deadspinxy Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....
This Is A Praying Mantis Bodyslamming A Hummingbird
It's not so easy to flap your wings up to 90 times a second when you're getting smashed into the concrete by two spiked forelegs, is it hummingbird? H/T I Like Cheap Beer...
Cracking The Case Of The Oscar Winner Who Hooked Up With Matthew Berry's Friend
When we last checked in, Matthew Berry's friend had gotten some strange from a Hollywood actress and it was evidently a big deal—assuming Matthew Berry has friends who look like Matthew Berry. The case was cold, until now....
Lithuanians Clearly Don't Remember The Last Time A "Blondes Only" Society Was Pursued
A Lithuanian company — the name of which is pronounced Ooh La La — has big plans. Specifically, they're trying to open a vacation resort in the Maldives at which the workers are all blonde....
GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Inadvertent Irish Brawl Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Who Wants To See A Dead Mouse Found In A Loaf Of Bread?
Good god. It's like bread for people on the Atkins Diet. Oh, and the company was only fined $26,000 for this. [BBC]...
This Is What Happens When Your Back Turns To Mush
This is a story about pain. If you've ever had it, maybe you'll feel compelled to read on. If you never have, I hope you never do....
Formerly Censored Dwarf Painting Restored To Full Nudity
This 16th century Italian masterpiece was finally restored to its original butt-nakedness, after having been painted over for being obscene. Oh, and it's a two-sided canvas, so there's a rear view too....
I Hope You Die, Mr. Weatherman
Bit of a shorter funbag today. I had back surgery yesterday. Fuck off and leave me alone. Your letters:...
Poonami: Brooklyn Canal Turns Into Literal River Of Human Shit
The Gowanus Canal, which has already tested positive for gonorrhea, ran brown with human waste after this month's tornado. It's like the eleventh plague of Egypt, only, you know, poop. [via Brownstoner]...
GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: The Saddest Hookup In the World
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Dork Beats Other Dork: The King Of Kong Returns
The guy from The King of Kong is once again The King of Kong. Steve Wiebe retook the world-record from Billy Mitchell, and the wussiest rivalry in the world was given new life. Bring on the sequel. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...
Screw You And Your Iowa Shirt
It's my anniversary today, and when you've been married eight years and have small children, you are free to do away with all the bells and whistles an anniversary is supposed to entail....
The New Internet-Friendly OK Go Music Video Is Here
Viral (music) video makers OK Go are back with another video. Gone are the treadmills and creative use of green screens, in are cup-stacking and a bunch of highly trained super dogs. It's better than "November Rain's" video, I guess....
Aussie Says There Are "Some Perks" To Having the World's Widest Tongue
Jay Sloot, aka Tongue Boy, says he doesn't use his freakishly huge slab of mouth-meat as "a pick-up line." No, I reckon he wouldn't have to....
Tuneful, Preppy Version Of "Bitches Ain't Shit" Suggests Bitches May Be Shit, After All
Oh, there's nothing quite like a post-ironic a cappella version of a white man's very ironic cover of a Dr. Dre song done by a group of spunky young tarts....
GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Vaginal Bear Trap Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Werner Herzog's Thrilling Car Accident Rescue Story Has Been Animated
Saying Werner Herzog is interesting is an understatement. He gives that Dos Equis Guy a serious run for his money in the Interesting Department. Here's an animated version of the time he saved Joaquin Phoenix from a hideous car wreck. [Kottke]...
Here Are Some Grisly Photos Of A Sailor's Body Parts After Being Eaten By This Tiger Shark
Yesterday, we pointed you to this story about the poor sailor chomped by a tiger shark off the coast of the Bahamas. Underwater Times has the gruesome after photos. If you have a quick gag reflex, do not continue....