derp Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fame And Fantasy In The Heavyweight Battle Of The Atlantic
A note before starting: Much of this was written before the Saturday, Sept. 22nd heavyweight title fight between Anthony Joshua and Alexander Povetkin held at Wembley Stadium in London, hence the two parts to the piece—before Wembley, and then upon arrival and afterwards. There is a lot of specula...
Sri Lanka's Cricket Staff Was Ordered To Strip If They Wanted Their Money
Sri Lanka’s cricket board was forced to apologize after an international tournament’s grounds crew was forced to take off and return their officially provided uniform pants before they received their owed wages, the BBC reports....
You’re Using Some Weird Stuff To Wipe Your Butts, Guys
Is seven years too long to keep a pair of underwear?...
Sunscreen Is So God Awful Stain-y It Almost Ruins Summer
Sunscreen stains depress me, you guys. But they happen, and we need to talk about why, and what to do about them, so we did....
Judge Orders Stop Of Some Deportations At LAX
A federal judge has issued a temporary restraining order telling U.S. Customs and Border Protection that the agency must stop enforcing part of the Muslim ban at Los Angeles International Airport. The order, issued late Tuesday by U.S. District Judge Andre Birotte Jr., did not address the entirety o...
Nobody Knows What Trump's Customs And Border Agents Are Doing At LAX
LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT — Nana Sarkisyan brought her passport with her Tuesday, just in case she had to go back to Armenia. Up until a few days ago, that was not the plan. The plan was that her husband would step off his flight, pass through customs on his immigration visa, and become a gr...
"I Don't Believe I'm In The U.S. Anymore"
LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT—It was hard to not feel enthusiastic when I first arrived Sunday at Los Angeles International Airport, although that feeling would wane by the time I left, replaced by a quote from one woman who had been reunited with her sister after five hours of detainment: “I do...
Uh Oh, Transgender High School Students Want To Wreck Sports By Stealing Scholarships And Showering With Girls
Girls' sports might be coming to an end (think: apocalypse), according to a full-page ad in the Star Tribune. And that's not all. The very concerned, very conservative Child Protection League Action group who placed the ad went on to holler:...
That's Not How Putting Works, Ernie Els
Hi there, Ernie Els. I understand that you are successful professional golfer, so I hesitate to overstep my bounds here by telling you how to do your job. Still, I think you should know that this isn't how putting is supposed to work:...
This Is The Worst Offensive Possession Of The NBA Season
Did you watch the Nuggets-Wizards game last night? I sure hope you didn't, because that game suuuuuucked. It was a game that featured a final score of 75-74, a combined 44 turnovers, and ended with the Wizards blowing four straight chances at a game-winning shot. But perhaps no play captures the fu...
A Good Cry: How Alexander Payne Became The Auteur Of The Male Weepie
My favorite Alexander Payne movie is always going to be Election. His 1999 satire—about a high school teacher (Matthew Broderick) who makes it his mission to ensure that the ambitious Tracy Flick (a never-better Reese Witherspoon) fails to win her election for class president—wasn't just incredibly,...
This Is Peter King In An Allagash Hoodie And Blue Jays Hat
Good outfit. LOFTY outfit....
Here Are The Best States To Be A Transgender High School Athlete
As reported by the Times earlier this month, new legislation in California could make that state the first to legally guarantee the rights of transgender high school athletes. California has already joined a group of more than half a dozen states with school policies that allow transgender athletes ...
U.S. Border Guards Detained Mo Farah, Who Won Two Olympic Gold Medals Six Months Ago, On Suspicion Of Being A Terrorist
Mo Farah, gold-medal winner in the men's 5,000m and 10,000m this summer in London, hilarious celebrator, and world-famous meme, couldn't get through customs in Oregon over the Christmas holiday because he is of Somalian descent. That'll show him for beating us in the Olympics! (And also expose our b...
Someone Please Remind Andy Katz That ESPN Had A Hand In The Big East's Demise
Now that the Big East's non-football schools have decided to ditch the Big East, ESPN senior college basketball writer Andy Katz is among those waxing nostalgic about the Big East's heyday as a hoops league. But at the end of his paean published early this morning, Katz gets a little defensive about...
The Many Horrible, Stupid Faces Of Roger Goodell: A Gallery Of Authoritarian Derp
Roger Goodell is the worst, a nothingburger who rose to power on his daddy's good name, a sort of Commissioner Fredo whose legacy thus far is two self-destructive labor fights, some owner collusion, and ceaseless bullshit about the sanctity of the game. We've spent a lot of time writing about all t...
Team USA Just Barely Survived A Gut Check From Lithuania
The final score—99-94—doesn't tell the whole story: Lithuania had a lead in the fourth quarter, and there were moments where it looked like just about everything that could go wrong for the US team would: atrocious free throw shooting, no rhythm from outside, easy scores for Lithuania's guards, and ...
Oklahoma City Thunder Fan Is Selling His Homemade Painted Car
If you are in the market for a hideous car made even more hideous by a custom paint job, today is your lucky day. Drew Hooper, who can only be described as a Thunder super fan, decided to spruce up his 1996 Suzuki X-90 in really the only way a 1996 Suzuki X-90 can be spruced up: he painted Thunder p...
A Guy From My First-Period Class In High School Is Coming To Save The New York Rangers
The New York Rangers have the top seed in the Eastern Conference for the Stanley Cup playoffs (Thursday! On NHL Network! Catch it!), but the New York Rangers might be doomed. They face the Ottawa Senators in the first round. The Rangers went 1-2-1 against the Sens during the regular season. The Rang...