drunk Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

24 Light Beers, Ranked
Raise your hand if you're even fatter now than you were on New Year's Day. No, your other hand, the one that isn't strangling a donut. Oh, I see. Well, do you have a third hand? Never mind, the tear tracks carved through your powdered-sugar beard are affirmation enough....

Russian Beers, Ranked
When we think of Russian drinking customs, we like to envision steely-eyed, furry-hatted folk guzzling vodka with silent partners, grim determination, and maybe a pickle. That image has a certain nihilistic charm. It's less romantic to acknowledge that too many of these sad bastards wind up taking ...

Bar Games, Ranked
Wait a minute, you can only watch the real, live Olympics on weirdo foreign computer TV at 3:00 in the morning? So my fellow ancients and I don't get to see our beloved curling and snowboarding, or even any of the lesser face-first sledding events, until whichever not-Costas is working finally deign...

Our Booze-Free Month Is Over. Hallelujah!
If you are reading this, you've stuck with us through another Drynuary. And you're probably on the cusp of letting Drynuary ride off into the sunset, like we are! Well, like SOME of us. [COUGH! Jolie! COUGH!] Who is probably reading this through rosé colored glasses....

13 Drinks To Get You Through The Worst Month Of The Year
Did any of you wasters (pretend to) go alcohol-free in January? I know Jolie did, and I considered joining her, because I'm a big proponent of limiting your gross booze intake any way you can. Obviously year-round moderation is the best way to do it, but many of us just aren't wired that way, nor do...

Here Is Video Of A Footrace Between Staffers Last Night
We'll be with you shortly....

11 Shots Of Liquor, Reconsidered
Good afternoon! Let me tell you how to run your wedding. Just kidding, no one cares about your wedding. Now, back to my wedding: We sprung for the all-you-can-guzzle beer and wine buffet, but we didn't serve hard liquor. This is partly because we're cheapskates and partly because we're sane—the rece...

Our Month Without Booze Is Past The Midpoint. Shit's Getting Real.
Week Three. The Wall. We warned you that Week Three would be the hardest. The novelty of Drynuary definitely wears off by now, boredom creeps in with a vengeance, and somehow you have to negotiate the interminable two weeks between the NFL conference championships and the Super Bowl without your fav...

How Much Should You Tip Your Bartender? More Than You're Tipping Now
A friend recently asked Twitter if she should tip the guy who painted a room in her house. I told her painters are creeps and criminals and hers could be counted upon to gratuitize himself via her sock and silverware drawers, because I resort to stereotyping when I'm scared and confused, and I don't...

The Month Without Booze Is A Week Old. I'm Great! How Are You?
Hi ho campers, and welcome to Week Two of Drynuary. We think of Drynuary as being a lot like summer camp: you're out of your element, perhaps meeting new people. You're probably also discovering new activities to pass the time, or rediscovering old ones. There might be tears involved. If you're wri...

Let's Make A Really Good Bloody Mary, For Once
When I was a dirty young man working at a low-end marketing outfit, I scoffed at the tagline for the office-approved Dockers-rock station that played all day in any cube pod where the clip artisans outnumbered the conference callers. In between Lilith Fair dirges, furniture store ads, and the softer...

Michelle Rodriguez Got Drunk, Made Out With A Model At The Knicks Game
The Knicks' 89-85 victory over the Pistons last night was less a basketball game than a war of attrition waged by two armies that can't shoot straight. So what's a celebrity like Michelle Rodriguez supposed to do while sitting courtside at such a miserable sporting event? Get shitfaced, obviously....

Chart: Does Your Choice Of Booze Reveal Your Politics?
The chart above, produced by the right-leaning research firm NMRPP and first published in the Washington Post last week, shows the comparative political inclinations (and relative voter turnouts) associated with the drinkers of various major liquor brands....

I'm Going A Month Without Booze, For Some Reason. Join Me?
Drynuary. The reality is as unattractive as the word: An entire month* without alcohol. That means no beer in front of football, no after-work glass of wine. No going out for one too many drinks with that friend you haven't seen in ages but can pick up with like your last conversation was yesterday....

New Year's Eve: America's Biggest And Ugliest Bender
Originally published in 1951 and anthologized in Nobody Asked Me, But ...: The World of Jimmy Cannon....

Why We Get Stupid And Shitfaced On New Year's Eve: A Cultural History
This article originally appeared in The New York Observer in 1993 and is anthologized in Luc's wonderful collection of essays, Kill All Your Darlings. ...
![[UPDATE: Bullshit] Santa And His Helper Crash Sleigh, Could Face Drunk-Driving Charges](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/wsr6t1fjet6wj1me3ggx.jpg)
[UPDATE: Bullshit] Santa And His Helper Crash Sleigh, Could Face Drunk-Driving Charges
Update (10:05 a.m. June 12, 2015): BuzzFeed has a good story about how this report was total bullshit. The original post is below....

Cool Old Map: How Did Your State Get Its Liquor During Prohibition?
The map above—from a 1931 issues of Fortune Magazine—tracks the production and transportation of wine, beer, and various hard liquors in the U.S., right at the tail end of Prohibition. It's an old map but it's new to us; make sure to check out the hard-cider swath of Northern New England, the bootle...

An Ode To One Of America's Best Dive Bars
You've probably never heard of Bowling Green unless its college basketball team, the Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky, has broken your bracket, one year or another. The city sits between Louisville and Nashville, and people drive there from all over southern Kentucky to eat, to shop, and, most of all...

Jets Fan's Drunken Tirade Is A Symphony Of F-Bombs
Seamlessly, this steakhead even manages to squeeze in a few chants for Geno Smith to tear his ACL. All without spilling his beer. It also looks like dude pissed his pants. A bravura performance of stupidity. This is like watching the id of every Jets fan....