duan Page 154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Brains Behind Jägermeister Have Gone To Heaven
Please raise a shot glass to Günter Mast, who died last week of heart failure at 84 years young. Mast's tombstone should read, "Brought Excellence To The World One Bottle Of Jägermeister At A Time." Germans consider Mast a "marketing genius." Jäger's current boss says he's "one of the top businessm...
British Olympic Hopefuls Strip For Cash
Twelve British lady swimmers (normal and synchronized), divers and water-polo players skinny-dipped for a photo shoot "sponsored by the National Lottery and British Gas [which] is supporting more than 1,200 athletes for 2012, as well as contributing up to £2.2 billion to the Olympic venues." Seems ...
Robot Seal Defeats Tubby Smith In Free Throw Battle
This week, we were tipped off to two free throw highlight videos, which are never really highlight videos at all. One was of human coach Tubby Smith, and the other was of a fuzzy robot seal from Taiwan. The natural response was to set the two against each other, with their original soundtracks inc...
A Brief Video History Of Physics Not Applying To Basketball
Last night, West Virginia upset No. 16 UConn in Morgantown, 65-56. Alex Oriakhi went to the line with the game tied and just a few minutes remaining the first half, and he took what was mostly a nice-looking free throw, especially for a big man. But the ball bounced around the rim a few times befo...
Please Take Your Trick Shot Video And Shove It Up Your Cockhole
Seriously. Unless there's someone who is brave enough to drop a baby off a high-dive through a basketball rim, Deadspin is longer interested in trick shot videos....
The Atletico Junior Owl Is Gone, But His Memory Soars With Us Siempre
When owls die, they usually die peacefully, like round-headed noble angels. Except this owl, which miraculously withstood being pelted by a soccer ball, then a cleat to the torso, before it finally died on a cold gurney surrounded by men in scrubs frantically yanking on its wings. We say farewell....
Jay Mariotti Is Getting A Tan, Designer Clothes, And A Fairly Mean Mug In Beverly Hills
From reader Jon in Beverly Hills, who caught Mariotti at a crosswalk earlier today:...
Jared Jeffries Is Probably Coming Home To NY Soon, Too
Those of you able to commandeer a television tonight will likely watch the Knicks/Heat, right? ...
Charlie Sheen Puts Lenny Dykstra In A Position "Where I'm Actually Ready To Make A Big Move In My Life"
The Lenny Dykstra/Charlie Sheen revival tour can't do nothing but gather steam. Just two days after Dykstra vouched for the coke-fueled genius that is Sheen, they took to the radio waves to "set the record straight on the myriad of exaggerations, misinformation and outright falsehoods about his li...
Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire? Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire.
Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual....
Learn To Jog In Place With Phil Simms's 1987 NFL Workout Video
Phil Simms released this workout video in 1987, the year he was named Super Bowl MVP. It has lots of Lycra, big hair, and some help from pros Todd Christensen, Eric Dickerson, Tony Dorsett, Phil McConkey, Reggie Williams, Gary Anderson, and Rulon Jones. If by chance you still own a VHS player, you...
Wayne Gretzky Officially Has Better Hair Than Justin Bieber
The only part of this clip from today's episode of "The Talk" that's really worth watching is at the very beginning. The host asks for "somebody to help me out," as in, to make some noise, and a girl in the front row stands and holds her arm up in desperation; she's thinking she'll get to say some...
A Pile Of 320,000 Firecrackers Going Off? Yes Please.
This video's a couple days old, but we're just getting to it now as a belated Presidents' Day celebration. That's about America, right? America's about blowing things up, right?...
NFL Prospects Work On Their "Run From A Gorilla" Times
Tom Shaw runs a training program for NFL hopefuls at the Disney's Wide World of Sports complex in Orlando. That happens to be adjacent to Disney's Animal Kingdom. Shaw did not let the proximity go to waste....
Lady Puts Hidden Camera On Her Ass, "Busts" People And Jesus Scoping It
The introduction of "Ass Cam" poses the question of whether "you've ever wondered what goes on behind your back." From there, you can decide whether the two asscamtrepreneurs accurately predicted that they "look dumb :D"...
Let Three-Sport Town Los Angeles Eat Its Dunk Contest
Everybody already damn well knows that Blake Griffin is going to do something sight-bending in tonight's All-Star Weekend dunk contest. (Compulsive-gambler aside: "Field" is a solid bet, anyway). Whether that's reason enough to watch is up for you to decide. Here's the official contest site on whi...
Cassy Herkelman Is The Bigger Person In The 112-Pound Weight Class
This week, a God-fearin' home-schooled young man named Joel Northrup refused to face Cassy Herkelman in the ring because his faith doesn't allow men wrasslin' ladies. In a statement issued by his host school (because public high school athletic departments in Iowa have public relations experts?), No...
Let Us Begin Our All-Night Tree Vigil For The Oaks At Toomer's Corner
The trees are cloaked in their customary strips of toilet paper, and a man from Dadeville who named his kids "Bear" and "Crimson" awaits justice. At College Street and Magnolia Avenue in Auburn this evening, Tiger fans mourn the loss of their beloved oak trees. The sites seem to be having a bit of d...
Pour One Out For Auburn's Trees Tonight
Toomer's Corner, the spiritual heart of Auburn's campus and the destination spot to celebrate wins, was poisoned with a "very lethal dose" herbicide. Naturally, the perpetrator bragged about it on Finebaum's show. People have heart attacks. People admit to tree-killing. These are things that happen ...
Tonight's The Night HBO <em>Real Sports</em> Explores Deadspin's Septic Tank
So the news was broken a couple weeks ago but for those of you interested in what Bryant Gumbel's discerning pencil feels about our shady operation, tune into HBO (home of Treme) tonight at 10 p.m. EST, especially if you always wanted to hear Andrea Kremer say the word "penis" ad nauseum....