e Page 7191 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Two Blonde Blow-Up Dolls Got Motorcycle Rides On The Arkansas Campus Today
And this photo of them was spotted by a reader named Trey. This much is known: The two outlaws driving certainly weren't Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper. So was this a protest against the university's decision to fire Bobby Petrino? An attempted re-enactment of the infamous accident scene? A double da...

A Guy From My First-Period Class In High School Is Coming To Save The New York Rangers
The New York Rangers have the top seed in the Eastern Conference for the Stanley Cup playoffs (Thursday! On NHL Network! Catch it!), but the New York Rangers might be doomed. They face the Ottawa Senators in the first round. The Rangers went 1-2-1 against the Sens during the regular season. The Rang...
![Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]
We've written here before about how spectacular La Liga goals can bring GOLTV analyst Ray Hudson to orgasm, but today's free kick goal by Cristiano Ronaldo against Atlético de Madrid earned Hudson's description of an orgasm....

It Looks Like MetLife Stadium Is On Fire, But It's Not
Don't panic! This photo is just a trick of perspective. There is a massive brush fire burning in Jersey, near the Meadowlands—it was even visible from Brooklyn for a time. But the homes of the Giants, Jets, and the depressing standardbreds of Meadowlands Racetrack are safe....

Just Three More Months Until <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em>, Folks
It always seems like the summer movie season begins earlier every year, but it doesn't, not really. The unofficial beginning in 2012 is May 4, when The Avengers—a movie that's so big, apparently, that it turned massive tentpole films like Iron Man 2 and Thor into, essentially, prequels—opens wide, f...

5 Important Contracts Set To Expire At ESPN (Or, Why Michelle Beadle Is Probably Done In Bristol)
On Tuesday, we told you that ESPN execs are ready to walk away from Rick Reilly's contract when it expires next year. But what about this year's expiring contracts? Whose time in Bristol might soon be over? We counted at least four ESPN talents—plus Colin Cowherd—whose deals are up this year. Here's...

3 Things To Watch For On The First Night Of The Stanley Cup Playoffs, Which Is Tonight, I Think
We're pretty sure the National Hockey League playoffs begin tonight. They excite lots of folks, so they might excite you too....

A Prayer For Jacques Plante's Busted Schnoz
Let's let Jacques Plante's Hockey Hall of Fame biography tell this one:...

Tony Romo Spawned
The Cowboys quarterback and wifey Candice Crawford Romo had a kid Monday, with Romo perhaps hoping to capture the family-man success of NFC East foe Eli Manning. Little Hawkins Crawford Romo has his mother's eyes and his father's penchant for choking on small objects like playoff wins. [Dallas Morni...

Rex Ryan Is The Only Person In The World Who Doesn't Want The Jets To Do <i>Hard Knocks</i> Again
Owner Woody Johnson was curiously coy about the Jets doing another edition of HBO's Hard Knocks, when asked about it last week. That's because, according to Fox Sports, he's totally all about it. What's not to like? Tebow! Sanchez! Holmes! Ryan! This could be the greatest reality/docudrama/propagand...

Jerry Sandusky Is Using His Charity's Insurance To Pay For His Defense
That's according to USA Today, which estimated the cost of Sandusky's legal bills to be $200,000—so far. The newspaper talked to Sandusky's attorney, Lawyerin' Joe Amendola, in the days before a judge issued a gag order to silence all that lawyerin'. Here's Lawyerin' Joe giving us a glimpse of Sandu...

Mark Reynolds Is The Worst Third Baseman In Baseball
Yes, even worse than Miguel Cabrera. Last night's Orioles-Yankees game only went to extra innings because Reynolds booted a grounder in the sixth inning that led to a pair of Yankee runs. In the top of the 12th, with the go-ahead runner on third and one out, Reynolds gave perfunctory chase to a f...

Soccer Player Takes Photo With Adorable Child—And <i>Playboy</i> Magazine He Just Bought
Panamanian defender Felipe Baloy plays for Mexican side Santos Laguna, and when approached by a charming little tyke decked out in full Warriors uniform, he happily knelt and posed for a photo. So did Ms. Jackeline Arroyo, cover model for the March issue of Playboy's Mexican edition....

Vince Carter Airballed A Finger-Roll Last Night
At first, the best part of this clip is how the Kings pretty much allow Carter to traipse down the lane for what should have been one of his signature dunks. Not too long ago, Carter would have obliged by giving all of us something to marvel at. But he's 35 now, and it must be harder and harder for...

Is There Anything Sadder Than A Draft Lottery Party When You Don't Get The First Pick?
Nail Yakupov is the consensus best player in the 2012 NHL draft, but beyond that? Your guess is as good as Scott Howson's....

Why Yes, This Human-Chicken-Squid Hybrid Is A Cubs Fan
Ronnie Tomaszewski was skipping yet another of his classes at North Park University when he remembered it was Thursday already and he was a bit short on cash for what was sure to be a big weekend of partying. A few of his fraternity brothers had testified to the easy money of that old college stand...

Better Know An Umpire: Bill Welke
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. ...

Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic Will Play Madrid's 85,000-Seat Soccer Stadium
Tennis sure does love its stunts. In 2005, Andre Agassi and Roger Federer played a few games 700 feet off the ground, atop Dubai's Burj Al Arab hotel. Last year, Federer and Rafael Nadal played on a floating court in the middle of Doha Bay. Now, Nadal and 60 Minutes darling Novak Djokovic are slated...

Bobby Petrino Issues Apology: "I Have No One To Blame But Myself"
After Arkansas athletic director Jeff Long's emotional press conference to announce the firing of Bobby Petrino, the ex-Razorbacks football coach released this statement, apologizing for the conduct that led to his dismissal. ...

The Blue Jays' Attempt To Stop Opening Day Fights Through Alcohol Restrictions Didn't Work
We told you yesterday about the Blue Jays' attempts to limit beer consumption during their home opener in an attempt to curtail rowdy behavior, but it didn't seem to work. Not only was there a fight in the normally-sedate 100 section, but things got a bit out of hand elsewhere as well. Here's a fi...