dumbasses - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Michael Wilbon: LeBron Should Play For The Wizards So He Can Be Like Jeff Bezos<em></em>Michael Wilbon, a grumbly shithead who’s spent the better part of this millennium actively torching his own hard-won relevance, has now weighed in on LeBron James’s impending free agency. You may be surprised to learn that Wilbon—who has made it clear multiple times that he thinks D.C. is a “terribl...
Screeching Moron Formerly In Charge Of U.S. Soccer Scouting Offers Braindead Anti-Messi TakeYou probably aren’t familiar with Thomas Rongen, and we really wish we didn’t feel compelled to inform you of his existence. But when a gaping asshole like this has somehow amassed real, serious power at the highest levels of U.S. Soccer, and demonstrates his gross incompetence for his position in t...
Dipshit Saints Fan Sues Team Over Anthem Protests
A Saints fan named Lee Dragna, who appears to be a real dumbass, has filed a lawsuit against the team seeking a refund for his season tickets. He wants the refund because his ability to enjoy Saints games has been ruined by the NFL’s anthem protests....
ESPN's Darren Rovell On Nike Exploiting Chinese Workers: "It Is What It Is"
ESPN business reporter Darren Rovell, a man with many unread issues of The Economist in his bathroom, has a habit of using his Twitter account to explain that all sorts of terrible things are just fine so long as capitalists can profit from them. Racism? Totally cool if the market says it is. What a...
Darren Rovell Says Racism Is Okay If The Market Approves; ESPNers Flee
Darren Rovell, a commemorative gift plate from the American Enterprise Institute that somehow talks and writes and uses social media, went there just now on Twitter, and it’s a sight to behold—a service to the nation, in its way. While a market fundamentalist with a neuron or two firing would probab...
Dumbass Has Dumb Thoughts On Paternity Leave
Hate clicks are still clicks, but John Stiegerwald — the dumbass columnist who blamed Bryan Stow for getting beaten up — was kind enough to post his rant against Trevor Rosenthal taking paternity leave on Facebook, where we won’t have to give him any uniques to read his impressive buffoonery....
Lamarr Houston Injures Self Celebrating Sack While Getting Blown Out [Update]
Bears defensive end Lamarr Houston joined Stephen Tulloch on the list of idiots who injured themselves celebrating a sack this season. It's made worse by the fact Chicago is down 25 points to the Patriots, and that Houston's sack came against New England's rookie backup quarterback....
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Photoshop Miguel Diving Into Other Ill-Advised Situations
Miguel made quite the splash when he landed on two innocent spectators at last night's Billboard Awards. In fact, several more people have heard of Miguel this morning than had last night! Nobody said increasing that Q score was going to be easy....
Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes Dumbass
Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anch...
This Is What You Call The Hebert Salute
Former Saints quarterback Bobby Hebert let the shit-kickin' hillbilly overtake him after the Saints bullied the ball away from Captain Poise Pants to score a touchdown and put the game away....