dor Page 89 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!!!!
Courtesy of Jimmy Traina's XXX-tra Mustard Twitter page. [NSFWNSFWNSFW]...

Lance Broadway and Gerald Laird Would Make An Excellent Battery
Major league journeymen sure are punchy this offseason. Former White Sox/Met and current Blue Jay minor leaguer Lance Broadway is being sued for rearranging a man's face at a New Year's Eve party in Dallas. While shirtless, of course....

Last Night's Winner: Clappers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who enjoy giving standing ovations every time they hear something they like. Try this in your regular life today and see how it goes....

Paraguayan Soccer Star Shot In Head, Crime Scene Photos Hit Twitter
Salvador Cabañas—a striker for Paraguay's World Cup team—was shot in the head last night in Mexico. He is in critical condition, with the bullet still lodged in his brain, but that's not going to stop ghoulish rubbernecking....

It's Winter, So That Means Many Publications Will Rank Ladies Based On Physical Attributes
Like AskMen.com, which has released its annual "Top 99 Women" gallery. Find out which starlets campaigned for Obama (many), who has designed a tin condom and which semi-famous girl started her career as a Sports By Brooks gal. [AskMen.com]...

Goal Of The Year? Goal Of The Year.
The ECHL's Victoria Salmon Kings get their puck-handling on, and inspire an entire generation of aspiring athletes to think pass first. Oh wait, no they didn't....

How Lane Kiffin Resurrected, Then Destroyed Tennessee's Recruiting Program
Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron quickly turned Tennessee recruiting in a national superstar, but their noisy exit could not have come at a worse time and will leave the Volunteers worse off than when they took over....

Last Night's Winner: Junior Gotti
In sportslife, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like (alleged!!) mobster John Gotti III, who is so good at not getting convicted that federal prosecutors have given up trying. He's on fire!...

Today In The Deadspin Society Pages: The McCoy-Glandorf Engagement
Need to make your woman realize you're not as successful or talented as Colt McCoy? Or that your proposal was inferior by comparison, her ring a dingleberry on the ass of Rachel Glandorf's? You've come to the right place....

Colt McCoy's Proposal Is Hotter Than Shrimp Vindaloo
Yesterday it was revealed that the Longhorn quarterback bended-knee'd Rachel Glandorf in the middle of Royal-Memorial stadium like any good Texas quarterback is born and raised to do. She said yes, of course. Brooks has pictures....

Last Night's Winner: Impressionable Student-Athletes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all the current and prospective college athletes who should finally be disabused of any illusions about the promises their coaches don't plan to keep....

Today in TMZish Sports: J.J. Redick, Rachel Glandorf, Olivia Namath, Wes Welker, And The Almighty Beaver
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

You Can Barely Contain The Deadspin Mailbag
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering pants, nail clippings, drinking alone, and bank robbing....

Philadelphia: Home Of Rotten Fans, Underachieving Teams And Dick Towels
I'm not sure what the context of the poor woman doing the "news" is for sure, but it appears the usual post-mortem at Chickie's and Pete's where they get crowd reactions from drunk people about the Eagles game....

Indecisive Hurdler Discovers Breast Implants Don't Improve Leaping Ability
Australia's Jana Rawlinson was not happy with her body's natural curves, so like a lot of women, she decided to get breast implants. Then she remembered that she was an Olympic-caliber hurdler and silicon is heavier than air....

Overgrown Monster Man And Peppy She-Child Make Beautiful Music
Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere, besides exploding my spellchecker, have been photographed canoodling (this is a word that only applies to celebrity couples). Do with this news what you will. [Pacific Coast News]...

For Those Girls About To Mosh, We Salute You
Just cuz. I've been mesmerized by this all day. [YouTube]...

Bengals Cheerleader Files Suit Against The Dirty.com Over Horrid STD Rumor
The woman, identified as "Sarah J" in The Dirty's post and "Jane Doe" in the lawsuit, claims the website libeled her when they published an email suggesting her ex-boyfriend was a disease-riddled scuzzbot who probably infected her with something scabby....

Boston's "Santa Speedo Run" Brings Out All Sorts Of People
And not just ones who like to celebrate Christmas by showing off how a corporate membership at the Boston Sports Club has sculpted their bodies. No, it also brings out the lurking perverts. (Not Jay Mariotti.) [Boston.com]...

Just Because He Tapes His Penis To His Thigh Is No Reason To Judge
"After David Akers nails 55 YD FG in practice, Jon Dorenbos exhalts in celebration, screaming, 'Einhorn's a man!'" [Via]...