deadspinxy Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Calgary's List Of Most Wanted Fugitives Includes Mr. Dakota Neil Weasel Head
This man is on the loose for failure to comply. This man, according to the Vancouver Sun, is Dakota Neil Weasel Head. He's made Calgary Crime Stoppers' list of the city's top 13 fugitives. (No word on whether Jay Feaster made the list, too)....
Envisioning The Death Of The NBA
I have a lingering personal defect, which is that I always, without fail, overestimate the power of both staplers and hole punchers. If I have a stack of 50 pages that I need stapled and I see a tinyass Swingline stapler and I'm like, "NO PROBLEMO." Then I go to staple the pages together and the sta...
Massachusetts-Area Idiots Fly Jolly Roger Atop Tiny Fishing Vessel, Try And Fail To Rob Sailboat While Owner Sleeps
Piracy is real, y'all. East Africa? Hornet's nest. Caribbean? Same deal. But the North Shore of Boston might be the worst of the bunch. Here are the obnoxious news ledes mocking this terribly serious crime:...
This Is What It Looked Like When Heinz Field Became The Home Of The Gotham Rogues
As mentioned in Wake Up Deadspin, "The Dark Knight Rises" production took over Heinz Field, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, today. They called for about 10,000 extras and some Steelers, including newly married Ben Roethlisberger, were expected to be on camera....
Cockblocked By J.R. Smith!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Like images of Jesus on pancakes, toast and frying pans, reflections of the Virgin Mary in windows, or a Leprechaun sighting in an Alabama tree, dongs are all around us....
Let's Watch Larissa Riquelme "Compete" In Some Sort Of "Reggaeton Dance Contest"
Last night, Paraguay Cell Phone Girl Larissa Riquelme sent out a link called "Así concluyó el duelo de reggaetón" via Twitter. The loose translation is "Thus ended the duel of reggaetón." She's not wearing much, ends up with a belt looped around her neck and gets high marks from the judges. So the...
Today Was The Day "Mandingo Cock Deasel" Became An American Hero
His name is Eddie Evans. His superpower is rescuing his fellow man from a burning car at a Chevron gas station in DeKalb County, Ga. His choice of attire is what makes him the Stuff Of Legend....
How To React To Bad Dreams Like A Total Pussy
I had a nightmare the other night. Usually, this isn't anything noteworthy. Everyone has the occasional nightmare, and then shakes it off and goes back to bed. Or masturbates to get the demons out and THEN goes back to bed. Sex cures fear, I tell you....
Some People Don't See The Humor In Bears Drinking Vodka For Human Entertainment
Per Reuters Life!, Ukraine's Environment Minister Mykola Zlochevsky told Interfax, "On television, they keep showing bears suffering in restaurants and roadside hotels. How long can we tolerate animal torture in restaurants where drunken guests make bears drink vodka for laughs?"...
Novak Djokovic Performed A Goofy "Little Serbian Dance" With Jay Leno And Katie Holmes Last Night
This video of world No. 1 tennis player Novak Djokovic's appearance on Jay Leno's still-breathing program last night is nine minutes and 15 seconds long. Do yourself a favor: Skip the first seven minutes, to when he starts talking about the celebration that commenced among his team of fellow trave...
Here's Video Of A Brawl During The Dolphin Show At A Russian Oceanarium
We've presented you with a lot of fights and/or boobs for your viewing pleasure. This is probably the first instance of a dolphin-witnessed fracas in an "oceanarium," though. Flipper shouldn't be subjected to this half-assed take on The Outsiders, but we should....
The Official Deadspin Guide To Booger Growth
I built a new PC this weekend, and by "I built it" I mean I stood there while my brother-in-law, who knows a lot about computers, assembled it. I probably should have washed the Sun Chips cheese powder off my hands before touching the processor. It's very cool to sit there for a day and take a look ...
Yes, Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Still Registered For A Few Things At Crate & Barrel
Prior to the recent love-on-the-rocks update that Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler and reality someone-or-other Kristin Cavallari chose not to become man and wife after all, friends and well-wishers pretty much hit everything the couple asked for on their Crate & Barrel registry....
Pussyblocked By Jealous Male Suitors!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
It's Not The Heat, It's The Humididong
Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less....
This Is How Gruesome It Looks When A Sword Gets Embedded In Someone's Head (NSFW)
Zhang Bin is a 15-year-old boy from China. Zhang Bin can also now tell people what it feels like to have a sword embedded in your forehead and get the hospital runaround before undergoing successful surgery....
Presenting A School-Kid Reenactment Of The Saddest Scene In Movie History
As you may have already heard, that scene in "The Champ" when T.J. (young Ricky Schroder) weeps over his father (Jon Voight) Billy's body after a boxing match turned fatal is the scientifically proven saddest movie scene ever....
In The War Between An Angry Ginger And Aspiring Ultimate Fighter, The Ginger Won With A Kill-Shot
The St. Petersburg Times's "Man accused of beating to death aspiring 'ultimate fighter' at Zephyrhills party" headline comes nowhere near telling the whole story of Samuel Smith's death (allegedly) at the ruddy hands of Richard Starks Jr....
24 Hours At Comic Con
The thing about Comic Con is that, underneath all the geeky costumes and all that other fanboy bullshit, it's still very much a convention. It takes place in a nondescript convention hall that's roughly the size of the Pentagon. The panels take place in big depressing conference rooms that look very...