deadspin-xy Page 41 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Screw You And Your Out Of Office Autoreply
I was on a late flight home last week with my two kids. Our flight was delayed by 90 minutes for a "chemical problem," which I'm certain was airline codespeak for, "the pilot has gotten drunk and wet himself." Anyway, the plane got to the front of the runway, was prepared to take off, and then turne...
The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...
Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....
Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...
Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...
Thai Police Catch Attempted-Murder Suspect, Take Amusing Picture
Prasop Homhuan (pointee)—wanted in connection with one of those Asian karaoke murders—was apprehended after more than a year on the run. The authorities then took a picture clearly showing that they had gotten their man. [Phuket Gazette, via @jeffkoyen]...
Science Wins Again: Heavy Drinkers Live Longer
Hey teetotalers: not only are you a drag, you're going to die younger. Live slow, die fast, jerks....
New Yorkers React To Some Pervert Videotaping A Ballerina's Ass, Calling Everyone "Goober"
Click to view Times Square sucks, but every once in a while something special happens. Like when an impromptu photo shoot of a ballerina who is not dressed like a ballerina crosses paths with a guy who videotapes women's butts. [Carlos Miller, via Skeets]...
I've Never Seen Four Effeminate Filipinos So Excited
You think you were thrilled by Miss Philippines making it to the top 15 of the Miss Universe Pageant? Try these four. Sorry ladies, I know you like a guy not afraid to show his emotions, but I don't think they're interested....
Read Bill O'Reilly Wax Uptight About '70s Porn Auteur Gerard Damiano
During the early days of disco, young scribe Bill O'Reilly scribed for the Boston Phoenix. His first article was a feature on the director of Deep Throat, giving new resonance to "Fuck it, we'll do it live." [Boston Phoenix]...
A Roundup Of Angry And Confused Emails Concerning That Bike Crash Video
Last week, I posted this video of a bike collision between an easily distracted helmet-cammed bicyclist and a jaywalking pedestrian. It proved to be fairly popular and elicited a strong reaction. Here are some emails I got....
How To Confront Your Old Man About His Ongoing Porn Habit
Before I get to your letters, some quick programming notes. First: I'm on vacation next week, as much as someone who does what I do can be considered "on vacation," so no funbags or hookup posts or posting at KSK or anything else like that. Drew needs time for whisky....
Socks With Sandals: Good Enough For The Ancient Romans
Two-thousand-year-old fossil sandals show evidence of fibers suggesting that the Romans wore their sandals over socks. If they find an ancient fanny pack, we're dismissing the entire empire's achievements. [The Sun]...
Hungover Owls? Hungover Owls.
Sports, schmorts. Gaze upon all that is wonderful, all that is right, all that is Hungover Owls. You can finally retire that Tumblr you never update because you're not doing better than Hungover Owls....
Miami University Cracking Down On Poopy, Pukey Sorority Parties
Miami University fraternities and sororities will be forced to hire security and designate "sober monitors" at Greek events this year. Why, oh, why would such drastic measures be needed you ask?...
Violent Bike Collision Has Quick, Polite Resolution
A guy riding his bike with a shoulder-mounted camera hits an old man. Words are exchanged. Disputation seems inevitable. Then both graciously agree on their mutual culpability and move on. Moral: Old people need to watch where the fuck they're going....
The Oxford English Dictionary Now Being Interrupted With Buzzing Sound
Vuvuzelas have reached the big time, having been added to the newest edition of the OED along with such other words that we'll be using forever and ever as "staycation," "bromance," "chillax," and "interweb"—singular. [NYT]...
This Is What Happens When You Try To Chug An Entire Bottle Of Patron
Drinking alcohol and chugging alcohol go hand-in-hand in today's party scene. Whether you're icing your bro or using a three-story beer bong, you're chugging. But what happens when you try to chug a bottle of Patron? Vomit. Lots of vomit....
Tila Tequila Attends "Gathering of the Juggalos," Suffers Predictable Fate
"I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw firecrackers on stage." [news.com.au]...