e Page 7149 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

LeBron And Jay-Z Have A Secret Handshake
We regret missing this after the Nets-Heat game on Monday night, but you ought to forgive us because it was a game that involved the New Jersey Nets. LeBron James scored the Heat's final 17 points—Miami outscored Jersey by 12 in the fourth quarter but only won by three—and then shook hands with Net...

"Hell Is Other People's Fantasy Teams": Do Fantasy Sports Alienate Us?
Republished from The Classical. Art by Dmitry Samarov....

How To Earn A One-Game Suspension In The NHL Playoffs
Attack and repeatedly punch a defenseless player. Jump into a scuffle and pound on a defenseless player from behind, and pull his hair. Take runs at two separate players, ringing two bells on one shift. Give a cross-check shove to a player's face after he tripped your team's star....

Tony Parker's Crossover Of Ramon Sessions Is So Good, Sessions's Teammate Applauds
Parker goes from left to right so quickly, Sessions is left with an instant to wonder what happened before he makes a too-late attempt to recover. But what about Jordan Hill, in the headband on the Lakers' bench? Parker's move also seems to fake him into cheering for the wrong team....

Kentucky Declares For NBA Draft
UK's entire starting five—freshmen Anthony Davis, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and Marquis Teague, and sophomores Doron Lamb and Terrence Jones—announced they'll be leaving Lexington after a national championship. They'll be joined by senior Darius Miller, so John Calipari—as proud as he is of his one-an...

Davey Johnson Is Perplexed And Unmoved By Press Conference Fire Alarm
Okay, let's get this out of the way first. Yes, it's hilarious to hear Nats manager Davey Johnson say, completely out of context, "It was shockingly beautiful, and big. I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, jeez. My first one was in 1966." He's talking about Edwin Jackson's World Series ring. Not a pe...

Miami TV Station Congratulates The Florida International University Panthers On Their Stanley Cup Playoff Win
The Florida Panthers took a 2-1 series lead over the New Jersey Devils with an astonishing 4-3 win that came after falling behind 3-0 in the first period. It's understandable, then, that the story led off the 10:00 news on Miami's WSVN; perhaps unaccustomed to hockey success, they got a few details...

An All-Star Hollywood Cast Pays Tribute To The 2005 Chicago White Sox
Ozzie Guillen never stopped believing, and neither should you....

Jamie Moyer Becomes Oldest Pitcher In Baseball History To Win A Game
Good for Jamie Moyer, who pitched seven effective innings against the Padres Tuesday night to earn the 268th win of his never-ending and perpetual baseball career. At the age of 49 years, 150 days, he also became the oldest geezer to win a MLB game....

<em>Philadelphia Daily News</em> Puts 'The Cowardly Penguin' On Its Cover
You know, you look at this cover of Wednesday's Philadelphia Daily News and you get the subtle impression that maybe there's a chance the Penguins and Flyers don't like or respect each other much....

Meet The Man Who Tried Out To Be A Denver Broncos Cheerleader
When Sacha Heppell noticed that the Broncos were holding an open call for new cheerleaders last weekend, he decided to give it a go. Although Denver's cheerleading powers-that-be maintained that the squad is solely for women, that didn't stop Heppell from trying to make history. He was cut after t...
![Marian Hossa Was Stretchered Off The Ice After This Brutal Hit From Raffi Torres [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Marian Hossa Was Stretchered Off The Ice After This Brutal Hit From Raffi Torres [UPDATE]
In a Stanley Cup playoffs on pace to smash records for game misconducts, it appears its most dangerous hit to date will be one that escaped on-ice punishment. In the first period of tonight's Game Three, Coyotes enforcer Raffi Torres left his feet to hit the Blackhawks' Marian Hossa; Hossa was un...

Your Football Team Will Win 11, Maybe 12 Games Next Season (Deadspin Classic)
Originally published April 20, 2011....

When A $125 Loan Denial Results In Wielded Knives: A Witness's Account
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Epic girl fight! Parenting fail. Shocking woman pulls a knife with child watching." Tonight's commentator: Steve Spell II, proprietor at The Float Dog LLC in Hammond, ...

Jessica Dorrell Has Resigned, Will Receive $14K From University
Jessica Dorrell, the motorcycle seatmate and texting buddy of former Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino, has resigned her position as the team's student-athlete development coordinator. Dorrell was hired over by Petrino over 158 other applicants at an annual salary of nearly $59,000. University ...

Isaac Redman Appears Nonplussed With The Steelers' New Retro Uniforms
The Steelers unveiled these new uniforms today, which are meant to harken back to 1934, when the team was (also) called the Pirates and society had no conception of retinas being spontaneously burned. Maybe it's not too late for the team to temporarily change its name to the Rogues and sign some ins...

Clemens Lawyers, Prosecutors Caught Discussing Trial Strategy Over Hot Mic
Jury selection began this week in the second perjury trial of Roger Clemens, and journalists were given an unexpected glimpse into what they might expect once jury selection is over....

Deadspin Up All Night: Ramble On, Levon
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik will be with you soon. Please think warm thoughts for Levon Helm tonight....

Oh, Why Not? Here's Rob Gronkowski Dancing And Singing Along To LMFAO
The Offseason of Gronk made it to Playboy Golf a couple of weeks back. Gronk's the one in the shades with the Zubaz pants and the matching Zubaz headband. Hope that clears up any confusion....

Kobe Bryant Has Some Very Telling Thoughts On How To Achieve World Peace
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Global domination, Kobe style....