The Buffalo Bills will play their first home game of the season this Sunday against the Chargers. (The last time those two teams played, Nathan Peterman threw five picks in a half.) Hordes of Zubaz-clad Bills fans will presumably mark the home opener as is tradition: by getting mega drunk and trying to obliterate any…

Bars—except those that only take cash, and more power to those—would all be improved by doing two things that are already common in some parts of the country. It appears that nearly all bars in the South do these two things, for instance, while anecdotal (though intensive) reporting suggests that no bar in the…

Today is Melbourne Cup day, the most wonderful time of the year, the designated and officially sanctioned horserace/alcohol drinking competition when thousands and thousands of Aussies dress up in their finest duds and get blitzed while intrepid photographers capture it all in order to delight of the rest of us.

You may have read Hunter S. Thompson’s famous article recounting the rampant debauchery at the Kentucky Derby and thought you’d glimpsed the true, beating heart of insane white people shit. But you’d have been mistaken. It’s not until you see these photos of the Melbourne Cup, Australia’s most drunken and depraved…

Incoming Lakers head coach Luke Walton was a rookie in L.A. once upon a time, and he joined up right at the tail end of the first era of dominant Kobe Bryant teams. Yesterday, he told a story about Kobe’s intensity back in those days to Jesse Williams on his “Open Run” podcast yesterday. He showed up to practice…

Recently I’ve gotten some practice in the art of hanging out with very drunk people while not imbibing anything myself. In the process, I developed two general strategies to make this scenario a little livelier.

Andre the Giant’s drinking prowess is nearly as legendary as his stature or pro wrestling career, and we’ve featured plenty of anecdotes about his alcohol tolerance in the past. But an interview with retired pro wrestling legend Gerald Brisco in this morning’s Tampa Bay Times (the article’s not online, somehow)…

Going out to dinner with friends can easily become a big event—after agreeing to share a meal together, you’ll have to choose the cuisine, the restaurant, and whether to invite that one person everyone has been avoiding for a few weeks. The decisions don’t end there. Once you settle in at the restaurant, and everyone…

When you go to pluck a Budweiser from a cooler anytime between May 23 and the November election, it will plainly read “America,” as if brewed from our very amber waves of grain. (Though their site informs us that they borrow some of Canada’s barley waves too.) This is great news for anyone looking to get their…

About two years ago, I quit drinking. Initially, I didn’t attempt to “mask” my teetotalism at social gatherings: I’d meet a group at a bar, never order anything, and give long-winded answers to anyone who asked why. As my friends and coworkers can attest, it can be awkward as hell being stone-cold sober in a crowd of…

A moment of silence for the dignity of everyone who responded when we asked you to tell us about a time you peed your pants. You have no shame, and you should be proud of that. But my God! A lot of you have pissed yourselves at inopportune times! Here are the best of those stories.

According to a recent study on this very website, quite a few people make serious life decisions under the influence of alcohol. Go figure! On Friday, we asked our readers to tell us about the craziest things they’ve bought while drunk, and among the usual stuff (tattoos, memorabilia, and a subscription to the Dairy…

What do an electronic megaphone, a case of Prosecco, and a “Welcome” sign featuring a pensive chocolate lab (pictured above) have in common? They’re all things I’ve purchased while hammered. Now, let us commiserate: Tell us your most outlandish drunk purchase.

Beloved as a hip-hop eccentric, Kool Keith is best known for traveling at the speed of thought with the Ultramagnetic MC’s and, as a solo artist, embracing a wide range of brilliant personas, from Dr. Octagon to Black Elvis to Clean Man. Another of those characters goes by the name of Fly Ricky the Wine Taster, who…

When you’re drinking on a weeknight, you never think you’re going to drink to the point of having a horrid hangover the next day. So, you agree to happy hour... with the promise to yourself that you’ll only drink a very responsible two drinks and then leave the bar. After your third, you swear you’ll stay for just one…

Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week we addressed how to interact with the ladies and dinner parties; today, we’ll tackle dealing with drunk friends.

Your letters:

No one's coming over to your house for a flaming cocktail. Conversely, no one's coming over to your house if you have no booze at all. You don't need to get too wild, but you need to be prepared. Friend, you need to stock a home bar.

Evidently these have been around for a while, but they're new to me. BuzzBallz: Regret In a Can. BuzzBallz: Liquid Cold-Sore. BuzzBallz: Convex Around the Sides, Like Your Abdomen When Fluid Accumulates In Your Peritoneal Cavity as a Result of the Liver Cirrhosis You Get From Living the Kind of Life That Involves…