disco - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights



Michael Phelps's Next Shark Race Better Involve Seal Blood And An Actual Shark<em></em>
Have you heard the news? Michael Phelps raced a Great White shark to kick off Discovery Channel’s annual “Shark Week” in style. Phelps vs. Shark: Great Gold vs. Great White aired Sunday night after months of anticipation, and it settled the question that I guess someone maybe thought of at some poin...

All My Pokémon Are Boring Trash Idiots
This weekend, I walked around Central Park—a hub for Pokémon Go enthusiasts, apparently—for about three hours trying to catch some good pocket monsters. All I got was a flock of Pidgeys. I hate them....

The White Sox's Disco Demolition Riot Was Even More Insane Than You Thought<em></em><em></em>
This month marks the 37th anniversary of the Disco Demolition riots, which took place at Chicago’s Comiskey Park in 1979. The White Sox and a local radio station put together one of the most ill-conceived, successful promotions in sports history, wherein they sold tickets to a doubleheader against t...

The Case Against Pets
Let’s talk about pets. They are made for cuddling. They nuzzle and purr and wiggle. They show their cute little bellies, asking for scratches. When we’re blue, they bring comfort. When they act like silly imbeciles, we make videos of them and share their antics with strangers on the internet. Pets g...

<i>The Final Girls </i>Is The Nadir Of Meta-Horror, Which Is The Nadir Of Real Horror
If you’re a horror fan, you’ve noticed that every few months, there’s a new entry in the genre that’s explicitly marketed to non-fans, with blogs and critics hyping “your new favorite horror film” and granting best-since-whatever status to a certain kind of movie. Think titles like Tucker & Dale vs....

What If The New <i>Star Wars </i>Sucks, Too?
Last night, the third trailer for the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiered on YouTube and ESPN. Did you shit your dick? I definitely shat my dick. I think the dick-shittingest moment, for me, was when the new Darth Vader guy was doing the Force to the other guy’s brain, but the low-altitu...

Cantillon Iris Is Overpriced Bullshit
We merry Drunkspinners celebrate every holiday that crosses our paths, from Christmas to Rosh Hashanah to National Beef Doughnut Day to the other National Beef Doughnut Day. No matter how solemn or contrived, we can get behind any celebration that doesn’t expressly forbid beer. Not all members of th...

<i>Game Of Thrones </i>Needs To Put Us Out Of Its Misery
Let’s begin by revisiting the best Game of Thrones scene to date. Notes:...

Ed Sheeran's Uncle Jim Sounds Like A Fucking Idiot
Ed Sheeran, who I don’t get, is a man who talks too much and has a penchant for performing British-guitar-guy covers of popular rap songs. Why? Probably because of Ed Sheeran’s idiot Uncle Jim:...

Magic Hat #9 Is Well Past Its Prime
Some people like to show off. This is a boring and undisputed part of the human condition, that we have to share the planet with ostentatiously effective people who are into things like sit-ups and graduate school. Oooh, look at me, I can make weird extra muscles pop out of my stomach! Hey, check ou...

This Is Probably The Worst Beer In The World
From 1973 until 2011, Carlsberg Lager marketed itself as "Probably the best beer in the world." That bald-assed lie made it the shame of Copenhagen, and it led all discerning citizens of the beer-drinking world to question if any Dane could ever be trusted under any circumstance. Of course, sales ...

Fuck Tyga
Tyga's name has been on the blogs and the Twitter a lot lately, and rightfully so: The rapper, a 25-year-old man, is allegedly doing it with hair-saleswoman Kylie Jenner, a 17-year-old Kardashian. Maybe they're just occasionally going out for froyo. Maybe they're fucking. If the latter is true, it's...
