deadspinxy Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Puppy On Freeway Makes For Most Adorable Police Chase Ever
A puppy—allegedly a Yorkie—escaped from the back of a vehicle that had been a part of a rollover crash on the freeway in Tempe, Ariz., on Wednesday. Because it's Friday, we set video of the ensuing police chase to NWA's "Fuck Tha Police" in an attempt to make the baddest Yorkie alive even badder. ...
Never Badmouth Tom Brady During A Blowjob
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
There Were Some Problems At A Chuck E. Cheese Near Detroit This Weekend
Per the MyFoxDetroit story on this weekend's misdeeds at the Southgate, Mich. Chuck E. Cheese, 60-year-old Carol Brown got jumped during a birthday party for her 3- and 5-year-old grandsons....
If You Want To Get Your Two-Year-Old Drunk, Try The Hibachi Place In Jackson Twp., Ohio
"Two-year-old Karl Preusser, Jr. was with his parents and their friends Friday evening, enjoying a night out at the Wasabi Japanese Steakhouse, a hibachi style restaurant where the cook prepares the meal in front of a table of guests. ... 'He asked K.J. if he was 21 and K.J. said yes and opened his...
Biggest Presidential Penis: WHO YA GOT?!
Before we get to the Funbag this week, I'm in Brooklyn for a Gelf Magazine thing on Thursday if you feel like going. It's at Pacific Standard. Afterwards, we can all get drunk and watch Tebow run the T formation against the Jets. Also, I'll be at the National Press Club book fair tonight signing boo...
Don Johnson, The Champagne King And The Beast Of Blackjack, Has Once Again Punished An Atlantic City Casino
After a few months of suspiciously restrained behavior, blackjack savant Don Johnson has returned. He was spotted in October in Atlantic City stuffing fistfuls of casino chips into his gullet. Just grinding them up between his world-class molars. No, I made that up. He was actually cashing in fistfu...
Give A Hoot, Don't Pollute Your Insides With A Rat
"A white owl was seen chowing down on an unfortunate rodent right on the edge of the crossbar in the Metropolitan Stadium." The meal took place at halftime of an eventual tie between Colombia and Venezuela in a South American World Cup qualifier. Oh, and there's video, too. ...
Bam! Pig Humping A Cow!
I have no idea if this will actually work, but if it does make babies, I want to eat them....
Never Let Your Hookup Overhear Her Mom Having Sex
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
There's More Action In 3:53 Of Tuscaloosa Tailgate Brawling Than In The Alabama/LSU Game It Preceded
A little late to the game with this week's Fights and/or Boobs inbrawlment, but hell, Alabama/LSU was the Game of the Century, and it's worth taking our collective minds off Jerry Sandusky for a spell, right?...
"Giggly Giggly Girl" Celebrates Weight Loss With "Jiggly Jiggly" Video
Congratulations on reaching your goal, lady in the rainbow wig who made this video. You are to be commended....
Is PSU The Biggest Sports Scandal In Modern History?
There was a cave cricket in my basement last night. They're horrible, nasty creatures that have +8 jumping ability. You have to act FAST in order to exterminate the little cocksuckers and protect your family, and so I quickly pinned him against the wall with a toy rocking chair and he was all mangle...
How Many Times Have We Farted In Human History? A Very Rough Calculation
I was sitting next to my friend on a bus the other day. He farted. It got us thinking: How many farts have there been in human history?...
Cockblocked By Rugby!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Alex Trebek Suggests Jeopardy Contestant Is Kinky After She Provides This Sexy Wrong Response
Kara Spak is a reporter for Chicago's Sun-Times, but she turned a September Jeopardy! appearance into a side career when she won five straight games and pocketed $85,401. The feat earned her an appearance on tonight's episode of the always-popular "Tournament of Champions," and this answer in the ...
Candy Thief Gets Absolutely Trucked While Running From Cops
Via local news connoisseur Jimmy Traina comes this breaking post-Halloween news out of Phoenix. A group of young men had been stealing candy from grocery stores to the tune of hundreds of dollars, until police pulled them over. One man ran, hiding on the rooftops. Then: pepper spray, a slippery ca...
Watch Three Young Men Throw Punches In A Heated Battle For Sexy-Nurse Girl's Love
In this installment of random fights across America, three shirtless bros wield fists in an effort to win the affections of a near-shirtless "sexy nurse girl" at a Halloween party in Isla Vista, Cal. Granted, there's nothing to indicate that girl was wearing anything resembling a nurse's uni. But ...
A Lesson In Dealing With Friends Who Suck At The Internet
Your letters:...
The FBI Now Considers The Juggalos A "Loosely-Organized Hybrid Gang"
The annual National Gang Threat Assessment, released yesterday by the FBI, classifies our friends the Juggalos as a "loosely-organized hybrid gang" that is "forming more organized subsets and engaging in more gang-like criminal activity." The grouping ranks them as a kind of junior varsity version o...