deadspinxy Page 18 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tuesday Night Fights: Rodney Anonymous Examines A Redneck Double Feature Involving Brass Knuckles And Dumpsters
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: the since-removed "Crazy drunk redneck street fight with brass knuckles knockout" and "Redneck lady thrown in Dumpster." Tonight's commentator: occasional Deadspin cont...
How To Jerk Off In A War Zone: Servicemembers Weigh In
Last week, we published a military doctor's very useful field guide to masturbating while on active duty. Unsurprisingly, it elicited plenty of comment on the topic from experienced servicepeople, some of which we have collected for your enjoyment. Got anything to add? Leave a comment in the discus...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Max & Ruby</em>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke. ...
"I Chase Him, I Bite Him, Bad Man, He Tasty": Police Dog Writes Witness Statement
Prosecutors in England, prepping for a case, repeatedly contacted a police department for details on the arrest—specifically, they demanded a witness statement from "PD Peach," an officer who assisted. The problem is, PD stands for Police Dog, and Peach is an adorable German Shepherd, and as such is...
Did The Movie <em>Heathers</em> Kill The Name Heather?
Welcome to Dataspin, a new weekly data visualization of whatever the fuck....
The Coming War: A Military Doctor's Field Guide To Masturbating In Afghanistan
The past decade of combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has given military physicians such as myself the important opportunity to gather unprecedented data on some of our most pressing medical issues. This data set has spurred advances in the care of trauma, hemorrhagic shock, traumatic brain i...
Stranded Carnival Cruise Ship's Toilets Are So Full Of Shit They Are Falling Off The Walls, And Other Gross Details From Someone Aboard
Jayme Lamm—freelance sportswriter and proprietor of TheBlondeSide.com—is currently stranded aboard the Carnival Triumph, a cruise ship that has been without power for four days after an engine room fire. We've received sporadic dispatches from her over the past few days via text message, and she's ...
Just How Many Women Are Naked On The Internet? A Back-Of-The-Envelope Calculation
Oh, hello! And welcome to the now-weekly LIVE edition of the Deadspin Funbag. We'll do this every Thursday right around 1 p.m. and go until 3pm. To submit a question to the live Funbag, you gotta post down in the bowels of the discussion section below. It is there, and only there, where your questio...
Let's All Watch Marco Rubio's Panicked Drink Of Water In Extreme Slow Motion
It was the swig heard 'round the world. Florida senator Marco Rubio, tasked with delivering the official Republican response to President Obama's State of the Union address, found himself parched and distant from the necessary tool to quench that burning fire. In other words, he was thirsty. Usual...
Tuesday Night Fights: Four Ladies, One Elevator Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "quebra pau no elevador." Tonight's commentator: Emma Carmichael. (Coming next week: Redneck action, yo.)...
Your Grammys Live Blog
The Grammys are usually more entertaining than the Oscars. They're shorter. People aren't afraid to dress poorly. There are fewer tradesman awards that no one gives a shit about. There are few, if any, montages. The music is better. And people don't spend months and months analyzing the choice of h...
Watch <i>Seinfeld</i> Slowed Down And Try Not To Die Laughing
Jerry's high-pitched nasal voice still shines through, but it's got a little drunk-guy-in-the-corner-of-the-bar-talking-to-no-one-in-particular vibe to it now that it's been slowed down. A tip of the cap to Samer's friend who does not use Twitter for bringing this to our attention....
Donut Flavors, Ranked
I don't think I'm alone in having a love-hate relationship with donuts. In a perfect world, I would be able to eat all the donuts I like. In this one, I have to wrestle with the fact that donuts are among the worst things I could ever ingest, somewhere between baby back ribs and C-4. A box of donuts...
Tuesday Night Fights: Philly Stripper Ogles Exotic-Dancer Brouhaha, Assesses Blame
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: the since-deleted "Strippers Fight Over A Dollar." Tonight's commentator: Anna, dancer at Penthouse Club Philly and aspiring Eagles columnist and Flyers fan who just bo...
Could Beyoncé Have Performed At Halftime With Diarrhea?
Before we get into this week's Funbag, a quick announcement: The last Jamboroo of the season posts on Thursday. So starting next week, there will be TWO Funbags a week. There will be the usual Tuesday Funbag. And then, every Thursday, there will be a LIVE Funbag. We'll do this all the way through to...
Live Los Angeles Police Standoff Features Suspect Doing Whippit After Whippit [UPDATE: Video Highlights]
This is amazing. A slow-speed Los Angeles car chase that began as a DUI pursuit appears to have stalled, as the suspect sits in his car, filling up balloon after balloon from a canister, then inhaling the contents. He's surrounded by police with guns drawn....
New Hampshire Man Can't Get His 27 Orphaned Bear Cubs To Go The Hell To Sleep
You know what's not easy? Taking care of 27 orphaned bear cubs. Sure, bear cubs are cute and furry, and helping to keep them alive probably fills one with a warming sense of accomplishment, but all that good stuff fades away when the bears won't stop fidgeting and just fucking go to sleep already....