detroit-tigers Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Detroit Tigers' Season Cruelly Refuses To End
Despite what the calendar says, the Detroit Tigers called off their season weeks ago. They've won 5 games this month. They've lost 12 of their last 13, given six in a row to the Indians and Royals, their closer has already retired, Gary Sheffield is sharpening knives in his basement, and despite leg...

Gary Sheffield; No Saner Now Than He Was On Friday
As Gary Sheffield held a large steak to his aching melon over the weekend, Bob Watson, the Major League Baseball official in charge of on-field discipline, confirmed that he will review video of Friday's brawl between the Tigers and Cleveland Indians to levy possible fines and/or suspensions. Meanwh...

Todd Jones Might Be Menopausal
The Detroit Tigers, in a desperate attempt to stay competitive in the American League Central, decided that struggling closer Todd Jones needed to be replaced. Jones has surrendered 10 runs in his last 10 1/3 innings and was finally getting hit around the way you'd expect the 40-year-old finesse pit...

There's A Nice Man In A Suit At The Door Who Would Like To Talk To You, Mr. Fielder
Do you owe back taxes you can't pay? Don't let the IRS freeze your bank account, or threaten your job. Call the law offices of Moskowitz and Moskowitz and let our tax experts show you a way to settle your IRS problems for pennies on the dollar. Run and hide, and face jail, or call us today. Vegetari...

If I May Talk About The Non-Golf Tigers For A Second
So it took until the middle of June for the Tigers to win five games in a row, and it just happened when most of the fans were on the precipice of giving up on the team. There were even trade rumors surrounding Magglio Ordoñez — a thought which is a mere two degrees less blasphemous than heliocentri...

The Sudden Plummet Of Dontrelle Willis
Seriously, what in the world has happened to Dontrelle Willis? The guy used to be the next great face of baseball, a smiling, lovable African American in a sport that desperately needs more, with a whirly-gig windup and a youthful vigor for the game we hadn't seen since Griffey. And now ... he's pit...

Carlos Guillen Would Like To Borrow Your Cooling Ointment And A Large Cushion
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of being stricken with a dreaded hemorrhoid flare-up can attest to how painful it is. When it first appears, the general swamp ass-y, hiney spider feeling reaches about a "5" on the uncomforability scale. But the longer it lingers, it quickly shoots up to about a...

Jim Leyland Gets HIs Jim Mora On ... But Awesomely
it's not a classic Lea Elia rant, but it's still fun to listen to Leyland pop off. "I'm a fucking man!" "Don't look at the fucking guy next to you." "Weak fuckin' shit!" "You can put that in your paper!"...

Learn The Lesson Of Henri Cochet
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...

Dice-K Takes That Sniffling, Sneezing, Aching, Coughing, Stuffy-head, Fever, So-You-Can-Still-Beat-The-Tigers Medicine
Yeah, well don't get too smug, Tigers' fans. Considering that you started the season 0-7, and you couldn't beat a wildly off-target Daisuke Matsuzaka on Monday, losing 6-3 — your fourth straight loss — I wouldn't be mocking the Lions too loudly. It may not be long before your fans are wearing paper ...

May Day! May Day! Detroit Is On Fire!
So May started out pretty well if you happen to live in the 3-1-3. Within the space of two hours, the Pistons dispatched the 76ers to go to Round Two of the NBA Playoffs, the Red Wings pummeled the Avalanche to sweep that series, and the Tigers ... well, the Tigers pulled off the greatest feat of a...

Parsing Out The Tigers Meltdown
We don't have the heart, really, to check in with any of our Detroit Tigers friends, right now, from longtime Deadspin commenter fave Alex Balk to Ben Mathis Lilley to Defamer's Mark Graham. Not much is worse than expecting your team to dominate, and then watching as they start out two-and-freaking-...

The Wheels Are Coming Off In Wayne County
Detroit Tigers: EPIC FAIL. The Tigers are 0-7 following another fine performance on Tuesday — a 5-0 win by the Red Sox in the opener at Fenway — and the natives are beginning to get restless. First let's go to the blogs....

Shades Of A Very Expensive 2003
And there it is. The dreaded comparison: "Detroit is 0-5 for the first time since the Tigers dropped their first nine games in 2003 en route to an AL-record 119 losses." For the record, the 2008 Tigers are in no way similar to the 2003 variety, with the exception of players named Brandon Inge, Jerem...

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking
You may remember, from a year and a half ago, Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya being injured because of his addiction to Guitar Hero. (It happens. We understand.) Well, Zumaya, who is out until midseason, apparently has not lost the jones, as this recent Facebook picture attests....

Your AL Central "Preview"
All right, well, the season has supposedly started, though rain on Opening Day has to be some sort of cruel trick from God. So let's wrap up the last division....

Bundle Up When You Head To Comerica
We're a little late getting to this, but we need to make this clear as a public service announcement: It is extremely important that you always wear underwear to Comerica Park....

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....

Fat Guy, Skinny Guy Shipped To Detroit
As was first reported (kinda) by Sports Review Magazine, baseball had its first big trade yesterday. The Marlins sent Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis to the Tigers for six guys, though we think the actual amount of tonnage exchanged was close to equal....