, It's The Humididong
Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less....

This Is How Gruesome It Looks When A Sword Gets Embedded In Someone's Head (NSFW)
Zhang Bin is a 15-year-old boy from China. Zhang Bin can also now tell people what it feels like to have a sword embedded in your forehead and get the hospital runaround before undergoing successful surgery....

Presenting A School-Kid Reenactment Of The Saddest Scene In Movie History
As you may have already heard, that scene in "The Champ" when T.J. (young Ricky Schroder) weeps over his father (Jon Voight) Billy's body after a boxing match turned fatal is the scientifically proven saddest movie scene ever....

In The War Between An Angry Ginger And Aspiring Ultimate Fighter, The Ginger Won With A Kill-Shot
The St. Petersburg Times's "Man accused of beating to death aspiring 'ultimate fighter' at Zephyrhills party" headline comes nowhere near telling the whole story of Samuel Smith's death (allegedly) at the ruddy hands of Richard Starks Jr....

24 Hours At Comic Con
The thing about Comic Con is that, underneath all the geeky costumes and all that other fanboy bullshit, it's still very much a convention. It takes place in a nondescript convention hall that's roughly the size of the Pentagon. The panels take place in big depressing conference rooms that look very...

Omar Little Will Appear As A Fresh-Out-Of-Prison Biology Professor On Community
Television changed this morning the moment when actor Michael Kenneth Williams stated via Twitter, "For all the community peeps out there it's official look for me in up coming eps." Translation: Omar from The Wire is comin' to NBC's Community. It's nice to see he made it through the whole Kenard ...

North Carolina Woman Left Paralyzed After Bachelorette-Party Accident Will Get Married Today
Last June, middle-school teacher Rachelle Friedman was preparing to get married. But then, a friend pushed her into a pool. Playfully. With no malice, Friedman says. She hit the bottom awkwardly, though, and the end result was that she was a quadriplegic....

Kim Kardashian Files $20M Lawsuit Over Ad Featuring Ex-Boyfriend Reggie Bush's Kardashian-Lookalike Current Girlfriend
Yesterday, a woman who built a "reality star" career from a sex tape that turned her ass into a household name filed suit against a clothing store for featuring a woman who built an "Old Navy commercial star" career from looking like the woman with the sex-tape ass. Fun fact: reality star is New O...

Dry-Hump On, Good Mötley Crüe-Lovin' People Of Nashville
Tipster James sent us this photo all the way back on July 5, when Nashville was fresh from being rocked by the Crüe two days prior. And for reasons unknown, we haven't posted it until now. For that we apologize profusely....

Today In Great Mugshots
Meet Tammy Hinton, a 53-year-old gal who police were trying to track down for three years on an identity-theft warrant. Somebody narked that she'd be back in Michigan for her wedding. So, Johnny Law swooped down on the City of Zion Ministries accordingly....

Porn Star Arrested For Abusing Roosters, Guinea Hens, Pigeons, Living Goats, Dead Goats And Ducks
Per the Miami New Times, "Bang Bus porn star 'Ramon' — famous for his giant penis — was arrested last week for keeping a menagerie of suffering farm animals locked in a vehicle on a 90-degree day."...