deadspin Page 238 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Northern Illinois Linebacker Suspended For Sacking Opposing Band Member
When you're on a defense that gives up 60 points in regulation, that's reason enough to be suspended. But NIU linebacker Jamaal Bass earned his suspension the hard way, by knocking over a Toledo band member before the matchup Tuesday night. Huskies coach Dave Doeren announced the suspension this a...

Let's Watch Alex Ovechkin, Benched Late In Regulation, Call His Coach A "Fat Fuck"
Your morning roundup for Nov. 2, the day you wouldn't dare touch our Halloween candy if you knew what was up. Video of Ovechkin, which gets good at the 53-second mark, via 25stanley.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Watch Three Young Men Throw Punches In A Heated Battle For Sexy-Nurse Girl's Love
In this installment of random fights across America, three shirtless bros wield fists in an effort to win the affections of a near-shirtless "sexy nurse girl" at a Halloween party in Isla Vista, Cal. Granted, there's nothing to indicate that girl was wearing anything resembling a nurse's uni. But ...

A Lesson In Dealing With Friends Who Suck At The Internet
Your letters:...

The FBI Now Considers The Juggalos A "Loosely-Organized Hybrid Gang"
The annual National Gang Threat Assessment, released yesterday by the FBI, classifies our friends the Juggalos as a "loosely-organized hybrid gang" that is "forming more organized subsets and engaging in more gang-like criminal activity." The grouping ranks them as a kind of junior varsity version o...

This Is A Photo Of What One Lady Says Are Two Ghosts Fucking In Her House
Time once again to play everybody’s favorite game: Florida or Ohio? It’s Ohio....

It Was Halloween, So Maybe The Chiefs Just Frightened Philip Rivers
Your morning roundup for Nov. 1, the morning ... WHOA! Photo via Kansascity.com; h/t to Michael T. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Ro-Mo Sucks. Ro-Mo Sucks. Ro-Mo Sucks.
Your morning roundup for Oct. 31, the day we learned that some kids in England throw flour and eggs on elderly people during this time of the year. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Andrew Luck's Not Rocketing Up Draft Boards After This Performance
Your morning roundup for Oct. 30, the day we learned we really are all Dave McKenna. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Man Not Named Lee Corso Gets Stuck Inside A Tree
"It's unknown why the man climbed into the hole near the base of the tree" but luckily for us, he did. Maybe he picked Stanford to win, too....

Bud Selig Congratulated The St. Louis Cardinals In The Middle Of A Seventh Grade Oral Report
Your morning roundup for Oct. 29, the day we all got tongue-bathed. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Is What Happens When Old Drunk Alumni Trash And Poop A Vanderbilt Frat House On Homecoming To The Tune Of $12,000
Vanderbilt held its homecoming weekend last week, and as is tradition, the fraternities hosted alumni brothers for a Saturday night party. At Sigma Alpha Epsilon, they are still surveying the damage....

Cockblocked On Halloween!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Last Night's Best World Series Highlight: The Fox Logo Shooting Out Of The Umpire's Ass
Your morning roundup for Oct. 28, the day our homemade guillotine really did the trick. H/T to Ricardo N. for the video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Here's Mike Napoli's Grotesque Ankle Injury, Slowed Down To A Ridiculous Speed And Set To Music
A fourth-inning mishap Thursday night found Texas Rangers catcher Mike Napoli's ankle—and the viewing audience's stomach—turned. So here it is, in super-slow-mo and set to The Mountain Goats' "Orange Ball Of Pain" in the first of what I'll unimaginatively call "Deadspin Videos." (They were previou...

Visanthe Shiancoe Had His Own Bombs Bursting In Air Before Sunday's Packers-Vikings Game
Vikings TE Visanthe Shiancoe let his patriotism, and breakfast, shine Sunday before Minnesota's matchup with Green Bay. He even had the courtesy to warn bystanders—something about which he's been especially concerned in the past. [NFL]...

The Toilet That Allows You To Go Number One, Number Two, Or Shoot For Three
It's a "slam dump," but you might want to watch your dribble beyond the arc. [Reddit, via Curbed; h/t to Evan G.]...

Stuck At A Rainy Big East Football Game On A Wednesday? Pass The Time By Powerlifting Coeds
Your morning roundup for Oct. 27, the day we could swear she was trying to break in. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Rangers Made The Most Out Of Losing Cliff Lee, And So Have Their Fans
Your morning roundup for Oct. 26, the day we swear she turned into a donkey. Photo via Midwest Sports Fans. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

There's Finally Proof That Laundry Detergent Is An Effective Lubricant
"At about 6 a.m., a groundskeeper of Blue Rock Springs Park heard a man screaming when he arrived at work. He then called the police to investigate. Upon arrival, police found a 21-year-old man stuck in a child's swing, which has two leg holes. The man told police that he had been stuck in the swin...