deadspinxy Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cockblocked By Anti-Semitism!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Chicagoan "Nordic Thunder" Is Your Air Guitar World Champion
Finally, the Air Guitar World Championship has been returned to the US of A. Not since Craig "Hot Lixx Hulahan" Billmeier took the Golden Axe in 2008 has an American proudly stood above the world's best. Not until Justin Howard, better known to mortals as Nordic Thunder, took the prize this week a...

How Joe Redner Invented The Lap Dance, Built A Strip-Club Empire, Became A Model Citizen, Fought For Your Rights, And Beat Cancer
Plenty in Tampa have said it or at least thought it over the years: mayors and newspaper columnists, city council members and cops, the street preachers who'd picket his business, the television callers who'd threaten his life. But last August this was no longer a question of morality. Joe Redner re...

Tuesday Night Fights: Some Notes On Cabbie Violence, From An Atlantic City Jitney Driver
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Mass Fight TAXI Driver Punches Passenger." Tonight's commentator: Atlantic City's @JitneyGuy, who cruises the seaside resort with a motto of "You Drink, I Drive! For A...

Biloxi Beach Bros Don't Care Isaac Is Coming, They're Too Busy Air-Humping An NBC Reporter
Isaac's finally found his seat upgrade, and is heading to assault the Gulf Coast with actual hurricane-force winds. While FEMA stands ready and second-tier-couldn't-get-the-RNC-gig reporters speak breathlessly from the scene, actual Mississippians don't seem to be letting the whole fuss get to the...

This Is How Relievers Try To Pick Up Ladies Before Ballgames
Say you're a reliever on a newly compelling major league baseball team that rolls into another AL town in the middle of August. Like the Baltimore Orioles' Luis Ayala, for instance. Say you haven't pitched in a few days and you're more bored than you usually are in August, which is very bored. Like ...

FUCK YEAH! IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
Holy shit! It's here! It's finally here! The first day of school! SOMEONE PINCH ME ON THE ASS SO I KNOW IT'S REAL!...

Summer Camp Blowjob Follies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Game Over: <em>Nintendo Power</em> To Cease Publishing After 24 Years
There was some surprising news today when we learned that Nintendo Power magazine was shutting down after 24 years of publication, according to Ars Technica and one of the magazine's senior editors (albeit somewhat cryptically). It was sad for me, personally, because before Sports Illustrated and ...

Tuesday Night Fights: The Dead Milkmen's Rodney Anonymous Learns Who Kenny Chesney Is From Watching A Concert Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Brawl at Concert 2012." Tonight's commentator: Rodney Anonymous, frontman of The Dead Milkman and semi-regular TNF review artist....

Rhino Fart Just Demolishes Morning Newscast
Hoo boy, if you weren't watching Kickin' It With Kenny on today's Fox 8 Cleveland news, you missed out. Never fear: here's the moment when mama rhino Kibibbi let fly during her morning hosedown. That's 1.3 tons of rhino rumbling your speakers and sending reporter Kenny Crumpton into a giggle fit f...

What Is The World's Greatest Pasta Shape? Or, Why Linguine Is Bullshit
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering roaches, revolutions, jizz nutritional values, and more. ...

Is This The Most Terrifying Weather Alert In The History Of Television?
It's midnight. You're snug in your Nashville bed, or maybe on the sofa with your lips wrapped around a crack pipe, I don't know, but whatever excuse you have for watching Jimmy Fallon, that's it....

Cockblocked By Pot Brownies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Specially Contoured Jeans Designed To Combat Scourge Of "Hockey Ass"
So, here's a real product you can buy that I never thought warranted existence. The hockey apparel-minded folks at Gongshow announced this one back in January, but it has just released its new Hustle & Flow jeans, an otherwise ordinary-looking pair of pants that serve a very specific purpose. We'll ...

Throwing Up Dip And Learning About Blowjobs: Deadspin's Notes On Summer Camp
I went to Camp Deerhorn in Rhinelander, Wis., every summer for the majority of my adolescence. It was an awesome camp. We got to fire guns. We got to shoot arrows. We got to go on horseback rides. (I’ve never shit my pants with more direct force than the first time I was on a horse and it went from ...

The 10 Rules Of Pimping, As Written By An Actual (Alleged) Pimp
Steven McDaniel, of Long Island, NY, was arrested and charged today with running a prostitution and heroin ring. Among the items seized by police was a handwritten list of the "Rule's 2 Da Game of Hoez!!!" Thanks to the Smoking Gun, we proudly present that list, quite sic'd....

Red Sox (And Pants) Collapsing In Wake Of Johnny Pesky's Death
Reader Brendan sent this to us from outside Fenway Park last night. Sure, there was no Sox game but a Springsteen concert there last night—how could a sports fan ever know?—but we assume this dude neither knew nor cared....

A Lady You All Know And Love Examines An Alley Brawl Between Ladies Who Seemingly Hate One Another
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "GIRL FIGHT IN MARISSA ILL." Tonight's commentator: Emma Carmichael, former Deadspinner, current managing editor of Gawker....