e Page 7143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pedro Martinez And Kevin Millar Delivered A Boozy, Awkward Toast To Fenway Before Today's Game
A lengthy ceremony recognizing the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park before today's Yankees-Red Sox game came to a close with former Sox stars Kevin Millar and Pedro Martinez offering a toast, sort of, to the stadium—while sounding a bit like they'd been rehearsing it for some time. (The Red Sox a...

Posting A Facebook Photo From The London Olympics Could Land You In Court
Art by Ronald Wigman....

Better Know An Umpire: Tom Hallion
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

The Charlotte Bobcats Can't Even Beat The Spread
The Bobcats' losing streak has reached 18 games, and they're flirting with the all-time worst single-season winning percentage in NBA history. You would expect an experienced gambler to see them as a good bet because the entire world thinks so little of them. Er, no....

Derek Jeter Is Still Trying To Sell His Apartment (Now $2 Million Cheaper!)
Time (again) to picture what it would be like to be the next owner of Derek Jeter's apartment, where he's lived for the last 11 years....

Czech Women Will Use You As A Bodyguard
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Oregon Father And Son Build 1/3-Scale Fenway Park Replica On Their Farm
What was your backyard like? Perhaps you had a tire swing, or a play structure, or an above-ground pool. My yard abutted wetlands; mosquitos rose angrily every spring. Chances are, whatever you had, it wasn't as cool as what Jim Maciariello and his son Ben built in Drain, Oregon....

For Just $34.99 Plus Tax Plus Shipping And Handling, This Plain White Cap Can Be Yours
To celebrate the hundredth anniversary of Fenway Park, both the Highlanders Yankees and the Red Sox will be wearing 1912 throwback uniforms for this afternoon's game. Here's New York's old-timey duds; here's Boston's. ...

The Suns Shut Down And Beat Up Blake Griffin
Blake Griffin was unstoppable in the first quarter, going 7-for-13 from the field. Phoenix regrouped, and turned the game into something more closely rembling Atari's Basketbrawl, and what do you know: it worked. Griffin didn't score another field goal the rest of the game....

Who Needs <em>Magic/Bird</em>? This Is What A Real Basketball Musical Looks Like
Magic/Bird has premiered on Broadway, and, according to NPR's Mike Pesca, it underwhelmed. So Pesca, on this week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast, envisions—and, uh, sings—his ideal basketball musical. It's a wild ride. Join us, won't you?...

A Frozen Clock Was Nearly Disastrous In The Caps-Bruins Game
With 9.5 seconds left and the Capitals up by a goal, the puck was dropped in Washington's zone. But for more than five seconds, the clock refused to start. The Bruins cycled it around, with Patrice Bergeron getting off a shot just at the buzzer. It was thankfully blocked, because a score there wou...

College Newspaper Captures Euphoria Of Historic Upset With Headline Alluding To Masturbation
Division II Francis Marion University (S.C.) knocked off defending Division I national champ South Carolina in a baseball game on April 11. FMU's student paper is a weekly, and even though the edition chronicling the big win wasn't published until this week, the upset was still enough to merit front...

NFL Moneyball: The Math Says To Draft Players With Criminal Records
It's our old friend Science, back to drop some NFL draft knowledge on us. Today's lesson: if you're looking to maximize the value of your draft position, you might be better off going with the guys with character issues. And in this case, "character issues" isn't code for asshole, it's code for guy ...

Michael Bourn Holds Up The Game With A Bathroom Break
When you gotta go, you gotta go. For most of us, that means quietly taking a break before we resume whatever it is we were doing. For Michael Bourn, last night it meant the start of the bottom of the fourth inning in Arizona had to be delayed, since everyone noticed the Braves had taken the field ...

Clearly, Steroids Are Still A Problem In Major League Baseball
Witness the physique of the hero known only as The Mighty K.C., who terrorizes the children who can be found amongst the 100, 200, 300, 400, 500, or 600 fans who are just there, there, at Safeco Field; having done his work, he heads off into the great unknown....

First "Franchise" Footage Shows Ozzie Guillen Getting Suspended
Showtime released a brief, two-and-half-minute video to tease the second season of "The Franchise." The 30-minute premiere airs Saturday at 9 p.m., and if this clip is any indication, Showtime might pull in a few more subscriptions as a result. There's all the drama of building a new stadium, play...

Report: Billy Hunter Moves To Push Derek Fisher Out As Union President
Can't say this one comes as much of a surprise, but NBA Players Association honcho Billy Hunter has finally started his move to force out union president Derek Fisher, a guard for the Oklahoma City Thunder, after five years on the job. Theoretically, Fisher has two years remaining in his role as uni...

Don't Dare Mention J.P. Arencibia's Insanely Low Batting Average
Master Tim Kurkjian impressionist J.P. Arencibia got himself into a little tiff this morning when he started making fat jokes aimed at a Long Island radio personality who dared bring up his atrocious season-starting stats. ESPN's Keith Law brought the tweet to the masses, and when Baseball Prospectu...

Sports-Loving President Forces Ice Hockey On His Poor Desert Nation
This man is Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, and he is the president of Turkmenistan. He is wearing this ridiculous ice hockey jersey because he demanded that his country's sports-minded officials build an ice hockey arena in the capital city of Ashgabat, and when you win reelection with 97 percent of th...

Somebody On The Heat Bench Farted Tonight
The Miami Heat came into tonight's match with the Chicago Bulls riding a four-game winning streak, so they certainly haven't stunk on the floor. It did stink, though, in the first quarter on the Heat bench, when someone (we're guessing Juwan Howard, given he's the only one not reacting) let a sti...