drunk Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

As If Being Arrested For DUI While Riding A Horse Weren't Bad Enough, The Cops Found His Moonshine
Lexington, Kentucky. Home to basketball, bluegrass, bourbon, and—strangely—the best Cuban sandwich I've ever eaten. It's also home to horses, some of which are people's modes of transportation. When a man found himself running afoul of Johnny Law while atop his steed, it seems that makes it a story...

Cockblocked By An Anal Fistula!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

There's A Lot Going On In This Photo Of A Passed-Out Oregon Ducks Fan Being Ogled By A Creepy Clown
Tipster Natalie sends along this incredible/weird image from the Oregon-Arkansas State game a couple of weekends ago in Eugene. It really requires no further explanation, but Natalie says the photo was taken by her son, whose friend is the creep in the crown mask. (Sorry, if you're in a clown mask f...

Drunk 9/11 Hippie Girl Speaks Out: "I Wanted To Make A Tribute"
On Tuesday, we brought you the tale of a Phillies superfan that one tipster dubbed "Drunk 9/11 Hippie Girl," a moniker based on (a) her presumed level of intoxication, (b) her unwavering patriotism, and (c) her obvious predilection for wearing headbands and bracelets and expressive body paint. After...

"Drunk 9/11 Hippie Girl" Pays Tribute With Body Paint, Foam Finger (UPDATE)
Every American offered remembrance to 9/11 in their own way. For many people, that was done in ways personal and private. Some folks, however, were a bit more vocal, such as this exuberant Phillies fan from tonight's 9-7 win over the Marlins. Tipster TJ alerted us to the above photo taken by his fri...

Cockblocked by Hot Wings!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Paul Thomas Anderson: Waiting For <em>The Master</em>
In late July, the Weinstein Company announced it would be releasing The Master, Paul Thomas Anderson's new movie, on September 14, which is early for an Oscar candidate. Most Best Picture nominees come out no sooner than October so that they're as fresh as possible in voters' minds. Nonetheless, the...

Cockblocked By Anti-Semitism!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Summer Camp Blowjob Follies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Cockblocked By Pot Brownies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Let's Play Stack The Cans On The Passed-Out Phillies Fan
It might be one of those summers in Philly for the first time in several years, but don't think for a moment that folks at Citizens Bank Park aren't still enjoying themselves. Some have too much fun. Others know when one more is always a good idea. Then another, and another......

Olympic Cyclist Sent Home After Getting Really, Really Wasted
Belgium's Gijs Van Hoecke had an OK showing last week: a 15th-place finish in the multi-discipline omnium, and part of a ninth-place sprint team. But for the vast, vast majority of Olympians, it's not about medals. It's about the entire experience, and that includes drinking enough to kill a small f...

Failure At The Mile High Club
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Don't Leave A Rubber On All Night By Accident
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

A Toothbrush-Wielding Red Sox Fan Was Ejected From Tropicana Field This Weekend
There are myriad ways to earn ejection from a major league ballpark, and most of them are punctuated by overconsumption of alcohol. That appears to be the cause of this incident from Saturday's Red Sox-Rays game in St. Pete, as a Red Sox fan quickly found herself parked outside after a bizarre int...

Presenting One Of History's Great Walks Of Shame
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Dogs Are Not Your Manhood's Best Friend
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
![The Titanic Of Failed Hookup Stories [Very NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17qlcwcwdbh0sjpg.jpg)
The Titanic Of Failed Hookup Stories [Very NSFW]
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Drunken Irishman Can't Find The Porta-Potty At Euro 2012
It is impossible to watch this video and not find yourself actively rooting for the Ireland fan to successfully locate and open a portable toilet in Poznan. The European Championship is truly awash in human drama. [Total Pro Sports, via SportsGrid]...

"I Will Give You 5 Blowjobs If You Take Me To See <em>Brokeback Mountain</em>," She Said
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....