eh Page 113 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Donald Trump Doesn't Like This Any More Than You Do
Donald Trump does not want to be the president....
Repent, For The Mongoose Horde Is Nigh
Stay away from open windows. Lock your doors. The mongoose legion approaches. There will be no survivors....
President Obama Notes That The Warriors Blew A 3-1 Lead In The Finals
In these, the precious final days before the title of Leader of the Free World is officially handed over to an unhinged megalomaniacal trash TV star, it is important to treasure the relatively good times we have today. To help us at least temporarily forget about this lost world we find ourselves in...
How Long Can You Wear Championship Gear?<em></em>
Hey, it’s Election Day! You should go vote. Unless you forgot to register, in which case it’s probably too late, in which case you are utterly powerless to control the country’s destiny, in which case we may all burn forever as a result of your negligence, in which case you should hide when we come ...
Some Managerial Moves That Probably Won't Matter Much
Fresh off a sub-.500 season, the Colorado Rockies are reportedly replacing Walt Weiss, who managed the team to no higher than a third-place finish in four years, with Bud Black. Although the hiring has yet to be confirmed, several outlets are reporting based on sources close to the issue. This is fi...
Oregon Linebacker Arrested After Allegedly Punching A Woman
Oregon Ducks linebacker Eddie Heard was arrested on Wednesday and charged with fourth-degree assault and harassment after allegedly punching a woman outside of a bar in Eugene, Oregon on Oct. 30, according to The Oregonian. The team announced this morning that Heard has been suspended....
Sixers And Hornets Give Up, Decide To Just Sort Of Flail Everywhere<em></em>
We’ve brought you a lot of dumb basketball lately, but good lord, this here sequence from the Sixers and Hornets is the worst offense yet. ...
Game 3's Pitching Match-Up Was A Throwback
Last night’s World Series Game 3 wasn’t quite the pristine pitching match-up its 1-0 final score might indicate—there was an inconsistent strike zone, some very poor base running, Cleveland couldn’t score runners in scoring position for most of the game and each team ended up reaching for relief arm...
Lauren Holiday Recovering From Brain Surgery, Gave Birth In September
Retired U.S. Women’s National Team midfielder Lauren Holiday underwent brain surgery Thursday to remove a benign tumor and is recovering in North Carolina. In September, Holiday gave birth to a daughter, who shares a name with her father, NBA player Jrue Holiday....
Chicago Cubs Are National League Champions<em></em>
The Cubs just needed to win a game. And so they did, shutting out the Dodgers 5-0 Saturday night to earn a trip to the World Series for the first time since 1945. That was so long ago (how long ago was it?!) that this marks their first ever NLCS win as the World War II-era pennant was a simple matt...
Nicolas Batum Totally Blows Easy Buzzer-Beater
Before we get too far into this blog, a caveat: It’s the preseason, so this failed buzzer-beater means exactly dick. That said, it was very funny....
White Sox Fan Frank Kaminsky Owns The Cubs
Frank Kaminsky is a White Sox fan and he apparently isn’t one to celebrate his city’s other team’s success. To express his displeasure, he’s decided to wear a custom Steve Bartman jersey around the city. He rocked it on a rooftop last night, then wore it to the Bulls’ arena before the Hornets’ game ...
Report: Chris Broussard Is Leaving ESPN For Fox Sports
ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard is finalizing a deal to decamp for Fox Sports, according to Sporting News’s Mike McCarthy, where he is likely to pair with former NBAer Jim Jackson on FS1. McCarthy previously reported that Broussard’s ESPN contract was expiring in mid-September, and I have be...
Did Julio Urias Commit A Balk When He Picked Off Bryce Harper?
Julio Urias got out of the fifth inning of tonight’s game against the Nationals with a brilliant pickoff of Bryce Harper. He spent most of Jayson Werth’s at-bat trying to get Bryce Harper out at first, and after a few tries, he finally got him. ...
LAPD Detective Investigating Derrick Rose Rape Case Found Fatally Shot
A Los Angeles Police Department employee who died yesterday has been identified as 44-year-old Nadine Hernandez, a member of the Robbery-Homicide Division Special Assault Section and one of two detectives investigating the rape allegations against Derrick Rose....
The Cleveland Browns Are A Sick Joke
In the process of getting whooped by the Patriots today, the Browns cycled through three quarterbacks. It feels like every week, you hear that the Browns have hit a new low, and again, this week, the Browns hit a new low....
They Let Phil Kessel Visit The White House
The Pittsburgh Penguins brought the Stanley Cup to the White House today, and Phil Kessel took time out of his empty schedule to stop by. He’s had a nice, relaxing offseason....
What Is The White House Hiding About Clowns?
The clowns amongst us have organized and entered into the formal blood pact known as Clown Purge. Our streets run red with novelty foam noses. Our horny teens, too terrified to hook up in cemeteries. It’s only natural that, in these times of crisis, we look to our Commander-in-Chief for answers. And...
Ben Simmons Fractures A Bone In His Foot
Philadelphia 76ers number one overall draft pick Ben Simmons has fractured “the fifth metatarsal bone of his right foot,” the team announced. The injury was suffered when he rolled his ankle while scrimmaging earlier today, and the team didn’t announce a projected recovery timeline....
The Dolphins Do Everything Wrong
Let’s check in on the Dolphins after last night’s walk through a field of banana peels, shall we?...