draft Page 74 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
1st Round, Tenth Overall: Patriots Select Jerod Mayo
The Patriots finally picked up a linebacker under 35! And of course, they caught a few people off guard (guilty) by grabbing a guy who was low on many draft boards. Mayo started his Tennessee career at outside linebacker, but moved to the middle in 2007, and while he made a lot of plays (140 tackle...
1st Round, Ninth Overall: Bengals Select Keith Rivers
Keep standing pat, ye mighty Bengals! The Jags and Pats leapt over you to take defenders you so badly needed, guys you targeted so heavily that you sent your line coach to molest them at their pro days. Your star wide receiver plans to toilet paper team headquarters. Your other receiver, whose name...
1st Round, Eighth Overall: Ravens Jaguars Select Derrick Harvey
We used to call guys like Harvey "tweeners." Now they're called "hybrids." Scouting gibberish has gone green...
1st Round, Seventh Overall: Patriots Saints Select Sedrick Ellis
The Patriots, wheeling and dealing? Next thing you know they'll be doing something shifty. Without waiting for the details, I am going to assume that they just took the Saints first round picks thru 2017 to allow them to move up five slots....
1st Round, Sixth Overall: Jets Select BBBOOOOOOOOO Vernon Gholston BBOOOOOOOOO
Anybody else have this problem? Every once in a while, it sounds like Mike Mayock's mic gives out. It sounds like an evil droid from Star Wars, or the serial killer on the cell phone from a bad horror movie, or something from Kid A. Getting on my nerves, but not enough to make me switch to ESPN....
1st Round, Third Overall: Falcons Select Matty Ice
The Falcons wish to remain anonymous. After a year of dog torturing and climb-out-the bathroom-window coach quitting, the team would like to return to the quiet old days when David Archer was the quarterback and the average crowd rivaled the turnout on the Asia reunion tour. They hired someone name...
1st Round, Second Overall: Rams Take Chris Long
Did you know that Chris Long is Howie Long's son? No kidding! The media really has been doing a swell job keeping that tidbit under wraps. Yes, Long is the scion of the Hall of Fame lineman and impeccably-coiffed FOX analysis android. Howie Long was so spectacular in his playing days that a pass ru...
Your Weekend Of Name Recitation And Breathless Speculation Hath Arrived!
Yes, ESPN's draft coverage is underway, four hours before the Dolphins shock the world by picking Jake Long. Now they're saying Chris Long is going to the Rams. Let's tip all the picks hours in advance. No reason to make it so people actually watch the draft. For those who stick around, choose betwe...
All Right, All Right, We'll Watch The Draft
OK, so Drew absolutely convinced us: We're actually gonna watch a little bit of the draft this weekend. And not just because we're crossing our fingers that our Buzzsaw will end up with the Illini's Rashard Mendenhall. Though we are....
So, Will Anybody Draft Troubled Tommy Blake?
One of the best stories featured on ESPN's Schaaptastic E:60 show was Michael Smith's profile of troubled Texas Christian University defensive lineman Tommy Blake. Blake, who at one point in his college career was on the fast-track to the NFL, derailed early his senior year. He was a no-show for man...
A Brief Conversation With Mike Mamula
This morning I had a brief chat with everybody's favorite (OK, my favorite) ex-Philadelphia Eagles and draft day legend Mike Mamula. Surprisingly, even though his name is brought up during practically every NFL draft analysis, he hasn't received any phone calls this week....
If You Don't Like The NFL Draft, You Can Suck It: Your NFL Draft Jamboroo
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo has been off since the end of the NFL season. But now, with Saturday's NFL draft looming, it returns, for one week only....
The Countdown To A Recitation Of Names You Don't Know Begins Now
As we've made clear before, we have a hard time firing ourselves up for the NFL Draft. It's the type of weird madhouse obsession with young men who are just trying to figure themselves out that ends up leading to situations like the one with Kevin Hart. It's a big list of names of people you don't k...
JaVale McGee Has NBA Upside, Says Mommy
It seems like a safe bet to say that Nevada center JaVale McGee will be a first round pick in the NBA Draft this summer. He has a 7-foot body, is athletic, and Chad Ford has him at No. 17 in his prospect rankings. Pretty admirable, no? But clearly this level-headed analysis is selling the precious M...
Timberwolves Double Down On The Lottery
When you're the Minnesota Timberwolves, you have to lure in season ticket buyers by any means necessary. So they've come up with quite the novel plan: They're tying ticket prices to which lottery pick the team gets....
This Is What The Dolphins See In (S)Him
These two festive ladies are not your regular Sugar Free Red Bull-guzzling party girls you'd find at Making Time. No, these big, strapping dollies are actually former Michigan offensive lineman. The one with the crutches is Adam Kraus. The one with the shaved belly and blue hair is potential number...
The Cowboys Are Quite Stealth
We are pleased that we don't work in a field as compulsively paranoid as professional football. (The world of online journalism is typically too narcotically enhanced to have time for paranoia.) Every move, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant, is in danger of being swiped by another team...
Kevin Smith Keeps The Draft Updates Coming
We've been very much enjoying Central Florida running back (and draft prospect) Kevin Smith's YouTube updates on what's been going on during his draft workouts and combines. He doesn't mean to toot his own horn, but … TOOT TOOT!...
White People Make Us Laugh
More fun from the NFL Draft Combine: Vivid reminders that, as we all know and love from the world of comedy, black people are so much cooler than white people. This is quite vividly illustrated when they are stripped down to their underwear and asked to move around....
The NFL Network's Weekend Of Scantily Clad Men
We've said this before, but it bears repeating: The NFL Combine has always creeped us out. Call us old-fashioned, but we just can't muster the appropriate interest in recruiting and draft prospect stories. We like to see a guy show up on our team and then see how he fits in. We know: We're a geezer....