deadspinxy Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Street Fighting Gal Has The Courtesy To Remove Her Ring, And The Power To Fell Her Foe
Here we have Kristin and Dee, doing battle after a substantial build up, Outsiders-esque in a greasers and socs descend on the playground sense. The ladies work out some ground rules. The fans point droves of cameraphones in their direction....
Important Tips For Going Back In Time And Preventing 9/11
Your letters:...
Former Cal QB Sets Paper-Airplane World Record
Joe Ayoob succeeded Aaron Rodgers as Cal's starting quarterback in 2005. Ayoob's tenure lasted for just one season, during which he threw for nearly as many interceptions (14) as touchdowns (15), and the following year he was replaced as the Bears' starter. Turns out Ayoob has more of a paper arm. ...
Deadspin's Top 10 Movies Of 2011
For many years, prior to the Oscar nominations, the boy from Mattoon and his friend Tim have put on their Ebert t-shirts and run down their personal best movies the year. It's cute. Sometimes I chime in. My list is below....
Cockblocked By Kim Jong Il!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Sick Children Are Where Good Food Goes To Die
There's a half a bowl of Top Ramen sitting in my kitchen right now. It's gorgeous. The broth is warm. The noodles are all soft and crimpy. It's just begging me to eat it. It's just aching for me to take it into the coat closet and do VILE, DISGUSTING things to it....
HOLY SHIT DISINTEGRATING HELICOPTER
In Brazil, helicopters are apparently built with the same structural frequency as the rotors' mechanical resonance. Or something, since I just made that up. [via Daily Telegraph]...
The Hater's Guide To The 2012 Academy Awards
Ah, the Academy Awards. To give you a firm understanding of just how awful the Oscars are, consider this: This is the only entity in the universe that considers the inclusion of Billy Crystal to be an act of salvation. If they told you they were going to try and fix all the gaping plot holes of The ...
The Small Child/Hockey Enforcer Fight Dynamic Has Spread From NHL To Skate Park
What we have here is not all that dissimilar to the great Derek "Blue Jacket" Dorsett vs. John "Blackhawk" Scott Ice Brawl of Feb. 18, that being small guy tempting his fisticuffs fate with big guy....
The Guy Whose Neighbor Got Arrested For Eating Cats Had Some Interesting Things To Say
Per Bakersfield Now's report: "I heard a cat cry. It was a weird cry, real loud," neighbor Joe Nuno said. "I smelled cooking. It smelled like some awful meat."...
They Blew Up A Bridge Today
Ah yes, the old Fort Steuben Bridge, spanning the Ohio River on the West Virginia/Ohio border. No more: they blew it up this morning. Or imploded it, to use proper bridge-blowing-up terminology. The Ohio DOT was there to film the occasion, and then replay it in slow motion. Good job, bridge-blower...
Does Being Named "Ashley" Make You Hot? An Unscientific Study
Before we get to the Funbag, a quick programming note: I'm gonna be liveblogging the Oscars over at Gawker on Sunday night. We'll be plumbing depths of bitchiness heretofore unimaginable, so stop by if you feel like it. To your letters:...
The Diary Of A Man With The Stomach Flu
One of my main goals in life is to make it through an entire winter without getting sick, and I was so, so very close this time around. The mild winter combined with the flu shot and my wife's demands that I wash my hands 9,000 times a day—to the point where the skin has been stripped away from my h...
And Now For Your U.K. Weather, Where The Forecast Is "Bucketloads Of Cunt"
This is from Alex Deakin's 10:00 weather report last night on BBC 1, which forecast near-freezing temperatures in southern England and frost warnings in Scotland, northern England and parts of Wales....
Cockblocked By Pop Geography Quizzes!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Children's Music Will Destroy Your Good Taste Forever; Or, How I Came To Like Kidz Bop
I have two kids, and so I have to listen to lots of kids' music. Horrible, awful, miserable kids' music. Almost all of it is complete dogshit. All of the songs from Dora are horrible. All of the songs from Thomas the Tank Engine are puke. And whoever wrote the Bond-style songs for Special Agent Oso ...
Half-Headed Guy From That One Mugshot Films "Drugness And Driving" PSA While Smoking A Blunt
We first told you about the half-headed man a little more than a year ago, when his bust in Miami for soliciting a prostitute produced the most bizarre mug shot of all time. The Miami New Times has been trying to track him down to tell his story ever since, and they've learned he's been arrested fo...
When Valentine's Day Role-Playing Games Involving Public Nudity and Duct Tape Go Awry
"A Portland (Oregon) couple was jailed for disorderly conduct Tuesday after a role playing incident led witnesses to believe a woman was being held against her will in a car. ... Witnesses reported seeing a Subaru Legacy leaving the parking lot with a naked female who was tied up in the back with d...
Someone Just Tried To Disrupt The Best In Show Judging At Madison Square Garden
We have practically no information about this, other than that a woman with a sign tried to rush the stage as Best In Show was about to be announced at the Westminster Kennel Club show at Madison Square Garden. Twitter rumors say the sign said something about PETA, but we don't really have any con...
Fifty-Something College Student Can't Fathom Why His "Hot-For-Teacher" Essay Upset His Hot Teacher
Joseph Corlett is 56 years old. And Joseph Corlett attends Oakland University in Rochester, Mich. Well, he did attend that esteemed academy. Seems as if the university elders and others just didn't get an essay he wrote for "Advanced Critical Writing" class....