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Major League Baseball's War On Drugs Is An Immoral Shitshow
Major league ballplayers should never have agreed to drug testing. They should have told any handwringing writer who had anything to say about it to fuck right off, and they should have said the same to any handwringing politician who wanted to do something about it. They should have made clear that...

Scott Boras Says MLB's War On PEDs Is All Backwards
Baseball came down hard on Alex Rodriguez, seeking—and achieving--stacked suspensions for each violation of the joint drug agreement. But what if MLB is going about things all wrong? Scott Boras believes that to truly quash its drug problem, baseball needs to go after the dealers, not the users....

Here's Some Audio From Boomer Esiason's Stoned <em>MNF</em> Broadcast
Last week, we learned about the time Boomer Esiason and Matt Millen got contact high while doing a radio broadcast for a Monday Night Football game in December 2000. Yesterday, Boomer shared some of his marijuana-infused commentary from that game on his daily radio show....

Boomer Esiason Says He And Matt Millen Got Stoned During <i>MNF</i> Broadcast
Remember the first time you went to a party and had, like, a sip of alcohol and couldn't stop talking about how wasted you were? This is a lot like that. Boomer Esiason does Monday Night Football color commentary on the radio and recently revealed that in his first year on the broadcast he and Mil...

Ohio State DE Was Suspended For Ecstasy
On New Year's Day it was announced that Ohio State's all-conference defensive end Noah Spence was suspended for three games, including the Orange Bowl. Now we know why. Spence's family says he tested positive for ecstasy, and had to argue his suspension down from a full season because the Big Ten co...

The Grim, Coppish Concerns And Macho Sketchiness Of Paul Lo Duca
This is part of an ongoing series in which, with the help of friends and associates, we're reviewing the merits—and relative lack of merits—of the players on this year's Hall of Fame ballot. All entries in the series can be found here....

Rafael Palmeiro Was The Ideal Steroids Scapegoat
Rafael Palmeiro was going to stroll into the Hall of Fame. It's sort of unbelievable to remember this fact, as we try to gaze back over the ruptured fault line between the Steroids Era and the Steroids Recriminations Era. There wasn't really anything to argue about, back then. He was in....

Should You Try To Eat Your Marijuana During A Police Stop?
Texas A&M linebacker Darian Claiborne was arrested for possession of weed and Adderall, which he'd hidden in a giant Hershey's kiss ornament in his friend's car. Should he have tried to eat the weed instead? Here again is our guide on the matter. ...

We Have Found The Worst Thing On The Internet
Some guy kept pestering us to post this, presumably in hopes that it would go "viral." Well, it certainly deserves to. Help this guy out, Internet....

Never Let A Cop In Your House: The Will Graves Story
This story is so stupid, I feel bad making you read it, but it's a teachable moment. Former North Carolina guard, Will Graves, was cited last week for misdemeanor charges when cops searched his home and found eight marijuana seeds, three (!) blunts and two burnt blunts, all helpfully scare-quoted in...

Is Kobe Blood Doping? What Those Trips To Germany Are Really About
Kobe Bryant is just back from a ruptured Achilles tendon, but that doesn't mean the rest of him is magically fixed. He's still got to deal with all the damage that 18 years of professional basketball inflicts on the human body. In recent years, that's meant a trip to Germany and a promising, somewha...

How A Secret Informant Program Got Air Force's Star RB Expelled
Asher Clark remains the second leading rusher in the history of the Air Force Academy. He was kicked out of school in 2012, less than a week before he was to graduate, on charges of smoking synthetic marijuana. How the academy nailed Clark, and several other athletes on charges ranging from drug use...

Steve Weatherford Was Drug Tested One Day After A Career Game
Yesterday, Giants punter Steve Weatherford had a banner day. He led the NFL in net average, had two punts over 65 yards, and placed two inside the 20-yard-line. Today, he had to pee in a cup. ...

Shirtless, Slurring Lamar Odom Freestyle Raps In Sad Video
Here's some shit that will bum you out. According to TMZ, this video of a shirtless and fucked-up-on-something Lamar Odom freestyle rapping with some other dude was shot sometime in the last month. If that's true, it doesn't look like Odom's recovery from substance abuse issues is going too well....

Cracking Up With Charlie Barnett, The Legendary Street Comic
Originally published in the Village Voice (date unknown). Anthologized in the author's collection of reportage, No Success Like Failure. For a sort of companion to this, check out Solotaroff's dispatch from an Andrew Dice Clay show in 1989. The author's afterword is here....

A-Rod Storms Out Of Hearing, Says MLB Is "Full Of Shit"
The Alex Rodriguez Show rolls on! And gets better with every episode. Today, according to reports, Rodriguez swore, walked out of his arbitration hearing, and said he won't participate any more after it was ruled that Bud Selig would not have to testify....

Here's What Crack Actually Does To Your Brain
You know Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoked crack. But scientifically, do you know what crack does to the brain, and how its side effects manifest? Here's AsapSCIENCE with a quick and dirty rundown on how crack works and its side effects, including the gross, gross, gross delusional parasitosis, which I...

Len Bias Would've Been 50 Today
Len Bias is long gone, having overdosed on cocaine in 1986, two days after being drafted by the Boston Celtics. But as we wrote earlier this year, Bias is still very much alive in our politics. ...

Falcons Fullback Allegedly Tries To Eat Marijuana After Traffic Stop
Oh, Jason Snelling....

Report: MLB's A-Rod Witch Hunt Hamstrung A State Investigation
There are already plenty of reasons to call bullshit on Major League Baseball's crusade against Alex Rodriguez, but here's another one....