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Canned Beer Is The Best Beer
Although I've recently moved into an apartment with three ceiling fans, seven windows, and a bedroom door, I do not consider myself a wealthy man. But every Thursday, my wife comes into a little bit of money, and if I time the transaction just right, I can occasionally buy something useful before sh...
We're Down To The Mean 16: Round 3 Of The Bitchy Bracket
So you, the public, have pared down the Bitchy Bracket to a lean and mean 16. And like real NCAA brackets, this is where the big boys start clobbering at each with giant-sized Hulk fists....
Who Will Be The Bitchy Cinderella? Round 2 Of The Bitchy Bracket Begins
So the first round of the Bitchy Bracket is done, and we're ready to move on to the second round of voting. Before starting in on voting, though, let's take a brief look at the first-round results, which saw all sorts of touchy fanboys knocked off, including some that, honestly, deserved less respec...
How To Make Sausage Gravy, And Shave A Few Years Off Your Lifespan
Sausage gravy is deeply, deeply disreputable food. In its typical presentation, slopped across biscuits in some charmingly run-down roadside diner with Patsy Cline playing on the jukebox, it is, in essence, flour on flour, dressed up as actual sustenance by the inclusion of token quantities of butte...
Sorcery And Witchcraft: How To Fold A Fitted Sheet
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check The Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her. ...
How To Organize Your Spices Without Driving Yourself Crazy
Before we do this thing, we need to do a bit of expectation management: Because Foodspin is a site about food, and not a site about design or style, the focus of these tips will be on function over form. If you want to achieve one of those picture-perfect spice displays, head to Pinterest for ideas....
Quit Bitchin', Start Voting: Round 1 Of The Bitchy Bracket Continues
Read the intro here and start voting below. You have until 11 a.m. EDT tomorrow. Vote for the other half of Round 1 here....
Who Are The Bitchiest, Most Defensive Fans In America?
Not long ago, our Billy Haisley wrote a post shitting on Major League Soccer. When you rip on American soccer, you can rest assured that a tidal bore of American soccer fanboy defensiveness is headed your way. It's almost as if they're all huddled together outside your house, waiting behind the shr...
A March Madness Pool Scoring System That Doesn't Suck
Before we get to today's Funbag, a quick bit of news: I'll be singing the U.S. and Canadian anthems tonight at the Raptors-Hawks game in Atlanta. I've also taken over the Hawks' official Twitter feed (@ATLHawks) for the day. Or at least until they kick me off. So join me today for MAXIMUM HAWKITU...
How To Make Linguine With Clams And Bid Farewell To This Goddamn Winter
Groundhog meteorologists notwithstanding, seasons are shapeless, poorly defined things. To wit: Traditionally, in North America, the "winter" season is regarded as beginning at some point in the back half of December (the solstice) and extending into the back half of the following March (the equino...
Irish Beers, Ranked
St. Patrick's Day is tough on a civic-minded, humanist boozebag. I love New Year's Eve and Thanksgiving Morning and Arbor Weekend and all the other "amateur hours" that too many self-proclaimed sophisticates haughtily dismiss, but Paddy's Day comes soaked with complications beyond the rivers of glit...
31 Buddy-Cop Clichés On <em>True Detective</em>
I really liked True Detective, and by the end of last night's wildly entertaining (and fucking terrifying) season finale, it became clear that the show is, at heart, your standard buddy-cop movie. It just happened to be brilliantly crafted, impeccably acted, stretched out to eight hours, and riddle...
Let's Try Chips Ahoy! Ice Cream Creations, A Dessert-Flavored Dessert
Remember ice cream? Oh man, ice cream. There are so many wonderful things to remember about ice cream, but first and foremost—more than the carnival of flavors and colors; the various zany, luxurious toppings and swirls; the fun presentations (Sundae! Banana split! Ice cream cone! Ice cream cak...
How To Get Your Kid's Marker Stains Out Of The Goddamn Couch
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
Please Stop Glorifying Crummy Dive Bars
I live in Massachusetts, which is a proud but anxious state with liberal policies regarding who can get married or call his roast beef famous and very conservative rules concerning most other types of personal behavior. For example, it's a lot harder than you'd think to get a drink around here....
This Was Just The Saddest Burger King Burglary
Philadelphia police are seeking information on the two men in this video, who allegedly broke into a Burger King last month. They should be considered drunk and extremely incompetent....
Confessions Of A Nail-Biter
My mom suspended her college education in order to have kids, and so I was five years old when she finally received her bachelor's degree. We drove down to her school for a tasteful graduation luncheon. I remember they had free soda. At some point, while my mom was mingling with her classmates, I...
Terrible Paper Delivery Guy Caught In The Act
Reader John emailed us some video he shot of his parents' paper delivery guy in action and he is just the worst at delivering the paper. He is so bad that John trailed and filmed him for three minutes just to prove it. ...
Would You Rather Have A Celebrity Autograph Or A Celebrity Selfie?
I was at an intersection on a six lane road the other day and I had to make a left. So in the opposite lane nearest to me, a Good Samaritan stopped to let me turn. The problem was that she was basically asking me to commit suicide, because motorists in the next two lanes over gave the zeroest of f...