detroit Page 63 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mellon Arena: The Final Frontier
The NHL Closer is written by the five Star Trek: The Next Generation enthusiasts from Melt Your Face Off. When not attending conventions, they can be found in their makeshift Holodeck, where they practice putting the moves on a virtual Counselor Troi. Set your phasers to stun, Deadspinners, because ...
Ray Allen Reunites With Jump Shot, Celtics Win
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who says you should never let friends drink and drive. Or go home with an ugly chick. Unless he has a really great personality. When he's not giving bad advice, he can be found doing the thing at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
NBA Playoffs: Celtics-Pistons, Game 5
Basketbawful has pulled out some 20-sided dice, a bag of chicken gizzards, and the Skull of Destiny to give you the inside skinny on tonight's NBA playoff game. (And there's one skinny thing that had better not be at the game...)...
Carlos Guillen Would Like To Borrow Your Cooling Ointment And A Large Cushion
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of being stricken with a dreaded hemorrhoid flare-up can attest to how painful it is. When it first appears, the general swamp ass-y, hiney spider feeling reaches about a "5" on the uncomforability scale. But the longer it lingers, it quickly shoots up to about a...
Kristen Bell Would Do Naughty Things To Chris Osgood
I've had that dream again: Elle Bishop from the TV show Heroes is taking a sponge bath in the Stanley Cup. What does it mean? Actually, it's based in truth: Actress Kristen Bell is a big fan of the Detroit Red Wings — specifically of Chris Osgood — and would also like to get some time alone with the...
The Stanley Cup Finals Mule Variations
The NHL Closer is written by five octopi from Melt Your Face Off. When Al Sobotka isn't twirling us over his head, we're served with pickled ginger, green onion and mayonnaise in takoyaki. Raskolnikov emptied his ink sacs to write a recap of last night's action....
McDyess Listens To Voices In Head, Kills Celtics
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who was in no way, shape or form ready for a playoff explosion from McDyess. But hey, nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition, right? When he's not puzzling until his puzzler is sore, he can be found eating a burrito as big as his head at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Pistons Lose Despite Home Court, Insane Fans
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's hoping that Spring will eventually come to Chicago. Not that 40-degree weather isn't fun...in, like, December. When he's not hating the hell out of the Midwestern weather, he can be found doing a sunshine dance at Basketbawful. Enjoy! There's no place...
Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....
Jim Leyland Gets HIs Jim Mora On ... But Awesomely
it's not a classic Lea Elia rant, but it's still fun to listen to Leyland pop off. "I'm a fucking man!" "Don't look at the fucking guy next to you." "Weak fuckin' shit!" "You can put that in your paper!"...
Celtics Use Rhythm Method, Belichick Craftiness To Beat Pistons
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's still wondering why the Celtics were all up in LeBron's junk last series. When he's not focusing on the sordid past, he can be found mocking the laughable present at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer's Guide
And on the second day, Basketbawful gave them a preview of Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Detroit Pistons and the Boston Celtics. And it was good....
The Lions Continue To Be A Feel-Good Story In Detroit
Let's see ... how could Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions possibly alienate fans any more than they already have. Hmm. Well, jeez, you know, we just can't think of anything; we can't imagine a conceivable way they could devastate that fan base more completely. Wait, here's one: They could tell their...
Free Darko On Boston-Detroit
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Detroit Pistons series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
Ooof, Stars, That'll Leave a Mark
The NHL Closer is written by five checking-line centers from Melt Your Face Off. When we're not receiving praise for our work ethic, we're taking shots to kill the pain from blocking shots. Raskolnikov momentarily stopped playing along the boards to write this recap....
Here Come The Red Wings ... Duck!
The NHL Closer is written by the Five Horsemen of the Apuckalypse from Melt Your Face Off. When not poring over the Book of Revelation for clues as to how to finally take out Gary Bettman, they can be found discovering new and inventive ways to commit blasphemy, blog-style. Weed Against Speed takes ...
Chris Osgood's Feel-Good Story Comes To A Butt-End
While Mitch Albom was gushing over what a selfless mensch Chris Osgood is on the Sports Reporters this morning for gracefully stepping aside when the Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek, he conveniently ignored the cheap shot Osgood took with the butt-end of his stick to the Stars' Mike Ribeiro at the en...
Learn The Lesson Of Henri Cochet
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
Previewing The Red Wings-Stars
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you by the five foppish gents at Melt Your Face Off. Please don't wear an ascot when a cravat is called for, or they will be right put out. LeNoceur breaks down the Western Conference Finals....
Dice-K Takes That Sniffling, Sneezing, Aching, Coughing, Stuffy-head, Fever, So-You-Can-Still-Beat-The-Tigers Medicine
Yeah, well don't get too smug, Tigers' fans. Considering that you started the season 0-7, and you couldn't beat a wildly off-target Daisuke Matsuzaka on Monday, losing 6-3 — your fourth straight loss — I wouldn't be mocking the Lions too loudly. It may not be long before your fans are wearing paper ...