duan Page 189 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Boy Will Grow Up To Jeopardize His Job Security Due To Substance Abuse
Something tells me that this little boy won't be allowed to wear that jersey out in public anymore if Matt Jones continues his current career trajectory....

This Here's What You Call A "Danwich"
I love this photo. The expression on Dan Patrick's face, with an Andrews sister on each arm, just seems to scream, "Hey, E.A. Fanboys — SUCK ON THIS ACTION."...

Bob Ryan's Face Refuses To Grow Old Gracefully
Legendary columnist and occasional ESPN talking head Bob Ryan was, at 63, as pruney as most people his age. But he appears to be going through an alarming transformation....

Enjoy The Rest Of Your Weekend In Jail
Charles Barkley gave a press conference today from inside the Maricopa County jail, as he began his three-day sentence for drunk driving. Now that's how you enjoy a day off....

Tony Mandarich Fesses Up; Invented First Whizzinator
Former beefy lineman Tony Mandarich has recently admitted to the world that, yes, the incredibleness of his bulk was actually acquired not just by G'N'R and caffeine, but steroids....

No Rest For The Cysted
Poor A-Rod. He's just looking for some quiet time in Vail while getting his hip drained, or labrum re-attached, or toenail scraped, or whatever ailment he has, and then a nosy local snapped this photo....

Britney Jordan: Great With The Rock... And Working The Pole
There are plenty of stories about athletes who came from humble beginnings, who stare down adversity, cliche, etc. Here's another one: Meet Britney Jordan, one of the NCAA's leading scorers and former Philadelphia exotic dancer....

I Call This One "Monster Truck Ecstasy"
So much depressing news. That's why we'll end today with some pure, unbridled joy. The joy of seeing a monster truck with enormous tires topple over on a chilly Baltimore Saturday night....

Book Excerpts That Might Suck: Alyssa Milano's 'Safe At Home'
Here are some excerpts from Alyssa Milano's book, Safe at Home, Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic, which hits shelves on March 24 (and you don't even have your Alyssa Milano book party planned yet)....

Jay Mariotti Calls Shenanigans On Matt Cassel Trade
Gentleman Jay Mariotti knows a raw deal when he sees one and something about that Matt Cassel to Kansas City trade does not smell right to him....

Bill Simmons: Unleashed, Uncensored, and Uncompromising
Most of Bill Simmons' complaints the last year were about ESPN's strict podcast content guidelines and that he's not allowed to rip on other ESPN personalities. At least, not on his podcast....

Farewell, Brian Dawkins?
This is a sad day for Philadelphia Eagles fans. Brian Dawkins, long-time safety and recent perfecter of legalized helmet-to-helmet knockout hits, is heading to Bronco country next season, according to one report....

The De-Cleavaging Of Hannah Storm Is Upon Us
Not A Sports Blog does some inspired creepy-detective work into the recent wardrobe changes to SportsCenter morning host Hannah Storm. Sadly, it appears the days of shiny thigh-high boots and low-cut tops are behind her....

Tiger's Return Causes ESPN Writer To Bring Out The Blue Blogging
Admittedly, I didn't read Jason Sobel's live blog of The Blasian One's' long-awaited return to the PGA, but I'm a little sorry I didn't, since it seems he threw in a haphazard boner joke....

Sorry, Guys. Marko Jaric Is Officially Off The Market
News of the nuptials between Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric and his Brazilian model-chick, Adriana Lima, spread like herpes from a beer pong tournament this morning. Never underestimate the power of a poorly groomed mustache....

Mickey Mantle Was A Lovable, Profane Scamp When It Came To Autographs
There's something both amusing and sad about this autographed Mickey Mantle baseball, which is now being sold at a collector's auction....

If You're Out On Your Bike Tonight, Beware of Syringe Man
Lance Armstrong was riding along in the Tour of California when he was approached by this ridiculous character. Armstrong wasted little time grabbing the man, and shoving him into a conveniently placed snow bank....

Shocking Development In The SI/Danica Tattoo Controversy
The intrepid Brooks of SPORTSbyBROOKS has Telexed us with an urgent communique regarding Danica Patrick's now-infamous checkered flag/Old Glory tattoo (these colors will eventually run as age takes its toll on Danica)....

This Will Be The Last Thing You See Before You Die
Nightmare Ant popped up at a high school basketball game last night to do his usual job of spooking unsuspecting fans, making young children wail in terror, and darkening souls....

Sports Illustrated Finally Explains Wanton Danica Tattoo Removal
In a shining example of investigative journalism, CNBC's Darren Rovell attached himself, chimplike, to Sports Illustrated's haunches until the magazine finally explained why they Photoshopped away Danica Patrick's SI swimsuit issue ass tattoo....