deadspinxy Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
World's Best Soccer Player Forms Universe's Worst Bro-Band Tribute Band
It was looking good for futbol to get some American respect. It's looking less good today....
Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure: TRANNY EDITION!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
A Return From Gentle Path: The Humiliation Of A Sex Addict In Rehab
Several months ago, an anonymous Deadspin reader checked himself into the infamous Gentle Path sex addiction program for 45 days — the same place Tiger tamed his wayward pecker. This is what our writer experienced in his time there....
Seven Ways To Improve The Modern Automobile
There was a violent thunderstorm here on Sunday. It knocked out our power for two days. I was with my kid at some local pool when the clouds started to gather. Suddenly, the thunder rolled and the lifeguard ordered everyone out of the pool. The wind started whipping up like fucking crazy, blowing tr...
Kings of Leon Dethroned by Pigeons
What's most ladylike: a) Curtseying, b) Sitting with legs crossed while wearing a skirt or c) Canceling a concert in St. Louis after three songs because birds were pooing on you? If you answered "C," we're in agreement....
The Worst Bra Unhooking Failure Ever. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Pug Singing <em>Batman</em> TV Show Theme? Pug Singing <em>Batman</em> TV Show Theme.
A pug! Singing the Batman TV show theme....
A Compendium Of Horrible, Horrible Twitter Poetry
Twitter is an inherently silly and disposable means of communication. Oh, but there are people out there who take their tweets seriously. Very seriously. AFFIRMED....
Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who allegedly tormented her by scrawling pictures of rabbits on the blackboard to aggravate her rabbit phobia." [The Local] (H/T Tom K.)...
Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...
Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"Police responded early Friday to a call of shots fired at a home in Roberts and found a man apparently hallucinating an attack by clowns." [Pioneer Press](via DCarr)...
<em>Inception</em> Was Great, Now Please Stop Talking About It, Assholes
I went and saw Inception on Friday night. I like any movie that includes mid-air hand-to-hand combat and Marion Cotillard's cleavage. But it's clear this movie is about to supplant "Lost" for annoying fanboy overanalysis....
Hot New Trend Sweeping Through Suburban Chicago: Beating The Crap Out Of Mascots
Have you heard? Anybody who's anybody knows that the coolest thing to do now—at least in the lawless cesspool of the northwest suburbs of Chicago—is to beat up a mascot at an amusement park. Random assault fever—catch it!...
Cockblocked by Nick Swisher! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase a few heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
How To Protect Yourself From Excessive Rimjobbing
No time to waste. We again go right to your letters:...
Read This Now: The True Story Of The <em>Price Is Right</em> Perfect Bid Scandal
Chris Jones, he of that other really good Roger Ebert piece, has a story in the recent Esquire about the time card-counter Terry Kniess guesstimated a perfect bid and pissed off Drew Carey in the process. [Esquire]...
World's Largest-Breasted Woman's Breasts Trying To Kill Her
After more than 30 surgeries, Texan Sheyla Hershey's M-cup bosom finally had enough. Her latest procedure gave her a staph infection, and doctors have removed her implants to try and save her life. Godspeed, Sheyla.[MyFoxHouston]...
How To Perfect Your Imaginary Serial Killer Technique
Your letters:...
Intern Horrors: Sexual Harassment Edition
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein hard-working kids with good heads on their shoulders try to get a leg up in the working world, and bosses complain about the sadsacks wasting everyone's time for four credit hours at State U....
Silent Farts Vs. Loud Farts — WHO YA GOT?!
I love to fart. I really do....