dumb Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Do Airheads Make Better Quarterbacks?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
In 1938, The Dumbass Hurricane Bros Were Badass Senior Golfers
Hurricane Sandy is the biggest storm to hit the Northeast since the 1938 New England Hurricane ripped through the region, killing hundreds and causing millions in property damage....
Will Brett Favre Have To Discuss His Penis Under Oath?
Brett Favre's (alleged!) penis is back in the news and now it's because he doesn't want it shown off. We told you last week about the two former Jets masseuses who, as part of their ongoing lawsuit against Favre alleging sexual harassment and retaliation, tried to get him to admit that photographs p...
![Fan Of The Pittsburgh Pirates? Prove It By Paying Them Money To Join Their Stupid Fan Club. [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17vcoyx3elnpnjpg.jpg)
Fan Of The Pittsburgh Pirates? Prove It By Paying Them Money To Join Their Stupid Fan Club. [UPDATED]
The Pittsburgh Pirates are at last contenders again, but they're still the Pittsburgh Pirates. They finally have fans excited again because they're actually winning. But they're still not above showing some degree of contempt for those fans by offering them something they're calling the Fan Advisor ...
It's Official, World's Dumbest Criminal Found After Trying To Sell Weed To His Old Parole Officer
We find our man, Cedrick Barnes, in Florence, South Carolina. It seems Cedrick had some extra weed laying around and thought to himself, "I should really sell this stuff." So Cedrick did what any one of us would have: he started cold-calling everyone in his cell phone contacts to see if anyone want...
Ichiro's Doppelganger Tried To Sabotage The Mariners Last Night
Have we not yet learned our lesson, America? Is Bartman's ultimate cautionary tale still not enough? Let the players make their plays. Even if you happen to look eerily similar to one of them....
Hey, Kids: If You Sulk On TV, The Giants PR Team Will Reward You
In San Francisco, they make sure the kids develop a sense of entitlement at an early age....
Baseball Game Interrupted By Man In Wedding Dress
Play was stopped at the Nationals-Braves game in Atlanta on Saturday evening so that police officers could take down a streaking fan in a wedding dress. This captivated the crowd and beguiled Davey Johnson....
Memo To Jonah Lehrer: Mark Cuban Says The Mavs Used Statistics Against The Heat
Jonah Lehrer is still arguing that the Dallas Mavericks beat the Miami Heat by ignoring statistics and turning loose the intangible powers of J.J. Barea. Or at least that stat-heads can't prove that wasn't the case:...
Grantland's Jonah Lehrer Loves Intangibles So Much He Made A Whole Argument Out Of Them
Aren't sports statistics terrible? Of course they are. Sports has been overrun by number-nerds, and the number-nerds get angry if you point this out. So Jonah Lehrer, writing at Grantland about the pernicious influence of numerical analysis, makes sure not to bring up any actual examples of how numb...
Playing Left-Handed At Wimbledon Is As Big An Advantage As Playing Right-Handed
Today's New York Times reports from Wimbledon on the sneaky advantage that left-handed tennis players enjoy on grass:...
Brett Keisel's Neptunian Beard Will Be Forever Commemorated On This Idiot's Forearm
Johnny Menesini, a caterer from Pittsburgh, had Brett Keisel's bearded mug (which is no longer so bearded) tattooed on his forearm recently. We must say that it looks very nice — despite being a giant face on an elbow crease....
Bulls Fan Learns The Shame Of The Giant Foam Hat
The giant foam hat is all fun and games until it is shown on the Jumbo Tron which is then shown on national television which is then uploaded to YouTube with ridiculing commentary and which then makes it to here, where we will shame your giant foam hat shame. What a world....
And Now A Picture Of The Worst Custom Heat Jersey Ever Made
In honor of the Heat/Celtics series, this guy has made a video of how to wash your car and clean your ceiling fan with a Paul Pierce jersey. And he did it all while wearing this obnoxious custom-made Big Three jersey....
Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes Dumbass
Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anch...
Three Arrested, Six Ejected At FA Youth Cup; Remaining Man U Fans Chant About Terrible Disasters
Liverpool and Manchester United played in the annual FA Youth Cup on Sunday. United came back from two goals down to win, 3-2. The other final count at Anfield: three fans arrested for drunkenness, six ejected for what was likely more controlled drunkenness, and reports that a section of United fa...
CNN Inexplicably Airs <em>Dumb And Dumber</em> Diarrhea Scene
Right after a report on London student protests, there it was: Jeff Daniels loudly evacuating the contents of his bowels. Your move, FOX News....
Pro Football Doubletalk
We missed the initial to-do over the scene depicted here, wherein Albert Haynesworth mills around enormously in the vicinity of a defensive meeting, but it's since become something of a Rorschach that determines if you're a sensible human being or Mike Florio....
Mark Prior Doesn't Know Why You Keep Asking Him About Stephen Strasburg
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: walking arm injury Mark Prior....
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: John Jenkins, Vanderbilt University
Today's nominee is Vanderbilt guard, John Jenkins, and his stunning essay about...meat? Women? Women who don't eat meat? It manages to be both sexist and anthropological and pro-meat....