drunk Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Drunk Golfer Tries To Drive Home In Rented Golf Cart
A golf cart may seem safer than a regular car—especially when you've just downed 10 beers over 18 holes—but that does not mean you should try to drunk drive one home after a day on the links....

The U.S. Open At Bethpage Black, Sponsored By Happy Gilmore
The New York galleries are so lively, we've heard all week. They're great for golf, and the players love it! Turns out, it's all just a euphemism for "New Yorkers like to get tanked and heckle Tiger Woods."...

Driver Of Nick Adenhart's Car Was Also Drunk
A toxicology report on Courtney Stewart, the young woman who was killed along with Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart in an April car crash, reveals that Stewart—who was behind the wheel of Adenhart's car—was legally drunk at the time....

Little Girl Lost In A Cup Of Beer At The Lakers Game
We're winding down...so prepare for more crap like this at the end of the day. [SteadyBurn]...

Inside Edition Shocked To Find Drunk People At Baseball Game
In Milwaukee, of all places! "Fights break out inside the stadium, foul language can be heard in the stands, and there are obscene gestures everywhere," reports America's Newsmagazine. [Inside Edition]...

Requiem For The Pimlico Beer Gauntlet
The 134th Preakness Stakes will take place on Saturday afternoon, but a tradition even older than that has sadly seen its last running—Pimlico Race Course has ended its BYOB infield policy....

The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent And Depraved
Everyone knows the real fun of the Kentucky Derby happens in the stands and infield, not on the track. See the shenanigans you missed out on after the jump....

Michael Phelps Is Enjoying His Swimming Exile
What's a famously rich, famously awkward swimming champion to do, when he's banned from the pool for too much outrageous behavior? Horrifying clubgoers with drunken makeout sessions is a good place to start....

Yet Another Smart Play From Zach Randolph
The competent, level-headed L.A. Clippers forward was arrested early this morning on suspicion of drunk driving. Does it seem unfair to anyone else that this man drives a Rolls-Royce? [ESPN]...

This Guy Has A Problem With Dwyane Wade
Some days, you wake up to emails containing videos of drunk billionaires verbally accosting Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade in a parking garage. Today is one of those days. (UPDATE)...

Look, Jackasses, KU Played Today. What The Shit Did You Expect?
Your beloved Comment Of The Week segment will appear Monday....

Washington State QB Suspended Due To Suspicious "Bag Of Vomit"
Marshall Lobbestael was arrested after being found in a car parked in front of the Pullman police station, "allegedly passed out with a grocery bag of vomit between his legs." But it's all a frame up, see!...

Young Florida Fan Gets Preview Of College Life
Just guessing, but this is probably exactly how Michael Phelps acted during that South Carolina frat party. (Examines fingers) ... "Is this real life?"...

Does This Guy Look Drunk And Belligerent To You?
You may have seen the story posted on Sunday about an innocent fan who was thrown out of Raymond James Stadium for doing absolutely nothing wrong—besides rooting for the visiting team....

John Daly Sleeps With His Eyes Open Both Literally and Metaphorically
Professional golfer/wing inhaler John Daly has finally sobered up enough to speak about his bizarre overnight jail stay from last weekend, after he was allegedly picked up drunk at a North Carolina Hooters restaurant. Daly is frustrated by this latest public spectacle, and feels particularly misunde...

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss
And only, like, five people died! Seriously, this is the greatest, bestest thing in the world. As a fan of your favorite team, I hope you do experience it. I never, EVER thought i would. Yeah, that's a car tipped over. See you tomorrow! PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: WORLD SERIES CHAMPS! GOD, FUCK ME IN THE...

Red Bull and Vodka Fueled High Jumper To Be Suspended for a Year?
Last week, we brought you the story of Ivan Ukhov, the high jumper whose drunken jump has exploded on the internets. More than a million people have watched the you tube video which we've handily relinked for you below. Now comes news that mother Russia is not pleased with him. In fact, they're ang...