drunk Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Nice Fruit Beer For Butts Of All Types
Kim Kardashian is on a sightseeing tour of Armenia, her ancestral homeland, a delightful fact that I know because the guy on the radio mentioned it at three o’clock this morning. My wife also knows this information about Kim and Armenia, because she got up to feed the cat shortly after I came into p...
A Perfect Beer For Classing Up Your Budhole
Last month, Forbes ran a preposterous article titled “The 13 Best Craft Beers in America.” There are a million things wrong with the piece, but let’s just deal with the three most glaring problems. First, why 13? That’s an unlucky number! Why you trying to hurt beer, Forbes?! Second, the author lack...
How To Make An Adequate Rye Old Fashioned
I go on runs with cocktails. I'm like a child who gets a new toy, obsesses over the toy for a full week, and then wants nothing to do with it. I went through a whole summer of drinking greyhounds and throwing up those greyhounds into the bushes. I drank a lot of rum & Diet Cokes when I was tryi...
The Ideal Beer For Wealthy Working Stiffs
Most of my workdays are spent alone at home, poring over a hot computer as I wait for the muse to alight and the hangover to depart. From time to time, however, I am called upon to venture out into the general population to address the inmates of a local prison or communications class on the topic o...
Kentucky Breakfast Stout: The Most Important Meal Of The Day
Saturday morning, my wife and I woke up without any particular plan, unless you count the plan to go the art museum, which my wife did in fact count due to the fact that I had agreed to the plan 18 hours earlier, but funny things happen to plans sometimes. So there we were, blissfully plan-free for ...
Quick, Drink This Great Kosher Beer Before Passover Starts!
Were your parents the sort of filthy liars who encouraged you to believe you could accomplish anything you wanted in life? Mine were not. They were pleasant realists who offered vague philosophical support for my larger hopes and dreams, but mainly wished my penmanship would improve enough to help...
If You Need An Easter Beer, Well, Here's Your Easter Beer
I had a hectic morning, because folding laundry counts as hectic if you have a certain kind of lifestyle, and therefore I’m a bit behind on my daily media-eating. Can someone help catch me up? Specifically I’m wondering if the part of the internet in charge of dispensing cultural edicts has decided ...
This New Sierra Nevada Beer Is Offensive and Delightful
Yesterday, the Brewers Association, the Craft Beer Movement's™ leading definer of words and bestower of medals, published their list of the "Top 50 Breweries of 2014," by which they mean "50 Biggest Breweries That Happen to Meet Today's Definition of 'Craft,' Which We Change More Frequently Than Our...
A Great Pale Ale From A Shady, Pale State
I ran into an old friend Sunday afternoon, and he asked what I had planned for this Wednesday. I had no ready answer, of course, because what kind of a monster has anything particular planned for a Wednesday? I suppose if I'd thought it through for a few minutes I could have projected that as the da...
How To Make An Adequate Manhattan
The Adequate Man is almost assuredly a boozer. Most abstainers do so because their sobriety is mandated by either higher-order preoccupations—see Chuck D, Thomas Edison, and Mister Fred Rogers—or legal/medical necessity, as with your cousin Jeff and your other two cousins Jeff....
A Lot Of Extreme Beer Sucks, But This One Is Great
Last weekend I skipped the Beer Advocate Extreme Beer Festival, even though it was five miles from my home and tickets didn't cost any more than what I blow on beer any given day off anyway. I regret not going. It would have been fun, and it would have made me better at my ridiculous how-is-this-an-...
Local Beer Is Great, But Fresh Beer Is Better
I'm lukewarm on most traditional holidays, the ones that require shopping and showering and dancing around maypoles and/or respectful disbelief in the supernatural; some of these holidays come with ham and presents, but even then the risks can outweigh the rewards. I still consider myself a joyous...
What Would You Pick If You Had To Drink The Same Three Beers Forever?
Yesterday afternoon some kindly internet stranger asked me what local beers I recommend he stock up on during his next trip to my home state. I refused to answer him on the grounds that Massachusetts is no mere "state"—we are a proud commonwealth of men and women united by loyalty to our official ...
Pliny The Elder And Blind Pig: Trophy Beers Within Everyone's Grasp
First off, let me introduce myself: My name is Mike, and I have been given the dubious honor of being named Drunkspin's West Coast Beer Correspondent, which means that every now and then you'll see some writing on a beer that Will Gordon either can't get up in Massachusetts, or can't, like, get up...
Commercial Shandies Are For Suckers. Drink This Beer Instead.
Beer is very useful. In just the past few days I have relied on beer to help me relate to my fellow man, to make college basketball interesting, and to wean me off my Tylenol PM addiction. Beer can also be used to liven up an otherwise limp pot of whatever-bean chili, to repair a dicey relationshi...
This Is The Best Beer From Boston's Other Brewing Behemoth
You know how the adage that you should always "just be yourself" is nothing but soft-headed, recklessly empowering drivel unless all concerned parties understand the unspoken addendum of "I mean, unless you're a dick—in that case, be someone else"? The blogatorial version is that one ought to "write...
Red Stripe: Rightfully Beloved In Kingston And Cambridge Alike
If you live in the Northeastern United States, you need to move, because tomorrow's the first day of spring, and it's going to snow. Believe me, I'm just as tired of whining about the weather as you are of listening to me whine about the weather, but it's been so relentlessly abominable that I can...
March Madness Beer Brackets Are Stupid, So Here's The Winner Of Ours!
Have you guys filled out all your brackets? I'm a bit behind this year. I've taken care of "Vegan Pizza Toppings," "Aunts Who Have Disappointed Me," "Bands I've Never Heard Of," and "Dudes Named Gary," and today I hope to get to "NCAA Men's Basketball," but I doubt I'm going to find time to complete...
16 American Stouts, Ranked
Last Friday afternoon, I had the nerve to step away from my desk for as long as it takes to microwave a Hot Pocket and contemplate my sins, and Deadspin took advantage of those three unchaperoned minutes to damn near burn the place to the ground by running a piece with the title "Stouts Are The Be...
The Perfect Beer-Soda For Wealthy Teens And Belgian Fetishists
Remember Palcohol, the booze powder that had all our blogs in a bunch last spring before it faded away into some kind of regulatory purgatory for just long enough to let us get all fired up about Ebola, bad weather, Bud Light Mixxtails, and all the other dire threats to our collective future as pert...