deadspinxy Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There Is A New World's Shortest Man; Say Hi To 23.6-Inch Junrey, Everybody
This is an 18 year-old. We have to admit that we're a little baffled. He's from the Philippines, too, so you know it's only a matter of time before he fights Manny Pacquiao on national television while literally everyone in the nation watches....

Tired Of Horse Racing? Consider Cow Cycling
This comes to us from France's Critérium du Dauphiné, one of this month's warm-ups for the Tour de France. There are a lot of climbs in the course, and, well, these cows saw one that looked like fun and figured they'd join in. Could they beat the horses that ran in the Belmont? Shittier horses? Wh...

Great Moments In Horrible Sexual Faux Pas
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Why Men Send Dong Shots To People
We've all had a good laugh about Anthony Weiner using his Twitter account to show the world that white Congressmen can have surprisingly decent-sized cocks. And we here at Deadspin have gotten a great deal of mileage out of men who, in fit of passion, decided to take pictures of their dicks and send...

Ohio Police Capture Drunken Local Werewolf
People of the greater Cleveland area, we get it. You miss LeBron and you're upset that he might win a championship. Noted. But that's no excuse to let wolfmen roam free. This young 20 year-old wolfman is likely especially spry, and he claims to have a military background. If you've ever played disco...

Watch This Drunk Guy Stumble Home
London's network of surveillance cameras finally pays off, with this stitched-together journey of one gentleman's trip home after being kicked out of a big celebrity get-together. [via Bob's Blitz]...

What Would Football Look Like If It Were Played With Baseballs?
Your letters:...

Cockblocked By Hindu Marriage Traditions!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

I've Been Staring At This Bizarre Photo For Almost A Minute And I Still Haven't Blinked (NSFW?)
For whatever reason, a reader named "Adem" sent this pic in an email without any logical explanation. So I leave it up to you people to figure out the sad, mysterious backstory of this screen-capture from what appears to be some sort of hostage situation at an S & M dungeon filled with fast food em...

Confessions Of A Second-Grade Reaganite
Ronald Reagan would have been 100 years old this year, but he's dead now and riding ponies up in heaven or something. I was in second grade in 1984, when Reagan defeated Walter Mondale in the biggest election landslide in American history. And for reasons unknown to me now, I appear to have adored t...

When Did You Lose Your Dead Body Card?
Yesterday I tried on one of those sweat-wicking polyester workout shirts, the kind that's skintight and utterly unflattering on someone like me. Anyway, I've got this thing on and it's just painted on me, it's so tight, and it occurred to me that the main reason people wear this kind of stuff isn't ...

German Women Adept At Milking Cows, Plowing Fields Vie For Calendar-Modeling Gig
Two hundred women applied but just 25 made the first cut. From there, the Hamburg Chamber of Trade will whittle down the list to determine who has what it takes to represent not only a nation, but a way of life, in the 2012 German Farm Girls Calendar....

Cockblocked By The Mentally Disabled!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Seattle-Area Cheerleaders Up To Their Old Diapered, Hot-Dog-Slappin' Tricks
Scene: waning springtime in the Seattle metro area. Local cheerleaders, presumably led by Parker Posey, now up to no good with the school year coming to an end, their youth and beauty fading. Their tools: diapers and hot dogs....

I’ll Wear Shorts If I Goddamn Want To
Memorial Day weekend is coming to mark the start of summer, and once again I find myself confronted with assholes all over the place telling me I can't wear shorts. First there's designer Tom Ford:...

Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....

Incredible Video Of A Tornado Chasing A Storm Chaser
David Payne of KFOR in Oklahoma City has been driving towards tornadoes for the better part of two decades. But last night, one changed direction and came down right on top of him....

An In-Depth Examination Of Dad Strength
I was driving to a Metro stop yesterday when I saw a car up ahead that was about to merge into traffic from bus stop lane. And sometimes, you can tell well in advance that the driver about to merge into traffic is a fucking idiot who won't bother looking to see if another car is there. You get that ...

Cockblocked By A Rape Joke!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Ranking The 10 End-Of-The-Human-Race Scenarios
The Rapture is scheduled for tomorrow, and this is roughly the 17th time in my life that all of us were supposed to die according to some kind of vague, medieval prediction. All of these Rapture predictions, of course, are born of hubris. Everyone wants to believe that they will be alive during the ...