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Cockblocked By Waves!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Well, Shit, We've Been Giving The Norris Trophy To The Wrong Man Every Year
Your morning roundup for July 1, the day we blamed math on luck. Photo via Reddit....
No Country Club For Old Men
Your morning roundup for June 30, the day the turtles won. Photo via @FortyDeuceTwits....
Dirk Nowitzki Is Big In Germany
Your morning roundup for June 29, the day we started rapping on light poles. Image — of Dirk Nowitzki's triumphant return to his hometown of Wurzburg, Germany — via MSNBC Photoblog....
One Armand De Brignac Midas Bottle For £120,000! An Unscientific Analysis Of An Enormous Johnson's Epic Bar Tab In London
Atlantic City casino scourge Don Johnson (not to be confused with 80s-era TV scourge Don Johnson) must have seen the damage the Bruins did in the MGM Grand bar in Foxwoods recently. He must have burned with envy. For those of you unaware, Don Johnson has earned the dubious moniker of "The Champagne ...
Hunt For Beejoli Shah, Fabulist Author Of Viral "Quentin Tarantino Sucked My Toes!" Story Begins (UPDATE)
So, friendsicles: how many of you had the email from "beejoli" forwarded to you this morning and have subsequently sent it along to others? Dozens, I bet. Thousands even. Dozens of thousands probably. Its veracity is still unknown but I know Gawker is dutifully trying to track down "beejoli" to see ...
What's The Best Way To Clean Up Spooge After Bareback Sex?
Hey, I'm some lady. I'm filling in for that guy you like, who is on vacation, which means that he is most likely drinking rum out of a hollow fruit and riding a horse on a beach somewhere right now (romantic!). Speaking of segueing into talking about horses, my main beef with horses is how fragile t...
Even These Freaks Have More Business On A Baseball Field Than Jeff Francoeur
Your morning roundup for June 28, the day we celebrated an extinction. (Photo of Cirque Du Soleil throwing out the first pitch at the Padres game via Getty Images.)...
Finally, We Get To Talk About Old, Decrepit Yankees Who Are Not Derek Jeter
Your morning roundup for June 27, the day this dog made us question if there was any good in the world. Image of Reggie Jackson enjoying retirement via the New York Daily News....
You Can Fly Like James Bond In "Thunderball" For The Low, Low Price Of $249
Dave Tuxbury works at a place in the Florida Keys where you can strap on a jetpack like the one Sean Connery used in "Thunderball" and, with the help of 30-foot hoses that use seawater as a propellant, fly like a mechanized falcon. They say it's the only place in the country where one can do this....
Deadspin Classic: Gay Softball's "Homo Quota"
With the gay marriage bill being passed in New York, and Pride celebrations taking place across the country, we revisit the question still vexing the world of gay softball: how many straight players are too many?...
American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....
A Thrashers Fan Surrounded By Winnipeg Jets Fans At The Draft Tries To Mask His Pain With Smiles, Beers
Your morning roundup for June 25, the day Wade Boggs introduces you to Deputy Stanley, a dimwitted yokel who does battle with Swamp Shark....
Cockblocked By Shrooms!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
All England Club Witnesses All-World Snot Rocket
Your morning roundup for June 24, the day Nike just said fuck it, do drugs.(Marcos Baghdatis photo via AFP-Getty Images)...
Bryce Harper's Truck Is Exactly What You'd Expect Bryce Harper's Truck To Be
Your morning roundup for June 23, the day Whitey got popped. Image via Nats Enquirer....
The Brilliant Legal Mind Behind Mark Cuban's "Fuck You" Brief
We had to ask Mark Cuban for comment on today's legal filing, which consisted of a photo of the Mavericks celebrating a title. It's a dagger of a brief in the face of a suit accusing him of mismanaging the team, and it shuts down any comebacks. But Cuban deflected credit, telling us "it was all the ...
Crude Dick Joke, Or Another Nationals Typo?
Your morning roundup for June 22, the day we implored you to stand with the seals. Image via tipster BP (not me)....
Miss USA Candidates Attempt To Answer A Question About Evolution, Fail At It
I'll warn you that this video, compiled and edited by the Miami New Times, is uniquely horrific. In it, Miss USA Pageant 2011 contestants attempt to answer — or simply to formulate words in a coherent sentence about the idea proposed — whether or not evolution should be taught in schools. The New ...
Kinder, Gentler Ozzie Guillen Will Still Kick Your Catcher's Mask Into Next Week
Your morning roundup for June 21, the day we literally flushed money down the toilet. (Video h/t Disco Choo, and pay attention to Geovany Soto's face)...