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This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Like images of Jesus on pancakes, toast and frying pans, reflections of the Virgin Mary in windows, or a Leprechaun sighting in an Alabama tree, dongs are all around us....

Let's Watch Larissa Riquelme "Compete" In Some Sort Of "Reggaeton Dance Contest"
Last night, Paraguay Cell Phone Girl Larissa Riquelme sent out a link called "Así concluyó el duelo de reggaetón" via Twitter. The loose translation is "Thus ended the duel of reggaetón." She's not wearing much, ends up with a belt looped around her neck and gets high marks from the judges. So the...

Today Was The Day "Mandingo Cock Deasel" Became An American Hero
His name is Eddie Evans. His superpower is rescuing his fellow man from a burning car at a Chevron gas station in DeKalb County, Ga. His choice of attire is what makes him the Stuff Of Legend....

How To React To Bad Dreams Like A Total Pussy
I had a nightmare the other night. Usually, this isn't anything noteworthy. Everyone has the occasional nightmare, and then shakes it off and goes back to bed. Or masturbates to get the demons out and THEN goes back to bed. Sex cures fear, I tell you....

Nomar Garciaparra Appears To Have Drowned Himself In A Sea Of Cliches
Your morning roundup for Aug. 4, the day Dollywood offered a refund to a couple of lesbians. H/T to Adam for the video clip. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Some People Don't See The Humor In Bears Drinking Vodka For Human Entertainment
Per Reuters Life!, Ukraine's Environment Minister Mykola Zlochevsky told Interfax, "On television, they keep showing bears suffering in restaurants and roadside hotels. How long can we tolerate animal torture in restaurants where drunken guests make bears drink vodka for laughs?"...

Novak Djokovic Performed A Goofy "Little Serbian Dance" With Jay Leno And Katie Holmes Last Night
This video of world No. 1 tennis player Novak Djokovic's appearance on Jay Leno's still-breathing program last night is nine minutes and 15 seconds long. Do yourself a favor: Skip the first seven minutes, to when he starts talking about the celebration that commenced among his team of fellow trave...

Here's Video Of A Brawl During The Dolphin Show At A Russian Oceanarium
We've presented you with a lot of fights and/or boobs for your viewing pleasure. This is probably the first instance of a dolphin-witnessed fracas in an "oceanarium," though. Flipper shouldn't be subjected to this half-assed take on The Outsiders, but we should....

Yadier Molina Just Wants Someone To Listen To Him
Your morning roundup for Aug. 3, the day we ate zombie meat. Photo via Sports Grid. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Official Deadspin Guide To Booger Growth
I built a new PC this weekend, and by "I built it" I mean I stood there while my brother-in-law, who knows a lot about computers, assembled it. I probably should have washed the Sun Chips cheese powder off my hands before touching the processor. It's very cool to sit there for a day and take a look ...

Somebody Needs To Tell Hunter Pence To Lay Off The Donuts
Your morning roundup for Aug. 2, the day shoplifting just didn't pay. Photo via The 700 Level. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

If The Lockout Persists, Kobe Bryant Has a Highlight Reel That Might Interest The LA Galaxy
Your morning roundup for Aug. 1, the day we learned what booze is doing to Britain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Behold: This Skymall Ad Is The Only Thing That Still Believes In Jeff Francoeur
Your morning roundup for July 31, the day we realized we would never eat again. See anything that might interest us? Email the tips line. Skymall ad via Alan....

Yes, Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Still Registered For A Few Things At Crate & Barrel
Prior to the recent love-on-the-rocks update that Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler and reality someone-or-other Kristin Cavallari chose not to become man and wife after all, friends and well-wishers pretty much hit everything the couple asked for on their Crate & Barrel registry....

Chris Kluwe Conditionally Surrenders No. 5 To New Vikings QB Donovan McNabb
Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Pussyblocked By Jealous Male Suitors!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

All Of This MLB Trade Deadline And NFL Free Agency Talk Is Really Getting Confusing
Your morning roundup for July 29, the day we got kicked out of Wal-Mart for wearing a string bikini. Photo via @JeffDLowe. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

It's Not The Heat, It's The Humididong
Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less....

This Is How Gruesome It Looks When A Sword Gets Embedded In Someone's Head (NSFW)
Zhang Bin is a 15-year-old boy from China. Zhang Bin can also now tell people what it feels like to have a sword embedded in your forehead and get the hospital runaround before undergoing successful surgery....

Hurry! Andy Reid Is Trying To Get Away!
Your morning roundup for July 28, the day we kept getting hit with popcorn while trying to talk. Photo via @Jeff_McLane. H/T to Michael for the video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....