deadspinxy Page 63 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What’s The Best Way To Avoid Being Raped In Prison?
I was told by friend this weekend that it's a long-held bit of conventional wisdom that Asian women have, on average, warmer genitals than other women. I did not know this was a supposedly universal stereotype for dragon ladies, nor did anyone else in my company. We all knew the usual stereotypes ab...

Crucial Relationship Advice Spoken Drunkenly To Teenagers: Cheat On All Your Girlfriends
I went to a bachelor party this weekend in a seaside town. There was eating, and drinking, and a failed attempt to get two Polish Food Lion clerkettes to come over and massage the groom....

How Badass Is Your Dad?
Reddit users are preparing for Father's Day by sharing tall tales about their dads. Unless yours killed him a bear when he was only three, you lose. [Reddit; Photo]...

"Bros Icing Bros" Offs SELLS Itself (UPDATE)
Praise (or blame) Drew Magary for this outcome. UPDATE: VV scoundrel Foster Kamer is reporting that Bros Icing Bros was sold to some place. But not Bro Bible. Yeah. [BrosIcingBros]...

Military's "Super Underwear" Will Save Your Butt
Scientists have developed some sort of electronic underoos that will be able to identify and heal injuries while you're wearing them. The genius behind this breakthrough? You guessed it: Nano-engineering professor Joseph Wang. [Reuters]...

How One Energy Company Will Prevent Catastrophic Oil Spills: Swivel-Chair Safety
What you are about to read sums up everything that's boneheaded about corporate America — and it all begins with a swivel chair. Read, weep, and learn....

College Wrestler Condom Bombs Officer With Puke-Filled Rubbers
The North Central College freshman lured out campus security with a fake call for a female needing an escort, and ambushed the officer with two condoms filled with vomit. I think I saw something similar in a Japanese porno once. [Daily Herald]...

Intern Horrors: Mike Francesa Doesn't Run The Tightest Of Ships
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns, and the titans of industry who employ them, bitch about each other's deplorable behavior. This week we have what WFAN's really like, the perils of the music biz, combing through files, and more....

The Epitome of Douche: "Bros Icing Bros"
I went to a wedding this weekend and saw at least three bros (BRAH!) get iced. This retarded game needs to stop immediately. Right fucking now....

An Alternate History Of The Miami Sorority Zoo Party Bus Of Doom
Earlier this week, we told you about the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority that was disciplined by Miami University for alleged drunken assaults on a limousine driver. Well, a friend of the Zetas have stepped up to defend their honor....

How Not To Leave A Message For A Woman You're Hoping To Date
Dudes: The follow-up phone call is important—but try not mention that you'll call again in one month because you're currently living with another woman you sort of care about, because you're also homeless. Save that for email. [Gawker]...

Cover-Band Drummer Is Far Too Intense For A Cover-Band Drummer
Click to view If there's one thing more embarrassing than being in a cover band that wears matching gold blazers, it's being the overly intense drummer for a cover band that wears matching gold blazers. Sharp-dressed men, indeed. H/T Brad....

Yet Another Miami Sorority Formal Ends In Drunken, Pukey Anarchy
The Fightin' Zeta Tau Alphas of Miami University became the third sorority at the Ohio school to be placed on probation this semester after a night of messy, over-served lunacy. At the zoo, of all places. Those poor animals....

Lazily Scroll Through Pictures Of New York's Best-Looking Sandwiches
Grub Street has spoken: these are the best sandwiches in New York. But don't worry, they've got lists for a few different cities as well. Click through the galleries, then wipe all the drool off your desk. [Grub Street]...

Mentos-And-Coke Car Propels Us Into The Future
Two mad geniuses have invented a rocket car, powered only by the dark magic of Mentos and soda. It's already the second-most popular vehicle class in the country, ahead of open-wheeled racing....

Intern Horrors: A Reds Broadcaster Does His Best To Ruin Eric Davis Bobblehead Night
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, a weekly feature in which interns (and the people who hire them) get to complain. Today, there's a Cincinnati Red showing his true colors (it's envy!), a desk befouled, the depths of desperation, and our first badtern....

Extravagantly Choreographed Marriage Proposal Hits The Internet
Here's a painfully adorable marriage proposal in Madison Square Park — complete with dance number, of course — because no human milestone can be reached any longer without someone making a viral video. [@richarddeitsch]...

In Honor Of Memorial Day Weekend, Here's A Children's Treasury Of People Failing At The Art Of BBQ
Memorial Day is great: it's the unofficial beginning of summer, Jurassic Park 2 comes out if it's 1997, Saving Private Ryan is on somewhere, swimming in public bodies of water becomes socially acceptable again, and barbecue. All the wonderful barbecue....

Where Not To Go This Vacation Season
SeaWorld has two pregnant Orcas; both carrying the children of Tilikum, who put the killer in Killer Whale....