I mean, I'm basically taking tipster Robert's word for it that that really is a tenderloin and not some kind of super fucked-up sex practice. That is one dong-lookin'-ass tenderloin!

Jeez.

This is FC Girondins de Bordeaux striker Thomas Touré, who was in action yesterday against AS Saint-Étienne. And this is Thomas Touré's dong.

Reader Kevin brings us this, the Nilla Wafer shaped like a dick and balls. That sure as hell is one dick-and-balls-shaped Nilla Wafer! Man. Take it away, Kevin:

A little (ha) palate cleanser: Get a load of Teddy Bridgewater, quarterback for Louiville, hero of the Big East title game, in this game program from Louisville's match-up with UConn last weekeend.

Yesterday, we asked you an important question: How badly did you want to see Ryan Lochte's alleged cock? A photo had been offered to us. We had looked it over, and before launching negotiations with our source, we decided to gauge your interest in the photo first, via an Indiegogo pledge drive. Eleven of you…

Deadspin is presently in negotiations with a person who is in possession of a photograph of a penis. The penis supposedly belongs to Olympic gold/silver/bronze swimming medalist Ryan Lochte. The photograph is a neck-down bathroom-mirror self-portrait, in which the tip of the penis almost but not quite reaches into the…

61-year-old Jill Makinson-Sanders is mayor of Louth, Lincolnshire, England, a cozy town of 15,000 in the English countryside. (Jim Broadbent lives nearby.) Small-town politicians, as a matter of habit, do what they can to put their towns and their towns' industries on the national map. Makinson-Sanders says Louth has…

Welcome back to Unintentional Dong Submissions: Weekend Edition. Here are this week's everyday occurences that struck you, the reader, as phalluses. Phalli? Whatever. This one, the floor plan for the Bellagio in Ocean's Eleven comes courtesy of Mike. Be sure to send in any would-be penises to the tips department.

Fear not, dong lovers. Everyone's favorite Freudian Rorschach test is still here, we're just doing it on the weekends now. So, please, keep submitting all those gems, like this virile taproot submitted by reader Lars.

It seems have if unintentional dongs have now infiltrated the medicinal world. Here, Joel S. provides a festering diddy from a Mucinex commercial.

Why, yes, of course this is news.

Here's to you, Virginia Beach bros, dreaming the dream. For the record, a lot of you tipsters took the time to rewind and record this momentous occasion.

From now on, he really is going to be known as Metta World Peace. And he's changing his number. No, not that one. [Yahoo]

It's August 25, the day after we were told that yesterday's shorter WUD post format was unacceptable. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors

"[Phillip, penis-less man]Seaton's lawyer, Kevin George, told the jury during opening arguments that his client doesn't feel like a man. He showed the jury four photographs of Seaton's groin saying, "You can see there's nothing there." Four photographs seems excessive. [Jackson Sun]

Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less.

The Holy Trinity Church in Scarborough, UK is a perfectly nice, old building with apartments for sale.

Could it be made with the patterned logo of a team other than the Steelers? I suppose so, but, you know, no one other than Pittsburgh fans have asked about it.

Check out junior in the Posluszny jersey. Now check out his crotch, you pervert. At least it's Buffalo, so he can always have the "it was cold" excuse.