deadspinxy Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is A Photo Of What One Lady Says Are Two Ghosts Fucking In Her House
Time once again to play everybody’s favorite game: Florida or Ohio? It’s Ohio....

Man Not Named Lee Corso Gets Stuck Inside A Tree
"It's unknown why the man climbed into the hole near the base of the tree" but luckily for us, he did. Maybe he picked Stanford to win, too....

This Is What Happens When Old Drunk Alumni Trash And Poop A Vanderbilt Frat House On Homecoming To The Tune Of $12,000
Vanderbilt held its homecoming weekend last week, and as is tradition, the fraternities hosted alumni brothers for a Saturday night party. At Sigma Alpha Epsilon, they are still surveying the damage....

Cockblocked On Halloween!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Visanthe Shiancoe Had His Own Bombs Bursting In Air Before Sunday's Packers-Vikings Game
Vikings TE Visanthe Shiancoe let his patriotism, and breakfast, shine Sunday before Minnesota's matchup with Green Bay. He even had the courtesy to warn bystanders—something about which he's been especially concerned in the past. [NFL]...

The Toilet That Allows You To Go Number One, Number Two, Or Shoot For Three
It's a "slam dump," but you might want to watch your dribble beyond the arc. [Reddit, via Curbed; h/t to Evan G.]...

There's Finally Proof That Laundry Detergent Is An Effective Lubricant
"At about 6 a.m., a groundskeeper of Blue Rock Springs Park heard a man screaming when he arrived at work. He then called the police to investigate. Upon arrival, police found a 21-year-old man stuck in a child's swing, which has two leg holes. The man told police that he had been stuck in the swin...

This Is What Happens When Things Get Real At The Tuscaloosa Waffle House
"Investigators have determined that the fight was linked to an August robbery, [Tuscaloosa Police Department spokesman Sgt. Brent ] Blankley said. ... The camera that captured the fight on video was turned on after security in the restaurant made the parties involved leave the building. Blankley s...

A Call For The Abolition Of The Tomato Slice In Sandwiches
Your letters:...

Not The Bees!
A sun-blocking cloud of 25 million bees shut down a Utah highway after a bee-laden semi overturned. Bees....

A Lesson In Failed Woman Juggling
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

German Adventurer May Or May Not Have Been Eaten By A Fugitive Cannibal In The South Pacific
This much is certain: 40-year-old Stefan Ramin's ashes were found near a cooking fire on the island of Nuku Hiva, in French Polynesia, last week. From there, uncertainty emerges....

Presenting Fight Night From The Denny's In Binghamton, NY
Writes amateur filmmaker twall0313 of this slice of Americana he opted to share with the world, "Two guys get into a fight at a Denny's in Binghamton, New York, right outside of Binghamton University. It happened around 4am and it was awesome."...

This Week In Frozen Armadillo Attack News
"According to investigators, the altercation occurred when the suspect was selling the carcass to the victim, who planned to eat the animal. The pair apparently began arguing over the price of the item when the man twice threw the armadillo at the woman. The animal first struck the woman in the leg...

The Lingerie Football League Hopes Michael Jackson's Daughter Will Help Develop "Future LFL Athletes"
Somehow, somebody at world headquarters of a football league with a fan base comprised, mostly, of dudes who like watching women in bra-and-sport-panties uniforms partake in jiggly rough-housing stroked their inspiration wand and chanted something to the tune of, "We can be an inspirational entity ...

Happy Halloween! Meet The Human Centipede Pumpkin
We here at Deadspin are great fans of the Human Centipede series of films—the second of which hit theaters a week and a half ago. And we're also great fans of Halloween, or something. So when some reader—in this case Adam K., of lovely Wrightsville Beach, NC—sends us a Human Centipede-carved pumpkin...

Won't You Help The Man With The 100-Pound Scrotum?
The Las Vegas Review-Journal today brings us the heartbreaking story of one Wesley Warren Jr., who just three years ago possessed a scrotum as normally sized as yours or mine. (Click here for video.) But something happened, something doctors can't explain. Suffering from scrotal elephantiasis, Warr...

Strip-Search Demanded At World Scrabble Championship To Find Letter "G"
It may come as news to most of the universe that the World Scrabble Championships took place last week, and ended yesterday when Nigel Richards of New Zealand defeated Aussie Andrew Fisher, 3-2. Richards ended the five-day tournament with 95 points on the word "omnified"—which, as proof that humans ...

Steven Seagal Will Keep America Safe From Invading Mexicans
"Seagal, 59, was sworn in this week as the Hudspeth County Sheriff's Office newest deputy. The sheriff's office said he'll be working full time to help secure the U.S.-Mexico border. 'It became very clear to me that Mr. Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or the publicity,' Sheriff Arvin West s...