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It's Never Too Late To Start Smoking Weed
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering ice cream machines, Kennedy, robot coaches, and more. Image by Jim Cooke....

How To Make A Fish Sandwich. (You're Not Too Good For A Fish Sandwich.)
Oh, what, so you think you're too "good" for a fish sandwich? Oh, so fish sandwiches are for "weird leathery shore-people" with "wiry fisherman physiques" and "hairdos from the mid-1970s" and "scars from old knife fights"? Oh, so you "didn't actually say any of that" and I am "having this argument w...

Your Hockey Gear Is Foul. Clean It, Or Else.
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....

Are Silent Farts Really More Deadly? Science Has An Answer
Our buddies at AsapSCIENCE have created this short educational film that explains just exactly why you fart, why you fart at different volumes, and why those tiny little noiseless bandits are often the worst farts of all....

Women Of America, Beyonce Is Conning You
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering sharts, porn star moms, tugs of war, and more....

$40 Deviled Eggs To Help You Survive The Great Sriracha Panic
From time to time we come across a highfalutin recipe with an ingredients list that strikes us as a hair on the costly side. And when we do, we're gonna run those ingredients through the checkout aisle at Whole Foods on the Bowery to see how it adds up....


How To Make Home Fries, The Breakfast Of Sluggards
The basic idea is that breakfast is supposed to supply your wretched, dead-eyed carcass with enough chemical energy to work itself up into a state vaguely similar to the authentic vitality of the functional, well-adjusted people edging away from you in half-concealed disgust on the bus. This is why...

Why Is My Beef Stew So Damn Boring?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wit...

Help! My Boyfriend Follows Too Many Porn Stars On Instagram!
Your letters:...

Can You Ride A Bike In The City Without Being An Asshole? (No.)
Maybe I'm in the wrong but I get annoyed whenever I'm walking in the park and I hear, at my back, a bicycle bell. The call of "On your left!" also gets on my nerves. My fight instinct kicks in, and I have to force myself not to punch the bicyclist soon to go by. A single jab would do it....

Confessions Of A Masturbating Video Gamer
Up Up Down Down is an occasional column about video games. ...

How To Make Beef Stroganoff, Which, Hey, Remember Beef Stroganoff?
Remember Beef Stroganoff? That gray mushroomy stuff your adult caregiver made a few times back when you were a kid, and then it vanished off the face of the earth, and then you completely forgot it existed, and now you're going, "Oh, yeah—Stroganoff! Whatever happened to that stuff?"...

Why The Hell Does Your Drink Cost So Much?
I'm not ambitious enough to be downright thrifty, but I try to avoid abject retail stupidity. I know better than to buy paper plates when the free magazines and underwear catalogs that clog my mailbox are perfectly capable of supporting even the hammin'est of sandwiches. I drink tap water, and I'm s...

The $70 Pub Cheese, Which Costs <em>70 Freaking Dollars</em>
From time to time we come across a highfalutin recipe with an ingredients list that strikes us as a hair on the costly side. And when we do, we're gonna run those ingredients through the checkout aisle at Whole Foods on the Bowery to see how it adds up....

Let's Talk About What Should Constitute Male Rights
Did you know that there is a such a thing as mens' rights activism? It's true! According to this article, there is a small (three inches?) group of HARDCORE BROS who have had it up to here with the ongoing vaginization of America, and they're not gonna take it lying down (unless they got a chick o...

Do Fat People Make Better Restaurant Recommendations?
Your letters:...

Lou Reed's Secret Chord
Aw hell. Lou Reed is dead. There's a live version of "Sweet Jane" from 2003 that I can't find online right now but is worth a listen today, in the man's honor. Reed is noodling around with the song, working through that famous riff, more of a shuffle now than the strut you remember from the album. J...

Bill Sharman Became A Legend For (And By) Thanking Everyone
Your mom might've told you to write thank-you notes once upon a time, and it seemed like such a chore, an exercise in obsequiousness. Typically, it was rote. Someone slides a sawbuck into a birthday card, you're condemned to scribble out a few lines of scripted treacle: Thank you so much for the mon...