deadspinxy Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Dadspin Guide To The American Snow Day
It's snowing. Again. I live in an area where the arrival of half a snowflake results in the absolute cessation of all business and public transport and hospital respirators, so school is closed. For the 90th fucking time. At this rate, my children will learn to read sometime around 2085....
Pregnant Ladies Duel In Bonkers <i>Price Is Right</i> Showcase Showdown
It was Baby Shower day on The Price Is Right and the audience was full of expectant mothers. So, two pregnant ladies facing off on the Showcase Showdown is actually the only thing that's not out of the ordinary here. ...
Fake Chef Fools Midwest Morning Shows, Makes Reporters Eat Gross Food
Over the holidays, Keith Guerke appeared on five morning shows in Wisconsin and Illinois to promote his new cookbook and prepare some meals made from leftovers. One little problem: Chef Keith doesn't know how to cook....
How To Cook Sea Scallops Without Ruining Them: The Case Against Bacon
Step one is hiring a sinister shifty-eyed fellow with a pencil mustache to remove the bacon from your refrigerator and hide it somewhere in your home where you cannot find it. OK, so he does not have to have a pencil mustache. But it will be awesomer if he does....
24 Light Beers, Ranked
Raise your hand if you're even fatter now than you were on New Year's Day. No, your other hand, the one that isn't strangling a donut. Oh, I see. Well, do you have a third hand? Never mind, the tear tracks carved through your powdered-sugar beard are affirmation enough....
The Case For New York City As Greatest City In The World
There was some rumor going around about a Space Jam sequel last week starring LeBron James. Now, I hated that movie. I didn't even like it in the ironic way that some people like it because it was badly acted or whatever. But anyway, the guy who directed Space Jam was a legendary ad director name...
How To Make Chocolate Pudding, Grown-Up Food For Grownups
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner this week is longtime friend of the program Miserable Shitehawk....
One Weird Old Trick To Remove White Water Stains From Wood
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
How To Prevent Your Spine From Turning To Mush
Hey, you! Mr. Spry Twenty-Five-Year-Old! Feeling pretty limber these days, eh? Going out and CRUSHING beers and playing campus golf and bending over to pick up entire crates of taco meat. Life's pretty swell for you! Well, I have fun news for you, sport. PAIN IS COMING. So much pain. One day...
How To Make A Simple Goddamn Grilled-Cheese Sandwich
Everywhere we are gussying up our grilled-cheese sandwiches. In fancy restaurants and home kitchens and delicatessens and those insufferable quasi-fast-food joints with the accented, ambiguously Euro names and the friggin' Ray LaMontagne music on the PA and the cutesy, bottled alterna-soda in the co...
Help! My Girlfriend's Hair Is Everywhere!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
You're Eating It Wrong: Chicken Wings
Yesterday we taught you how to make wings for your Super Bowl party, but now the big day is here, and, holy shit, how do I eat these things? The answer: Not how you've been doing it, weirdo!...
Drunk Dude Sings Lil Jon's "Get Low" On D.C. Metro
This is fantastic. This hammered dude belts out a few lines from Lil Jon's "Get Low" while rocking back and forth in his Metro seat, setting off little impromptu sing-along in the car. After the initial flurry, he goes silent for a good two minutes. And then:...
How To Make Wings, Instead Of Letting The Pizza Dude Do It For You
So the Super Bowl is tomorrow, and just as Super Bowl viewership is essentially non-optional for Americans who do not wish to be regarded with open suspicion by their acquaintances and coworkers, the provision of chicken wings is essentially non-optional for Super Bowl party hosts who do not wish to...
13 Drinks To Get You Through The Worst Month Of The Year
Did any of you wasters (pretend to) go alcohol-free in January? I know Jolie did, and I considered joining her, because I'm a big proponent of limiting your gross booze intake any way you can. Obviously year-round moderation is the best way to do it, but many of us just aren't wired that way, nor do...
How To Make Risotto, The Foodstuff Of Love
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner this week is longtime friend of the program Miserable Shitehawk....