dor Page 92 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lance Armstrong Has Failed Everyone
Alberto Contador has won his second Tour de France. Livestrong, Alberto! One person who's thrilled about this news? This precocious, Tour-loving five-year-old. [SI]...
Sumo Cycling: The Next Great Olympic Sport
Perhaps Lance Armstrong would secretly like his teammate Alberto Contador to be pinned down by this extremely zealous fan, so he can win an eighth race....
Lance Not Livestrong Enough
Lance Armstrong moved to second place in the Tour de France this weekend, but fell almost two minutes behind his teammate, Alberto Contador. Oh, the indignity of the wingman, fighting for scraps as his "partner" reaps all the glory....
Nike Just Steals It
A woman in California is accusing the King Kong of clothing companies of stealing her trademarked slogan. Thankfully, this is America, where large, filthy rich corporations don't stand a chance against your average Jane Citizen....
Dana White Promises Scary Russian Man Will Be Next To Fight Brock Lesnar
Messy contractual things have to be finalized but White is determined to have Fedor Emelianenko step in the cage with the angry ex-professional wrestler and controversial UFC heavyweight champion. Emelianenko has disposed of much bigger men before. [Cage Writer]...
UFC 100 Will Be The Biggest Event Ever!!!
I'm not an MMA guy. I haven't ordered anything on pay-per-view since Wrestlemania VI. But even I know that tonight is something special....
Teammate Is Totally Undermining Lance Armstrong
Alberto Contador unexpectedly moved into second, and the Tour de France suddenly went all Brandy vs. Monica. Lance: "Things didn't really go according to the plan we mapped out before. I was a little surprised, but it doesn't matter." [AFP]...
Lance Armstrong Can't Not Be The Top Dog
Lance Armstrong said he just wanted to get some exercise and maybe promote his wristbands, because after four years off, expecting him to win the Tour de France would just be silly. What's that? He's in first place now? Lovely....
Kidnappers Take Yorvit Torrealba's Son, Mock His Batting Average
All is well now that Yorvit Torrealba's son has been rescued from kidnappers in Venezuela and brought to the United States, but the hardest part of the boy's ordeal was trying defend Dad's .220 batting average to his captors....
David Ortiz Suffering From Mr. Magoo Syndrome
There are already a million theories as to why David Ortiz has suddenly and cruelly turned into Junior Ortiz, but now David has one of his own to throw into the mix. He needs thicker glasses....
Yorvit Torrealba's Son Rescued From Kidnappers
The Colorado catcher's 11-year-old son and two of the boy's uncles were kidnapped in Venezuela, but escaped before any ransom was paid. The incident was kept quiet by police and MLB until it was resolved. (Safely, thank goodness.) [Denver Post]...
David Ortiz Is Still Worth More Than General Motors
David Ortiz's putrid 2009 numbers — .185, 1 HR, 18 RBI, 48 strikeouts — don't qualify for a government bailout, as his statistics translate to an approximate worth on the free agent market of negative $5.2 million. At least he's more valuable than Delmon Young. [Fangraphs, via Simon on Sports]...
The End Of The Rocky Road For Clint Hurdle
Sources say! Clint Hurdle will be fired after seven years (really?) as Colorado's manager and just a little over one season removed from the team's World Series appearance. Does anyone have a John Denver CD I can borrow? [Denver Post]...
Holy Crap, David Ortiz Hit A Home Run
Light-hitting Boston infielder becomes the 320th major league player to hit a home run this season. It's okay to believe in America again, people. [Boston Herald]...
Calling All Baseball Dorks! Bill James And Joe Posnanski, In Conversation!
They're talking about Randy Johnson, but does it really matter? I've written slash fiction about this very moment. [SI.com]...
A Day At The Races, With Larry King!
Item: CNN's Larry King, the former USA Today Beat poet and godfather of Twitter, has a new memoir dropping. Today's excerpt, in which a down-and-out Larry hits the racetrack, is as awesome as you'd expect....
Big Papi Needs A Hug
Theories abound as to why David Ortiz continues to be Big Stinky this season: lingering wrist injury, PED withdrawal, swine flu, etc....
Red Sox Fans Still Waiting On David Ortiz
He should break out of this slump any day now. Yup ... any ... day now. [Major League Jerk]...
Toledo Athletes Accused Of Point Shaving
Six basketball and football players from the University of Toledo and two men from the Detroit area have been indicted on charges of "conspiracy to commit sports bribery" for shaving points between 2004 and 2006....
Big Papi Fires Warning Shot Over Joba's Bow
Their series doesn't begin until tomorrow, but David Ortiz thought he'd get in a preemptive strike today against Joba Chamberlain and the Yankees. Hey Joba, please don't throw at our noggins....