deadspinxy Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Quintessential Night In An American Hospital
Going to the hospital sucks. Aggressively. Hospitals know this, of course. But they have no interest in NOT sucking because if going to the hospital were pleasant and breezy, then everyone would go and the staff would be overloaded and have little or no time to fuck each other in the laundry room. E...
An In-Depth Logistical Exploration Of Animal Rape
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering dead bodies, terrifying ear stories, and more....
Cockblocked By Weed Addiction!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
25 Jager Bombs For Only $223.75 Canadian Dollars! An Analysis Of The Epic Receipt From "The #1 Sports Bar In North America."
Here's what I like about this receipt, a full version of which you can view here: You can actually track the progressive drunkeness of whatever pack of Canadian hyenas to which it belongs by their orders. Let's see...they sensibly start with food — nachos, sliders, voodoo shrimp, chicken tenders; an...
Could The 2012 NFL Draft Become A Double Megadraft?!
I had to go an '80s-themed party with my wife on Saturday night. And I have no clue how they do this, but women always seem to have outfits for themed parties ready on their person at all times. "Oh, there's an '80s party? Let me just grab my oversized Esprit T-shirt, leg warmers, and hair crimper! ...
Cockblocked By Cowboys!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
“Wait For Iiiiiit.” When Memes And Catchphrases Take Over Your Brain
The other day, I was about to walk out of my place to go do errands or something with my kid. But my kid didn't have her jacket on yet, so she said to me, "Wait for iiiiiit."...
Cockblocked By The Evening News!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Let's Watch Some Guy Named Vinny D. Dispense Love Advice
To quote Vinny D. of FloodTheClub.com party promotions on Strong Island (and tha boroughs), "Stay single. Have a good time. There's no parole officer. There's no cop. There's nobody to answer to at the end of the night. I mean, your mother stops being your mother when you turn 18. You don't need a...
Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....
Elizabeth Taylor, As Remembered By Fake Robert Evans
In light of the recent passing of Hollywood screen icon Liz Taylor, we asked legendary Hollywood producer and Jamboroo contributor Robert Evans to join us to share some of his fondest memories of the actress. Take it away, Mr. Evans....
Jerking Off In Congress: A Bipartisan Debate
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering semen, allergies, boogers, and more....
This Is How You Looked In 1990, America
This isn't sports, beyond a Mets kid and what I believe is a Randy White Cowboys shirtsey. But it is America, in the summer of 1990, as pictured at your local mall. As someone who wasn't old enough to be dressing myself in 1990, I can say: shame on you, past people. [How To Be A Retronaut]...
A Golden Shower Isn’t Fun If You Didn’t Ask For One
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Transgender Thai Wows TV-Show Audience With Bait-And-Switch Performance
Did you catch "Thailand's Got Talent" this week? If not, you missed a competitor much like Susan Boyle if Susan Boyle was a singer named Bell Nuntita who looks and sounds like a female angel until the masculine bass comes out to shine....
"I Want My Wife To Stick Her Finger Up My Butt"
No time for tiddlywinks. Your letters:...
Revenge Of The Bullied: Casey Becomes An Icon
It's been a day since the Internet was introduced to Casey Heynes, the Australian kid who struck back against a bully. In Internet time, a day's an eternity, so let's bring you up to date....
The Ultimate Anti-Bullying PSA: Kid Fights Back With Devastating Body Slam
Casey's had enough. The bigger kid on the right "has been bullied his whole school life," says the video description, "and this is what happens when he snaps!!" Hence the jackknife powerbomb. The Facebook commenters are universally in his corner, as we all should be, but the school didn't see it t...
The Worst Lost Virginity Story Ever
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....