detroit-lions Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pizza Hut Wants To Be Friends With Roy Williams
You might remember that Lions wide receiver Roy Williams hates to tip pizza delivery guys. Well, it turns out, the president of Pizza Hut has taken notice, and he's offering Williams a job....
Ladies, Line Up For Roy Williams
Lions wide receiver Roy Williams is making $1,515,000 this year, which is actually a little less than you might think, considering Jon Kitna is being paid $5 million. Therefore, Williams, under such obvious financial constraints, has to keep a close eye on his bottom line. That is to say: He's amazi...
God Apologizes For Helping Kitna
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, just eight wins away from that preseason prediction, claimed last week that God healed his concussion, allowing him to play last week against the Eagles. You might have wondered what God thought about this. Well, Sportsline's Clay Travis has talked to God, and he's sorry...
Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business!...
It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC Central North. We haven't seen anybody pick anybody other than the Bears yet. We suspect it won't be much different here....
Charles Rogers, Finding A Home Up North?
We think we've found a great future job for Lions general manager / president Matt Millen, if he's ever actually fired by Detroit. (Ha. Right.) He would make a grand scout for the CFL....
NFL Season Preview: Detroit Lions
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Calvin Johnson Must Be Really, Really Good
...because he has Jon Kitna believing that the Detroit Lions are going to dominate the NFL this year. The same Lions that went 3-13 last year, because of a rookie wide receiver, are going to win 10+ games this year. Mmhmm....
Matt Millen May Not Have Screwed This Up
The Detroit Lions, with the 2nd overall pick, take Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Matt Millen Laughs At The Pain He Causes You
You know, we're starting to think that the only things that would survive a nuclear holocaust would be cockroaches, Kevin Federline and Matt Millen. And at least the cockroaches would feel kind of guilty about it....
The Tough Life Of A Backup Lineman For The Lions
You know what the problem with flight attendants are? You don't? Well, WE'LL TELL YA....
It's A Big Day For The Millen Haters
The latest in Lions fan protests is happening, oh, any time now. At some point in the second quarter, Lions fans are urged to walk out of Ford Field en masse. The goal, I believe, is not necessarily to voice their anger with Matt Millen, but rather with the guy who won't fire him, team owner William...
You Can Never Get Rid Of Matt Millen. Ever.
Sometimes big fan movements make a difference, changing the course of sports through a considerable mix of gumption and volume, like with the Rory Fitzpatrick NHL All-Star balloting, which still has a chance to send him into the starting lineup....
At Least He Didn't Biggie Size
So there are some new details about our new favorite assistant coach, the Lions' Joe Cullen, concerning his arrest for driving in the nude....
NFL Pants Party: NFC North
We do the riverdance, a manly dance, through the NFC North, land of paternity suits, custody issues, nude assistant coaches, Brett Favre and, of course, sex boats....
A Little Fired Up Down In The Red Zone
Forget the exploits of Peyton Manning and Ben Rothelisberger. Years from now, when you're balancing your great grandchildren on your knee, you can tell them that you were there on the day that Detroit Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen was arrested for driving in the nude. "But was he totally nude, gr...
Weird: A Lions Fan Setting Something On Fire
We know that life as a Detroit Lions fan has been difficult in recent years, but, honestly, it's no reason to set your neighborhood ablaze....
NFL Season Preview: Detroit Lions
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Ross Verba Is Once Again Employed
Ross Verba is an NFL offensive lineman. Well, he used to be, and then he wasn't, and now, I suppose he is again. Here's a quick list of things you should know about Ross Verba:...
Even Comic Strip Characters Have Had Enough
You know that weird Gil Thorp comic strip, the one that appears to constantly be following a game that never begins or ends and always leaves you anticipating a punch line that doesn't come?...