deadspin-xy Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

D.C. Woman Commits Her Life To Hiding Bras
Here's a very special report about a garment that employs special buttons to prevent the bra-exposing "blouse gape" scourge. What inspired the "inventor"? Picking out proper wardrobe to work at a lobbying firm....

For Those Who'd Like To Do Something Better On Super Bowl Sunday Than Watching Football
It's a non-sports event for Charles Bock, author of Beautiful Children, who's been a surprisingly avid Deadspin supporter. His family's going through a hardship. Modern lit fans and do-gooders should consider attending and/or donating. Thanks for your consideration. [World'sMostLiteraryRentPartyEver...

Guy Narcs On Two Ladies, Dude Threesoming In His Carport
Of all the plot twists in the nine-sentence SeattleCrime.com story, this one tickled my contemplative fancy:...

Scientific Proof Of How To Beat Someone’s Ass At Monopoly
Yesterday a reader and I theorized that the Orange properties were the best monopoly to own in Monopoly. And now a scientician has proven us RIGHT!...

Has The President Ever Had Anal?
Oooh, time for my sack full of goodies! Your letters:...

The Worst News Lede You'll Read All Year (UPDATE)
"For the past month, body parts have been piling up around Miami-Dade and Broward counties like extra pounds on Kim Kardashian come Christmas time." [Miami New-Times, Google cache Screengrab below]...

Who Wants To See A Cockatoo Singing That Drowning Pool Song?
We consider this a public service to the five of you who haven't yet seen Lolita the cockatoo singing the WWE classic, "Bodies."...

The Best, Most Deranged Story About Gwar You'll Ever Read
There are band profiles and there are Gwar profiles and then there's this: The first part of J. Bennett's monstrous, satisfyingly disturbing Gwar piece, "Slay Bells," is after the jump, courtesy of Decibel. Prepare for words that haunt....

Indiana Man Selling "Racist Soaps" Doesn't Have Time For "You Politically Correct People"
An Indiana shopkeeper stands accused of selling racist soaps. Gary DeWester, the merchant, says they're "nostalgic" and representative of "American history." He keeps them in his "joke drawer."...

CNN Inexplicably Airs <em>Dumb And Dumber</em> Diarrhea Scene
Right after a report on London student protests, there it was: Jeff Daniels loudly evacuating the contents of his bowels. Your move, FOX News....

"Just Put The Fucking Pizza In The Fucking Oven": LSU Girl Freaks Out At Papa John's
One of America's future leaders has had it up to here with her pizza taking so long. Bonus: fellow student pulls the "hold me back, bro" move while pretending to want to fight her....

This Is How Captain Awesome Signs His Name
Deadspin has acquired the official petition for change of name that Captain Awesome, the Oregon man formerly known as Douglas Allen Smith, Jr., submitted to the Circuit Court of Lane County in late September. This is his legal signature....

It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before Snoop Dogg And Waffle House Found One Another
Snoop Dogg posed a question to his Twitter fam just before 11 a.m.: Denny's or Waffle House? Two hours later, Waffle House was a trending topic....

The Greatest Collection Of C-List Celebrities Doing Bad Karaoke On A Beach Ever Seen On Norwegian Television
We don't ask you to watch 6-minute long videos too often. We're asking you now....

Unfortunately, Jameson Does Not Come In Juice Box Form. Yet.
This image, a screen-grab of veteran character actor Tommy Flanagan enjoying a Jameson booze box during this week's season finale of Sons of Anarchy is causing a relative stir, in part because such a booze box cannot be purchased....

Rejoice! Alcoholic Whipped Cream Is Here To Replace Four Loko
Four Loko will be gone from our (American) store shelves by Dec. 13. If you aren't going to make your own, and you insist on consuming grain alcohol in a gimmicky fashion, there is another option: hooch-heavy whipped cream....

What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...

Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....

Crazy NYC Corner Store Fight Is Crazy
NYC bodegas are always good for something. Take this ridiculous fight for example. Somebody owes somebody money, so somebody else throws some shit around, then: pandemonium....

A Watched Bridge Never Implodes
A pair of Chicago morning show anchors eagerly wait for the demolition of a bridge...and wait...and wait some more. They come back to the studio for some chit-chat, only to completely miss the destruction. They proceed to freak right the fuck out....