deadspinxy Page 54 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Just Put The Fucking Pizza In The Fucking Oven": LSU Girl Freaks Out At Papa John's
One of America's future leaders has had it up to here with her pizza taking so long. Bonus: fellow student pulls the "hold me back, bro" move while pretending to want to fight her....
This Is How Captain Awesome Signs His Name
Deadspin has acquired the official petition for change of name that Captain Awesome, the Oregon man formerly known as Douglas Allen Smith, Jr., submitted to the Circuit Court of Lane County in late September. This is his legal signature....
It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before Snoop Dogg And Waffle House Found One Another
Snoop Dogg posed a question to his Twitter fam just before 11 a.m.: Denny's or Waffle House? Two hours later, Waffle House was a trending topic....
The Greatest Collection Of C-List Celebrities Doing Bad Karaoke On A Beach Ever Seen On Norwegian Television
We don't ask you to watch 6-minute long videos too often. We're asking you now....
Do NOT Put Aqua Velva On Your Genitals
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Unfortunately, Jameson Does Not Come In Juice Box Form. Yet.
This image, a screen-grab of veteran character actor Tommy Flanagan enjoying a Jameson booze box during this week's season finale of Sons of Anarchy is causing a relative stir, in part because such a booze box cannot be purchased....
Can You Jack It In All 50 States? TAKE THE FUNBAG CHALLENGE!
I broke a mirror yesterday. But it wasn't my fault, because the mirror was inside a frame and my wife neglected to tell me that she detached the mirror from the frame. So I picked up the mirror by the frame and it knocked the thing over and it shattered. I argue that whoever is in charge of handing ...
At Long Last, My Reunion With Red Meat
For 14 years, I ate only poultry and fish. Last year, I started eating beef and pork again. So what's it like to return to red meat after all this time? LIKE FUCKING HEAVEN....
Rejoice! Alcoholic Whipped Cream Is Here To Replace Four Loko
Four Loko will be gone from our (American) store shelves by Dec. 13. If you aren't going to make your own, and you insist on consuming grain alcohol in a gimmicky fashion, there is another option: hooch-heavy whipped cream....
The Hater’s Guide To Taylor Swift
Apropos of nothing, can I unsubscribe to Taylor Swift? Is that possible? I'd really like it to be possible....
Saddest News Ever: Leslie Nielsen Passes Away
Yes, the deadpan-est of deadpan comedic actors is now dead. DUAN! varmints, please give him a fond farewell in the comments section by reciting your favorite Drebin/Dr. Alan Rumack lines.That would be me...I've been swimming in raw sewage. [Hollywood Reporter]...
"Watching My Shirtless, Bloody Friend Hug His Grandma At 9 A.M. Was Pretty Awesome"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
*WINNER*: "Then I Get The More Awesome Idea Of Giving Him A Blow Job In His Girlfriend's Bathroom."
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
My Asian Roommate Stole My Handjob!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
All Of Our Fantasy Football Teams Are Related To Us Banging In The Dining Room
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
Poor Amanda Shit Her Pants While Passed Out In the Backseat
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...
Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....
Crazy NYC Corner Store Fight Is Crazy
NYC bodegas are always good for something. Take this ridiculous fight for example. Somebody owes somebody money, so somebody else throws some shit around, then: pandemonium....