deadspinxy Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The IRQ Car Decal: Noble Or Horrible?
I hate Euro Decals. HATE THEM. They are the fucking scourge of the highways: one goddamn SUV after another with some precious OBX circle sticker planted somewhere above the trunk handle. People like slapping Euro decals on their car because they like letting you know where they spend their leisure t...
Bronze Medal Ping Pong GOD Bravely Resigns From Goldman Sachs
By now, you may have already heard of Greg Smith, an executive director at Goldman Sachs who resigned his post today, and did so the way all filthy rich people do: via New York Times op-ed. And the greatest thing about Smith's editorial is that he manages to tuck his entire resume into the column:...
Of Course Someone Captured Footage Of This Street-Fighting Lesbian Couple
Per YouTuber kingnothing3rd, "My GF and I met this lesbian couple at the club and we were going to go to the next one with them."...
Today In An Angry White Guy Totally Tried To Crash A Bus When It Missed His Stop News
"According to deputies Robert Galantine, 49, grabbed the steering wheel twice while the bus was moving in an apparent attempt to get the driver to exit the freeway. Galantine reportedly believed the driver was supposed to exit and demanded he get off the freeway, Chacon told the OC Register. During...
Tooth Fairy Inflation Will Leave You Dead And Broke
My kid lost her first tooth a while back. The tooth was a stubborn little bastard, sitting there wiggling for weeks before finally breaking away from her gums and dangling there by a small thread of connective tissue. My kid refused to give the tooth one final yank to get it out, which drove me nuts...
European Women's Chess Tournament Bans Excessive Cleavage
The introduction of a dress code limiting the cleavage of lady chess players at first seems repressive....
DadBoner Unmasked: Cracking The Internet's Biggest Mystery
Last week, we chronicled our efforts to find out the comic mastermind behind the great DadBoner twitter feed, an effort that was met with resistance by certain fans of the feed and by Karl Welzein himself, not to mention his fictional wife Ann Welzein. But that didn't stop tipsters from flooding us ...
Cockblocked By Cancer!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. ...
A Bowler Hat Makes You Look Like A Circumcised Penis, And Other Style Tips You Won't Find In <em>GQ</em>
GQ's resident style expert Glenn O'Brien gets some rather interesting questions every month from his readers. So we thought we would have our own Drew Magary (who is also a freelance contributor to GQ) answer some of those questions himself. All questions submitted to GQ's Style Guy are anonymous, b...
Hot On The Trail Of Twitter's DadBoner, The Internet's Greatest Mystery
Bold flavors. Power moves. Chest beefers. A thousand beers, you guys. If any of those references are familiar to you, then you're probably one of the over 52,000 people who follow the DadBoner Twitter feed, which is probably the best Twitter feed ever written by an imaginary middle-aged Michigan man...
So This Is What It Looks Like When Russian Prostitutes Fight In The Street
It is a sad day for all of humanity when трех проституток cannot resolve their grievances via non-violent means. As such, last week — or whenever this was filmed — cracked open a sad day for all of humanity....
42 "Pussy" Shots For £126! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Epic £203,948.80 Bar Tab From A Liverpool Nightclub
Where to begin with this epic bar tab (full version at the bottom)? It's so single-minded, so devoid of nuance. I hate it. When Petchesky first directed my attention to this abomination, which was posted a few places yesterday, I thought it could only belong to one man—Don Johnson, the "champagne ki...
Wait, Chris Berman Gave How Much Money To Joe Lieberman?!
Your letters:...
Ice Cube Ruins It For Everyone, Says There Was No One Particular "Good Day"
Back in January, we brought you two competing theories about the origins of Ice Cube's "It Was a Good Day." One intrepid blogger argued persuasively that Cube's good day was January 20, 1992. But another blogger debunked his case and brought in evidence from Behind the Music. He determined that Cu...
Great Moments In Group Sex Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, You're Fucked: 10 Tips For Avoiding Terrible Children's Books
As you may have heard, Jan Berenstain, the lady who co-created the Berenstain Bears series, died this week. And it’s measure of how bad those books are that some people wasted no time dancing on her grave. Now, it’s incredibly crass and rude to rip into a poor old woman who just died. But those book...
Man Accused Of Assaulting Three People With A Clock Channels Hulk Hogan For TV Reporter
Seth O'Donnell of Scottsdale, Pa., is accused of beating three people, including his mother, last week with a mantel clock. His preliminary hearing yesterday was delayed, but outside the proceeding he had a little message for all you Hulkamaniacs out there....
Babies Are Stupid
This is the baby's idea of a game: He keeps trying to throw himself off the couch, headfirst. It's completely intentional. I sit him upright, and he looks me in the eye, holds my gaze, grins—and then pitches over sideways. I grab him, reel him back in, and straighten him up, and he grins again and t...
Son Narcs On His 260-Pound Mom For Banging His 15-Year-Old Friend
"When her teenage son caught her having sex with his 15-year-old friend and the son reported the incident to school officials, Terri Mezzatesta came up with a wild story, police said. Mezzatesta, who is 5 feet 9 and 260 pounds, claimed that she was passed out drunk and unaware that the 15-year-old ...