dumb Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The New XFL Sounds Nothing Like The Old One
The XFL returned today with a rap. Really....
What's The Best Possible Animal Army In A Battle To The Death?
Here’s a rock-dumb hypothetical the staff has been arguing about for a few hours: If you were forced to choose two groups of fighters from the following draft class of eight kinds of animals and one guy with a gun, what’s the best possible defense you can construct for yourself against the remaining...
Dana White Is Boasting About Signing Floyd Mayweather To A UFC Contract
Floyd Mayweather, a boxer who lies about being retired, has taken all of four months to start speculating about his next fight. He recently said that he has an offer from the UFC, and Dana White talked to ESPN’s Brett Okamoto today to continue hyping up a mixed martial arts debut for the famously br...
Dipshit Saints Fan Sues Team Over Anthem Protests
A Saints fan named Lee Dragna, who appears to be a real dumbass, has filed a lawsuit against the team seeking a refund for his season tickets. He wants the refund because his ability to enjoy Saints games has been ruined by the NFL’s anthem protests....
Old Guy Who Called Mayweather-McGregor A "Farce" Changes Mind, Asks For Fight
There’s no bigger meal ticket in combat sports right now than Conor McGregor. Everyone wants to fight him, from his fellow mixed martial artists in the UFC lightweight division, to fighters in his former featherweight division, to boxers who suck. The reasoning is simple: Fight McGregor and make a f...
![Tulsa TD Taken Off Board After Premature "Celebration" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/kbajs5d78irm1bfvkgkg.gif)
Tulsa TD Taken Off Board After Premature "Celebration" [Update]
And now, for the dumbest thing you will see today:...
The UFC Is Fucked Right Now
As fun as it is to watch anonymous featherweights mash each other’s faces, the UFC only works when it has stars to sell the public. Brock Lesnar sold pay-per-views. So did Georges St-Pierre and Anderson Silva. Fighters’ peaks are short, since their trade involves repeated blunt-force trauma, but as ...
The Chris Paul Problem Is An Analytics Problem
In broad terms, the Chris Paul Problem—there is one!—is as follows: Pretty much everybody agrees that Paul is, and has been for the past decade, one of the NBA’s best players. He made nine straight All-Star games from 2008 to 2016; he has made eight All-NBA teams and nine All-Defense teams; he is th...
Dumb Shining Moment: Your 2017 NCAA Tournament Lowlight Reel
This year’s edition of Dumb Shining Moment features everybody’s favorite athletes; the men we paid money (to CBS sponsors) to see; the men who really ought to go pro in something other than sports....
Piss Off, Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow isn’t a major-league ballplayer, and he isn’t a pro ballplayer in any but the barest, most literal sense. Certainly, if he weren’t famous for playing football and for not having been aborted, no one anywhere would pay him money to play baseball. Look at this shit!...
If Motodoping Exists, <i>60 Minutes</i> Sure Didn't Prove It<em></em>
One year ago to the day, officials uncovered one of the strangest scandals in a sport famous for strange scandals....
I Spent Two Weeks As A True <i>Overwatch</i> Idiot<em></em>
Overwatch, they say, is about teamwork. They’re correct, but what they don’t tell you (because it should be obvious to anyone with a child’s understanding of how video games work) is that you shoot at your opponents, not your teammates. It would appear that I merely have an overgrown baby’s understa...
All Hell Breaks Loose On Bills Field Goal Attempt
With three seconds left in the first half of the Seahawks-Bills game, chaos took over....
Behold The Glory Of The NFL Rulebook In One Dumb Clip<em></em>
A football move, what is it? I have no idea, but it is a term that figures into a lot of very confusing calls during NFL games....
Big, Stupid Falcons Stadium To Feature Big, Stupid Bird Statue
The Atlanta Falcons appear to be very committed to building the most batshit insane football stadium in American history. They already went and approved a design that will make the stadium resemble a robot’s anus, and now they are going to grace the grounds with what is purported to be the largest b...
The PS4 Slim Is The Perfect Console For Me, A Video Game Idiot
As Kotaku writer and unfortunate New York Jets fan Jason Schreier exposed to the world a few weeks ago, I’ve been pestering him for about a month about whether or not I should buy a PlayStation 4. This morning Sony announced the PS4 Pro and the PS4 Slim, and Jason finally told me that the time had c...
Dumbass Bear Gets Head Stuck In Empty Cheese Poof Container
Every bear knows that the greatest threat its dignity is a container of food big enough to fit over a hungry bear’s head. And so any bear that wants to avoid being labeled as a big idiot dumbass has to follow just one simple rule: don’t stick your big bear head in large food containers....
The Case Against Pets
Let’s talk about pets. They are made for cuddling. They nuzzle and purr and wiggle. They show their cute little bellies, asking for scratches. When we’re blue, they bring comfort. When they act like silly imbeciles, we make videos of them and share their antics with strangers on the internet. Pets g...