deadspinxy Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Look At The Tree" Tornado Video Is The East Coast's "Double Rainbow"
So, we had a tornado here in New York yesterday evening. Most people took it in stride. These bros in Brooklyn freaked right the fuck out. Let's enjoy....
Shark Eats Sailor, Spits Leg Back At Fisherman
"On September 4, a local investment banker caught the 12-foot tiger shark while on a deep-sea fishing trip and he said a left leg popped out of its mouth as they hauled it in. " [TelegraphUK]...
The Risk You Run When You Try To Become An Oyster-Eating Champion
Meet Ken Orndoff of Hoover, Ala. When he wanted to set a record and heard a local fish food place wanted to show its Gulf oysters were fresh, something clicked. Plus, there was $25 on the line....
How To Ruin Your Father’s Wedding To A Gold-Digging Whore
The easiest test of human intelligence is taking someone to Taco Bell and seeing if they order a drink size bigger than small, even though the refills are free. Now, your letters:...
Today In Sexy Swedish Navy Boat And STD News
"Two Swedish non-commissioned officers have been docked pay for painting a flying penis on a white flag adorning their boat during a naval exercise in the Stockholm archipelago" Also: It's 'Chlamydia Monday' in Sweden. (H/T Swedish correspondent Tom Kolak)...
Intern Horrors: The One About Rhinoceros Testicles And The Old Munitions Depot
Hello and welcome back to Intern Horrors, the occasional feature wherein browbeaten office lackeys complain about having their brows beaten to various degrees. Today, explosions in close proximity to a stash of rhinoceros testicles, Black Monday, old-man nudity, and more....
Centerfold Playmate Believed She Could Fly, Was Wrong
Tiffany Livingston flew JetBlue from Orlando to Newark earlier this week. She got nervous mid-flight, summoned her inner pissed-off male stewardess, "bolted from her seat and tried to open the door of the plane."...
Cockblocked By Patrick Kane! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Screw You And Your Out Of Office Autoreply
I was on a late flight home last week with my two kids. Our flight was delayed by 90 minutes for a "chemical problem," which I'm certain was airline codespeak for, "the pilot has gotten drunk and wet himself." Anyway, the plane got to the front of the runway, was prepared to take off, and then turne...
The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...
Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....
Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...
Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...
Thai Police Catch Attempted-Murder Suspect, Take Amusing Picture
Prasop Homhuan (pointee)—wanted in connection with one of those Asian karaoke murders—was apprehended after more than a year on the run. The authorities then took a picture clearly showing that they had gotten their man. [Phuket Gazette, via @jeffkoyen]...
Science Wins Again: Heavy Drinkers Live Longer
Hey teetotalers: not only are you a drag, you're going to die younger. Live slow, die fast, jerks....
New Yorkers React To Some Pervert Videotaping A Ballerina's Ass, Calling Everyone "Goober"
Click to view Times Square sucks, but every once in a while something special happens. Like when an impromptu photo shoot of a ballerina who is not dressed like a ballerina crosses paths with a guy who videotapes women's butts. [Carlos Miller, via Skeets]...
GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Hooker Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
I've Never Seen Four Effeminate Filipinos So Excited
You think you were thrilled by Miss Philippines making it to the top 15 of the Miss Universe Pageant? Try these four. Sorry ladies, I know you like a guy not afraid to show his emotions, but I don't think they're interested....
Airbag Prank Nearly Launches Man Through Ceiling
Get a bunch of Russians together, ply them with alcohol, and it's only a matter of time before this happens. Interestingly, this is a perfect re-creation of the later years of the Soviet Space Program....
Read Bill O'Reilly Wax Uptight About '70s Porn Auteur Gerard Damiano
During the early days of disco, young scribe Bill O'Reilly scribed for the Boston Phoenix. His first article was a feature on the director of Deep Throat, giving new resonance to "Fuck it, we'll do it live." [Boston Phoenix]...