deadspinxy Page 25 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sippy Cups Can Go To Hell
I'm going to a wedding this weekend and I noticed that, as you grow older, you come full circle on weddings. The first time you go to a wedding in your 20s, you're like, "Oh cool, a wedding! FREE BOOZE AND SHIT!" But then everyone has that one summer where they have to go to eight weddings and by th...
The Time Has Come For America's Flight Attendants To Shut Up
I think we can all agree that the emcee-ization of America's flight attendants has grown steadily worse over the past decade. And today, reader Kurt has sent us (and Gawker) arguably the nadir of flight attendant pep talks. I must warn you in advance that these will be among the two most painfully a...
Norwegian Bears Broke Into A Cabin And Drank 100 Cans Of Beer
Bears. They're terrifying, but they're just like us! Especially the Norwegian ones:...
Chris Kluwe Revels In Watching Ladies Kick The Snot Out Of A "Jizz-Gargling Brosef"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Girls Whoop Dude Ass." Tonight's commentator: friend of Deadspin and Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe....
Is It OK To Watch Your Friend's Sex Tape?
I was horsing around with one of my kids last night and she started doing jumping jacks, so I did a jumping jack too and HOLY SHIT NEVER DO JUMPING JACKS. I forgot that, as you grow older, your balls drop lower and lower. And so doing a jumping jack is basically akin to putting two baseballs in a pl...
Jim Everett Talks About A Fight On Jordanian TV, Middle Eastern History, Plaxico, Taxes And, Yes, Jim Rome
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Jordanian Politician Pulls A Gun On Critic On T.V.." (Action starts about 25 seconds in.) Tonight's commentator: former NFL Pro Bowl quarterback (and current assets ma...
The Olympic Opening Ceremonies Are Pointless And Weak
Given all the controversy Redditors generated last week by hosting a rapist confessional thread, I began to wonder: What would happen if you confessed a phony murder on Reddit? What if got you an anonymous account and then wrote a very long-winded chronicle of the time when you were 18 and stumbled ...
Failure At The Mile High Club
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Drew Magary Breathes Some Common Sense Into A Stand-Your-Ground Courthouse Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Old man got KO power. Osceola, FL Courthouse Brawl Breaks Out." Tonight's commentator: Deadspin columnist Drew Magary....
<em>Appetite For Destruction</em> At 25: Memories From Matt Taibbi, Justine Bateman, And More
Last week, I celebrated the 25th anniversary of Appetite for Destruction by telling the story of the first time I listened to the album. Here's a collection of stories from other writers (and from readers, too) about their experiences with the album. ...
Feeding Seagulls Laxatives Ends Exactly As Expected
This is terrible. If you've ever had a bird shit on you, you know this. It once happened to me, actually—my fault for going to Shea Stadium....
Here Is The Most Insane Review Of <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em> You Will Ever Read
Do you remember those kids in your college literature course who were the absolute worst during discussions? The ones who would make completely off-the-wall statements about even the most straightforward pieces of literature. The ones who would say shit like, "Actually, I think Bartleby The Scriven...
Every Winner Of The Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest, In Descending Order Of How Much They Look Like Ernest Hemingway
Every year, on the third Saturday in July, Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West hosts the Hemingway Look-Alike Society's Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. The 2012 champion will be named tomorrow. We went through 31 years of winners, and ranked them all on how much they look like Ernest Hemingway, starting with...
Don't Leave A Rubber On All Night By Accident
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
<em>Appetite For Destruction</em> At 25: One Horny Young Boy's Recollection
The first kid in my middle school to discover Appetite for Destruction was a big football player named Si. Everyone in my class was terrified of Si because Si was the only kid in our grade who had gotten pubes. You walked into the shower and in the crowd of hairless penises was this big kid with a m...
Fishing Supply Store Called "Master Bait Shop" Causes Adorable Uproar In Small-Town Virginia
We've all been there. And by there, I mean middle school. Michael DeClue, the owner of the Orange County Master Bait Shop ("Home of the Fattest Worm in Town!") Orange, Va., has never left. And thank god for that....
Tuesday Night Fights: A Model Bloodied The Face Of "Godzilla" Outside A Detroit Club
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Girl fight. Me against godzilla," brought to you by "Ms Dawtas." Tonight's commentator: Windsor, a professional model, actress and "The Blonde One In The Blue Dress."...
Is The Name "Le-a" (Pronounced "Ledasha") An Urban Legend? Probably.
I wrote a Dadspin post about stupid baby names last week, and whenever I write about baby names, I inevitably get scores of emails featuring the same dubious story. Here is one such example:...
Presenting One Of History's Great Walks Of Shame
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse
My wife has a subscription to Parents magazine, and the fun thing about Parents magazine is that every issue is virtually identical. Whether you pick up the June 2008 issue or the March 2012 issue, you're still getting all the same shit, including items like "567 fun knitting crafts to help stave of...