Dwight Howard—team-killer, corny joke maker, toxic locker-room presence, and general oaf—signed with the Washington Wizards a few weeks ago, his fourth team in four seasons. The market for him in free agency was quite small, and yet he somehow landed on the team with players who aren’t all fond of each other. Maybe…

Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the team signed to…

Why did the Wizards fade down the stretch last season and finish 10-15 after the All-Star break on their way to another first-round exit? Part of it was an injury to John Wall, part of it was their questionable depth, but an important reason was that they loathed each other. Exhibit A: Marcin Gortat’s unsubtle dig at…

The NBA Draft: When is it? What is it? Will you, personally, be selected in this draft? Look, man: I don’t know this shit and honestly I don’t appreciate being asked. That said, the NBA Draft is 1) happening on Thursday evening, 2) effectively random and reliably entertaining, and 3) unless your wingspan is…

Here we are, again: Dwight Howard is switching teams for the fourth straight offseason. After failing to live up to expectations as a franchise cornerstone with the Rockets, flopping as a hometown hero with the Hawks, and failing to make an impact as a veteran leader with the Hornets (lol), Howard has arrived at the…

Marcin Gortat is a fine NBA player. He’s been one of the NBA’s best screeners for about a decade; before a relatively recent age-related decline in athleticism he was an underrated defender and rim protector; he’s a wizard at timing his movement towards the hoop to preserve and maximize the narrow passing lanes that…

Dwight Howard—the same 32-year-old that has spent the last several seasons brewing beef as he scoots from team to team, that Dwight Howard—made a little history tonight. With a 32-point, 30-rebound game in the Hornets’ win over the Nets, he put together the first 30-point, 30-rebound performance that the NBA has seen…

Dwight Howard, who is listed at 6-foot-11 with a seven-foot wingspan, decided to use absolutely none of his god-given physical gifts as he tried to score on his old team tonight. Maybe he thought it would be unfair to the shorter Evan Fournier; maybe, in a burst of whimsy, he wanted to pretend to be small. But the…

Dwight Howard, who’s averaging 52.8 percent on free throws this year, made two meaningless ones towards the end of Charlotte’s 133-109 blowout of the Wizards tonight. Afterwards, like Sam Cassell and so many others before him, he wanted us to know how big his balls were.

Of all the dipshit ways for Dwight Howard to earn himself a $35,000 fine from the NBA, this is almost certainly the Dwight Howard-est:

Zach Lowe had Kevin Arnovitz on his podcast Tuesday to discuss the five most puzzling teams in the NBA, one of which was the Charlotte Hornets. The Eastern Conference is a lukewarm soup of bad teams, mediocre teams, and the Cavs and Celtics, which means the Hornets could plausibly finish fourth or 10th in the…

The narrative around Dwight Howard, as codified most recently in a kind of silly but enjoyable Lee Jenkins Redempt-O-Matic profile that appeared on Sports Illustrated’s website yesterday, casts the 31-year-old center as something like a failure, a wayward basketball soul in need of hoops atonement and redemption. That…

Draft Week trade mania—it’s happening!

Early in the morning before the Atlanta Hawks lost Game 6 of their first round series against the Washington Wizards and got bounced from the playoffs, Hawks center Dwight Howard was pulled over for driving 95 mph in a 65 mph zone at 2:06 a.m.

Dwight Howard is suddenly unhappy with his situation in Atlanta, and the Hawks probably wouldn’t be averse to trading him if the right deal came along. But does anyone really want Dwight?

The Atlanta Hawks had their exit interviews on Saturday, and wouldn’t you know, Dwight Howard spent his pouting.

One of the fun little subplots of the season of the season has been animosity between the Celtics and Hawks. The Celtics have taken the Hawks’ spot of two years ago as prime challenger in the East to the Cavaliers, and feisty point guards Isaiah Thomas and Dennis Schröder have gotten into it about whether or not …

There are plenty of amusing details in Baxter Holmes’s ESPN piece about the NBA’s love of PB&Js, but one anecdote about Dwight Howard’s health in 2013 overhauled my understanding of what the human body can do.

Gah, it must be frustrating being Dwight Howard’s teammate. You’d probably want to vent too after watching that dumb, charmless lunk whip a routine pass at the scorer’s table. But if you yap too hard, as Dennis Schroder did last night, you might end up leaving Steph Curry wide open from three.