dong Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don’t be surprised if Kevin Love is really good in the Olympics
Experience matters and Kevin Love has it....
Get ready for the end, old folks (and James Robinson)
My head is spinning with the amount of new data to process from the NFL Draft. I love the draft. I’m that nerd that keeps his own spreadsheet to track picks, and you bet I’m looking at it right now for this article. New players mean new competitions for playing time, so let’s take a little spin arou...
The long, strange path of Brandon Graham, quietly one of the best players in Eagles history
It wasn’t quite Eagles fans booing Donovan McNabb at the podium for the crime of not being Rickey Williams at the 1999 draft, but no one was happy with the Eagles’ first selection in the 2010 Draft, either....
Entire Team Quarantined in Disney’s Stupid ‘Athlete Bubble’ as More Test Positive
They’re spending Independence Day in lockdown....
It Took A Global Pandemic, But The Opportunity Is Here To Fix MLS' Dreadful Playoff System
When talking about MLS, it always feels necessary to proclaim your position and biases from the outset. Generally, any fight about the structure or workings of the domestic soccer league starts a food-fight of varying grossness, so it’s a good idea to stake out your position clearly so you know whic...
High School Cancels Football Season, Fires Coaching Staff After Suspended Player Suits Up With New Identity
A high school in St. Louis canceled the remainder of its undefeated football team’s season and fired the entire coaching staff after it was revealed that a suspended player suited up in a different uniform and played a game....
Howie Kendrick Finally Has A Legacy
You’d be forgiven, Nats fans, if you wanted Howie Kendrick out of the game long before his instantly legendary grand slam in the top of the 10th that won the Nationals their first-ever playoff series. Kendrick, despite turning in a pleasant surprise of a 2019 season that saw him become one of Washin...
He Never Intended To Become A Political Dissident, But Then He Started Beating Up Tai Chi Masters
On a recent Thursday evening in August, a 40-year-old MMA gym owner in Beijing named Xu Xiaodong activated his VPN, hopped over the Chinese government’s internet firewall, and began his first-ever live YouTube broadcast. He wanted to talk about the ongoing protests in Hong Kong, in which hundreds of...
Julian Edelman Was Horrified By The Sight Of Bill Belichick's Dick And Balls Emerging From A Hot Tub
Bill Belichick: masterful strategist, Patriots legend, nude hot tubber. That last image is now unfortunately stuck in your brain, never to get out, because of Pats wide receiver Julian Edelman....
Brandon Graham Shows His Enemy's Face To His Mother, Who Surely Shall Taste Sweet Vengeance
Eagles defensive end Brandon Graham made one of the more impressive, albeit statistically unrecognized, plays to thwart the first of Green Bay’s two important fourth-quarter red-zone drives Thursday night. On second-and-goal from the one-yard line, Graham sniffed out a play-action bootleg play, cut ...
Tarik Cohen Unwittingly Exposes A Nude Kyle Long To The World
The Chicago Bears keep a rowdy locker room after wins, and after they smoked Washington on the road Monday night, they turned the visitor’s locker room into “Club Dub.” Everyone had a good time! Head coach Matt Nagy threw his arms around a bunch! Running back Tarik Cohen accidentally showed his tea...
Report: MLS Will Expand To St. Louis, Might Not Completely Fleece The City For A Stadium
Congratulations, St. Louis! According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the city has successfully thrown enough money around and greased the right wheels to win economic promotion to MLS!...
Vlad Guerrero Jr.'s Righteous Dong Sent The Yankees To Hell Where They Belong
The vile and hideous New York Yankees were, inexplicably, somehow on the verge of maybe winning a game on Wednesday night, until a legend in the making shut them down. The Yanks have rightfully tasted victory only once in the month of June, and to prevent that disaster from happening again, the Toro...
Report: U.S. Navy Cracks Case Of Majestic Sky Dick
The gigantic contrail dick that graced the skies over Washington state’s Okanogan County in November 2017 was, it has long been known, the work of some number of pilots out of Naval Air Station Whidbey Island. After all, the Navy immediately apologized for the celestial dong, describing it as “unacc...
Rangers Teammates Celebrate Two-Run Dong By Grabbing Each Other's Dingers
It’d be safe to assume that Joey Gallo and Nomar Mazara are friends, as they’ve played on the Texas Rangers together for four seasons and love to mash taters, but as this post-homer celebration shows, they’re really good friends....
Nick Foles And His Dong Are Now Free To Go Elsewhere
Eagles general manager Howie Roseman made no attempt to yank anyone’s chain during his presser today at the NFL combine in Indianapolis: Nick Foles will not be given the franchise tag, which means Nick Foles and his reportedly gigantic hog will hit free agency. There was nothing soft about Foles’s s...
Andy Murray Regrets That You Saw Through His Dick
The Andy-Murray-shared-a-post-surgery-x-ray-of-his-hip-in-which-the-outline-of-his-dong-is-clearly-visible story is somehow entering its third day, and Murray, for one, is over it....
Notts County Owner Accidentally Tweets Dong Shot, Announces Intent To Sell Team, Says The Two Are Unrelated
Before this weekend, English businessman Alan Hardy owned both Notts County, a fourth-tier English soccer club, and a penis the vast majority of the world had never seen. After his accidentally revealing tweet on Sunday, both of those facts will need to be revised....
Mookie Betts's 13-Pitch Grand Slam At-Bat Is Best Viewed In Its Entirety
The best short film of the summer has arrived, and it’s Red Sox outfielder Mookie Betts patiently working through a 13-pitch at-bat against Blue Jays pitcher J.A. Happ before socking a grand slam dinger over that big Green Monster in left field. It’s got pathos—Justin Smoak dropping a foul pop-up ju...
Manny Machado Is Smashing Dongs Against The Yankees While He Still Has The Chance
Orioles shortstop Manny Machado is very likely going to be out of Baltimore by the end of the month, and if you believe the whispers, the Yankees are one of the teams that badly want to trade for him. For now, though, as the Yanks battle the Orioles at Camden, Machado remains an enemy of all that is...